On Every Street
There's gotta be a record of you someplace,
You gotta be on somebody's books
The lowdown picture of your face
Your injured looks
The secret and profane
The pleasure and the pain
Somewhere your fingerprints remain concrete
And it's your face I'm looking for on every street
"Lani, where are you? I know you're here, Lani. Come out!"
I don't know what I was trying to prove in my search. Everyone knew he was dead; everyone accepted that and moved on, but not me. I felt I had something to prove, something to close. I needed to apologize, to make things right again.
Lady-killer, regulation tattoo,
Silver spurs on his heels
Says what can I tell you cause I'm standing next to you
She threw herself under my wheels
Oh it's a dangerous road
And a hazardous load
And the fireworks over liberty explode in the heat
And it's your face I'm looking for on every street.
I couldn't let him slip through my fingers like sand. I had given everything to him, bared my soul, and then let him go. The extreme guilt and mental torture was going to slowly eat me alive.
My search started on the fourth of July, ironically, his "birthday". I was watching the fireworks with Ellen and Cooper when one drifted up, spiralling, like an angel. It hit me then, Lani is here with us tonight. Lani wants me to find him.
And so my search began. I sat near the pier late into the night, staring down into the murky water, calling his name.
"Lani, I'm sorry! I'm sorry for escaping, I'm sorry for saying I hated you, I love you! I love you, Lani. I'm sorry for asking so many questions, forgive me, come back!"
Three-chord symphony crashes into space
The moon is hanging upside down
I don't know why it is I'm still on the case
It's a ravenous town
You still refuse to be traced
Seems to me such a waste
Every victory has a taste that's bittersweet
And it's your face I'm looking for on every street
I don't know why I'm searching for someone who is, logically, dead. I just feel drawn, like I need to. I don't know what I would do if I found him. I'd probably run away with him, protect him from things he thought he didn't need to be protected from.
"Lani? Ollee ollee oxen free, I don't want to play this game anymore, come out or I'm going home."
I pause a few moments before leaving as if I expect him to pop up, grinning, "Gotcha, Claire!" wrapping his arms around my shoulders and twirling me around. He doesn't, of course, and I give my search up for the night, slowly walking towards home.
