Blue lips, blue veins / Blue, the color of our planet from far, far away / Blue, the most human color
Regina Spektor - "Blue Lips"
Blue has always been my favorite color.
It reminds me of water and of the fish in the river and the seas that have fed me since I was a boy.
It reminds me of the sky, where I've spent hours with the Nimbus and under my own power, high and free.
It reminds me of Bulma, my best friend, my first friend, always there for me no matter what.
It reminds me of Chi-Chi, my first love and the mother of my boys.
Now, most of all, more than anything, it reminds me of him.
He wore blue when we first met, that first fight of many between us. I remember the blue of his eyes the first time I saw him as a Super Saiyan. And now…
I'm mesmerized. He folds his arms and closes his eyes, that old smirk playing on his lips.
"At a loss for words, Kakarot?"
Despite the sparks ignited around his new form, I want nothing more than to reach out and touch him. The power itself overwhelms me; I'm surprised that I feel weak, but I don't know if it's just my heart skipping its beats.
The aura around him illuminates everything in an aqua glow. His eyes have become azure, a pure blue like a clear and open sky. His hair dances, so like his blonde Super Saiyan spikes, but now they shimmer in shades of turquoise. Contrasted with the deep gray of his armor, he has become more than princely. He is godlike.
"Wow, Vegeta!" is all I can think to say when I catch my breath.
"Hmm." He juts out his jaw, lower lip stiff. "Let's see you then. Don't keep me waiting."
I smile. I've only taken on the form once before. It seemed to have taken Vegeta hardly any effort to power up. I summon the energy and feel the burst of it as I take on the form. My body is engulfed in cool flame, but I can sense the energy under my own skin, sparking and bursting to get free. I feel invincible.
Vegeta looks at me with half an eyebrow raised. I hold my fists at my side and wait for his assessment.
"Not bad, Kakarot," he finally says. "Shall we see who the stronger god truly is?"
I feel more drawn to Vegeta than ever as we spar. To fight against him has always thrilled me. Ever since our first battle, when he left me more battered and broken than I ever had been before, I have craved these fights. He would probably say it's a Saiyan thing-the desire to punch and kick and bite, to inflict pain and feel it returned tenfold, to bleed and bruise and scar.
That first fight made me want nothing to do with being a Saiyan. To see how ruthless Vegeta, Nappa and Raditz were made me sick. I wanted nothing more than to just stay human.
As I spar with Vegeta now, I realize how far from human we truly are. To be Saiyan, to be a Super Saiyan… and now to be on par with a god has brought us further from the race that we have protected now for so long. I remind myself that these humans comprise the race that we have befriended and mated with. Our children are both human and Saiyan. But do he and I have any humanity at all, though we live among them and love them?
The pain in my body as he kicks and punches is a constant reminder of my frailty as a mortal being. Saiyans are strong, but not invincible. We've already died at least once, and someday we will die again, for good, just like the humans will. Vegeta once wanted to wish for immortality, like so many other Dragon Ball seekers before him. As he launches his brutal attacks at me I wonder why that desire left him. Surely he feels the pain I inflict on his body with my fists and feet. Yet to become immortal would render those sensations meaningless.
"You're slow today, Kakarot." His blue eyes blaze at me as his body dances with flame. My heart can't keep up with whatever sensation pulses through me: elation, perhaps, or an overwhelming sense of need.
"Still getting used to the new form, I guess!"
"Ha. Why am I not surprised?" His fist hurls toward my face. I block with my forearm and send a knee toward his ribs. He blocks with his own shin and his fist rockets into my stomach.
I cough but no blood comes up. Is it possible to bleed when you're channeling the power of a god?
I respond with my own brutal attack, appearing behind him and landing a nasty kidney punch. He grunts in pain but smirks, the expression playing over his defined facial features.
Gods, I want to kiss the bastard.
It's been on my mind for months now, and seeing him all blue and beautiful and close to me is only making it worse. I've fallen for him, many times over, in spite of all of his faults and his former cruelty.
With a jolt, I realize that this is it. This is where my humanity lies.
I have many reasons to hate Vegeta. Though he has redeemed himself-again and again-I don't think he or anyone else would blame me if I despised him.
But I don't. I love him deeply, with an unrequited craving that has left me as hollow as an empty shell yet filled to the brim with a wanting that never wanes.
I've learned that humans have an endless capacity for love. More than fighting, more than being strong, it is love that drives them. They do crazy, stupid, horrible things out of love. And they do good, amazing, beautiful things too.
This is the gift they've given me: the capacity to look in the eyes of my former enemies and feel only love where rage once smouldered.
I feel certain now, as I stare Vegeta down, his blue aura swirling, that he too has experienced love in the same way. He and I are both so very Saiyan, but the small blue planet we call home has changed us both. He took a family; he sacrificed himself for the Earth; he continues to defend humans against aliens and destructive gods alike. As I watch him now I see clearly the good in him shining through his new aura. Finding his humanity has given him the strength of a god, and he will never be the same.