CHAPTER 1 - The Hard Truth

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! Or any of the related characters if I did

I would not be sitting here writing this right now. -.-;

A/N: I don't really get that many reviews…so sometimes I don't know if I want to update…or what I can improve on and this is a fixed up re-posting so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! YAOI WARNING!

(Thoughts between Yami's and Lights)

((Thoughts from Lights to Yami's.))

Chapter One

(YUGI?)

Yugi looked up from his spot on the bed to smile weakly at me.

((Yes Yami?)) Yugi replied through our link some-what hesitantly.

Something was wrong… I felt my heart tear. Did he know? I knew I should have told him…

(Yugi, aibou, what's wrong?)

((Nothing))He thought, this time stronger.

That hurt me more than anything. He didn't trust me any more did he? I knew it was wrong but…I love him…But I love Yugi too. Why is this happening? Why is this time and place so unrelenting to this way of life I know?

(Yugi…koi…please tell me) I begged him. I reached out to hold him but he pulled away as though my touch disgusted him.

((D-Don't touch me Yami)) He stammered, the anger and betrayal he felt burning in his violet eyes.

My heart throbs with finality. He knows.

(Gomen ne Yugi…Onegai…)

"Please what Yami? Please forgive you for having sex with him after you professed undying love for me?" He said aloud his voice echoing through my mind.

That's exactly what I wanted…was I being selfish? Maybe I should tell him what I really want. This was so unusual for me…so different from my life before…

((Yugi…Please I want us to be together but I have these…feelings for him that just won't leave me alone))

"But why Yami? Why not tell me this? Why let me find out that way?" He cried, no longer using our bond to speak with me.

Yugi's head stayed raised but I could see the crystal tears that fell from his beautiful violet eyes.

It hurt to see him this way. How did he find out? Unless…

"I saw you with him. I heard you. I felt you"

The tears fell from his cheeks to the bed. With them went my heart.

Oh Kami-Sama.

(Please Yugi…I wanted to tell you…)

"What you wanted to do and what you did are two different things Yami! Maybe you should have thought of me instead of simply your lustful desires!"

In knew what he was going to do. He was going to destroy me completely. I just couldn't let that happen. I had to stop him. We were meant to be together…honestly I did love him…I just loved more than just him…why was that so wrong?

I went to him and faster then he could pull away I pressed my lips to his roughly. I gently flicked my tongue over his lips making him open his mouth to allow me entrance. I wouldn't give this up I wouldn't take no for an answer. I simply couldn't. I held his small, frail body to mine and relished in the feel of his erection pressed against

my own hardening one.

At least he was still sexually attracted to me.

I could live with that right?

No, of course I couldn't. I was the pharaoh and I always got exactly what I wanted…even if it was my lover's soul.

I would have all of him. His heart, His body…and his soul.

Yugi pushes me off of him.

"Yugi what…" I exclaimed, as the unexpected strength of his shove pushed me off balance and I fell to the ground.

"I don't want that Yami…I don't want his extras…"

"But, Aibou…you do want, it's not like you are efficient at hiding it from me… remember I have loved you for a long time…I know you better than anyone else."

He glares at me.

"I may be horny but that doesn't mean I'll take you, and if you loved me so much, you wouldn't have made that mistake."

Those words lashed through my heart tearing and searing to the end.

(Yugi…I love you.)

"I don't care…I don't love or trust you at all Yami… You haven't given me a single reason to. You're not good enough for me anymore, so just stay away from me!"

With that he ran from the room leaving me to mend my broken heart.

I fell to the ground feeling the unfamiliar wetness on my cheeks…I

was…crying. I hadn't cried since I was ten in ancient Egypt, and my father had died.

I just am not good enough for him…I have to face it…why deny it? He told me himself that I wasn't for him…He hates me. I am a fool. I want it all to end…There's only one-way to make it stop…Death. Suicide…that will have to work. I can't live like this. I refuse.

I am alone in this world. A world that has never been mine.

I ran to the bathroom, and picked up Yugi's grandfathers razor. It shone in the light, like the most beautiful of jewels.

I raised it to my wrist and began to pressure it feeling the glorious pain coursing through my body. The blood beaded around the cut and I watched in fascination as it dripped to the floor.

This is the only way. I hurt him too much. Without him there is no me. I'm sorry Hikari I never meant to hurt you…I love you both but I know it won't work…I just can't choose. You mean the world to me…I love you…both of you.

I was starting to feel the effects of the loss of blood. It was making me really dizzy. I felt the edges of my sight grow dimmer and dimmer black outlining everything. The blood pounded in my ears. I could feel my heartbeat slowing. If I passed out now it wouldn't kill me I need to slash again…I-I can't its all growing dark so fast. With that the darkness completely enveloped me and I fell hoping that it was over…the pain. My life.

P.O.V: Yugi

Maybe I was a little hard on him. It's just that it hurts so much to think that the other man was better than me. So what if I am still a virgin? I'm just…saving it. That whore isn't…obviously. Wait! what am I saying? I have my own feelings for him… how could I be such a hypocrite? I think I need to admit it to myself. I'm so mad because

Yami got to him before me. Even now if I just close my eyes I can see them entangled in their web of passion. I close my eyes and just stop. I need to think but it all comes back and I am lost in the memories.

A/N: I will post again as soon as I find out whether all you guys like it or not  and the next 3 chapters are already written with the next on containing LEMON Lyndsay-Marie