Disclaimer: The right to 'Star Trek: Voyager' do not belong to me. No infringement of copyright is intended and no money is being made of this.
Author'snote: A few weeks ago, I was very busy and had no time to write on 'Ab Urbe Condita', but too much inspiration not to write. Added to that, I had the song 'Goodnight Saigon' by Billy Joel in my head, which is really a beautiful although sad song, and couldn't get it out. This is what happens.
As usual thanks go to Kimberly, my great beta-reader, who did her best to make this atleast halfway presentable, although I was stubborn and didn't always listen. Thanks Kim, I really appreciate it!
The door slammed loudly. Chakotay didn't have to look up to know who had stormed in – only a mad-as-Grethor half-Klingon could slam a door with that much gusto. She'd probably missed those doors when they were on Voyager. After all, the ones on Voyager couldn't be slammed. Oh, whom was he kidding? B'Elanna managed to slam even those!
B'Elanna sat down heavily in the chair opposite his, but remained silent. After a moment, he raised his head to meet her eyes, finding them ablaze with anger.
,,What did you think you were doing?" That was definitely not what he'd thought she'd say. He opened his mouth in protest, but didn't even get a word out as she raged on. ,,How could you plead guilty? I know you didn't do all those things and so do you!"
,,It's not about what I did. They needed a scapegoat and I'd rather it be me than any of you." Her eyes widened slightly and some of the fire left of them, an empty despair replacing it.
,,You sacrificed yourself to save the crew." It wasn't an accusation like her other words, merely a statement, said in little more than a whisper.
,,Yes."
,,But Chakotay, none of us wanted that."
,,Otherwise you'd all go to prison, B'Ella."
,,We would all go down together, remember?" He closed his eyes for a moment. They'd promised each other that in the Maquis; just before a raid. At the time, they had thought that fight would surely kill them all.
,,I had to do this, B'Ella. It was the only possibility." She frowned at his statement and searched his eyes for just a minute. She seemed to have found the answer to her unasked question. Her eyes glazed over and he could see she was battling tears with the same strength she'd once fought Cardassians.
,,You already knew you'd go to prison. You knew before the trial, didn't you? Maybe even before we reached Earth." Tears pooled in the corner of her eyes. ,,If you knew all along, then why did you still want to get back to the Alpha Quadrant? You don't have any family here and I know you, you did really want to get back. Hell, you were almost as determined as the Captain herself!" His expression changed just slightly, barely detectable, but she noticed it. ,,That's it, isn't it? The captain. Where is she anyway?"
,,She's still in debriefings."
,,Why, Chakotay? I always thought you wanted to get home, because you would be free to love her here, but if you knew you'd go to jail…"
,,I wanted to get home, because I could see the effect it had on her to be out there, bearing the burden of command and her guilt for getting us stranded in the Delta Quadrant. I wanted to get home so Kathryn could appear again." B'Elanna was stunned into silence – not an easy feat – and just stared back at him. That didn't last long, however.
,,Does she know all this?"
,,No."
,,Does she even know how much you love her?"
,,I think she does." The tear that had threatened to fall now slid down her face, alone in its tribute to her grief. Silence stretched between them while both looked at each other, no words left to say. Neither awkward nor companionable, it hung over them like a dark cloud, with sadness as its rain. After long minutes, a guard appeared next to their table. Visiting hour was over. With a simple goodbye, B'Elanna left her honorary brother alone at their table in the visitor's area…
Fine