Broken Love
by Insano
You know, I never would have expected this in all my wildest dreams. A sin, a mistake, a past unforgivable. How could he do this to me? My Daisuke, wait.. my? He could never be mine. I won't allow it. I don't deserve this angel. His feelings must be confused. how the hell would someone love a wretched thing like me? I tortured the digimon for a good portion of a year, and I enjoyed it. In fact, I almost.... I almost wish that I didn't care it was wrong.. this feeling of power... I'd still enjoy it. He knows that. I keep nothing from him, so why does he say he loves me?
I was in the park telling this very thing about how I'm still very tainted because I'd still enjoy it.
Daisuke only grins back at me saying, "Well we all get like that sometimes. I mean who wouldn't want to be in control at times? Anyway, you've changed. I don't see you whipping at innocent digimon or kicking Wormmon around. You have the desire, maybe, but you do the right thing. That's all that counts Ken. Unlike me, when I get angry, I'll yell and scream and do anything to get my way. I don't do jack shit to control myself." Daisuke seemed to space off for a second and blushed a little. He grinned broadly, "Enough of this serious stuff. Let's get some icecream!" He jumped up and ran ahead a little. I blinked at his antics, then smiled. He stopped and turned around. "Ken, are ya comin' or not?" he called a little ways off. I got up and hurried towards him. Caught up in my thoughts about what it'd be like to share an icecream with Daisuke, the next thing I knew, I was falling into Daisuke's arms. I had tripped. Honestly I did. Daisuke attempted to catch me, and that he did, but soon we were falling to the ground together. I couldn't help but get excited, a million possibilities running through my head. I forced myself to stop that line of thinking before--oh, god no. I thought. It was too late. I was lying on top of Daisuke my groin against his thigh, which was currently quite hard. I tried to will myself to calm down, but I blushed, and looking into Daisuke's eyes, I found I was getting even more aroused and more immobile. I was blushing profoundly, wanting to die, and wondering why Daisuke hadn't pushed me off. I tried to speak but found I couldn't. I looked straight into his eyes and I saw surprise, happiness, and love? I knew what was happening now. I was in another torturous dream that showed me exactly what I couldn't have and what would never happen. And like any other dream, I decided to enjoy the moment while I could. I leaned in and placed my lips on his. Unlike most dreams, he didn't respond right away. I warmed up to the kiss and sucked on his lower lip. A small moan was heard from the goggled boy. I delved my tongue inside and Daisuke's eyes widened. He pushed me off of him and panted for air. "What the fuck do ya think you're doing?" He said.
"I was..umm." By now I realized I wasn't dreaming. My nightmares were never like this. I had taken those pure lips that were now tainted. Shame filled me, and I was near to tears. Daisuke immediately responded.
"Ken, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly
"Aren't you mad?" I ask unsurely.
"Of course not Ken, you're my best friend." He said softly and glanced away. "Why?" His back to me, his shoulders began to shake silently as if he was sobbing. I turn him around and hug him close.
He shoved me away. "Don't." he growled. "Don't do this to me. I don't know how you found out, but you're my friend. Don't torture me like this Ken. I trusted you not to do something like this." He stared at me, his eyes full of pain and tears. "I trusted you Ken!"
"You aren't making any sense Daisuke." I say, worried about our friendship.
"You sure as damn well know what I'm talking about, or else you wouldn't have done that, because there is no fucking way you'd do that out of affection, no one could love me." he said, frustrated.
"I don't know what you're getting at, but," I turn away, shuddering in fear, "I do love you." He is silent for a moment.
"I don't know why you're playing around with me like this Ken, but I don't like it. I thought we were friends. Stop lying to me, stop playing with my emotions. I know I'm not worthy for you." He said softly.
"Daisuke, It's me who's not worthy of you. I don't understand this at all.. Why are you acting as though you actually care.." I trailed off. How could he love me, how could this angel feel unworthy to me. "I'm sorry for tainting your perfect lips Daisuke, I couldn't help it, I'm too much in love with you."
"Stop acting! I felt that kiss! You were teasing me! There was no love in it! Don't tell me you love me, I don't want to hear it!"
Daisuke stood and turned to leave me. I grabbed him, clinged to him.
"Listen to me. Tell me. Do you love me?"
"Isn't it obvious?! I love you! Are you happy now? Go tell Miyako that next time you see her, I'll she get a kick out of it before you seduce her!" He tried to get away, but I wouldn't let go.
"What are you talking about?"
"I see the way you look at her! The way I could only wish you would look at me!" His eyes were filled with such pain, such fear. I had to conquer my own doubts to save his spirit. I could never live with myself if I crushed an angel's soul. I gently yet forcibly pulled him to me, held him jar and placed a kiss on his lips. I delved my tongue inside and tasted his sweet taste. A taste of bittersweet tears. I deepened the kiss and as I kissed him I began to cry. I didn't deserve this. Even to relieve this angel's pain. I didn't deserve this. Daisuke loosened up and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close while passionately kissing me back. The tears began to cease and I pulled back for much needed air.
"I love you, I swear I do. With all my heart I do." I say. Daisuke smiled and kissed me tenderly, staring into my eyes.
"Shinjiteru. I believe in you. Aishiteru. I love you too." He said with such sincerity, I couldn't help but collapsing into his arms.
"Why?" I whispered nearly inaudibly. Daisuke just nibbled on my neck.
"I've been wanting this for so long... I can't believe this is real."
"Neither can I." I said.
That day was the beginning..... of so many things. Our relationship, like the get together, began a tedious and careful life, almost not even existing. It wasn't that we didn't want to be together, but that we were both confused and afraid, and we clinged to each other too tightly. If we had gotten together in any other way, maybe things would have turned out better.
I hope you guys like the new story. Sigh. I'm sorry about I Am Not the Fucking Gay.... I'm not gonna be updating for a while... I wrote the 14th chapter in a notebook and I can't find it.... :-P... I can't rewrite the lemon very well... sadness. well review please! hope you enjoyed!
by Insano
You know, I never would have expected this in all my wildest dreams. A sin, a mistake, a past unforgivable. How could he do this to me? My Daisuke, wait.. my? He could never be mine. I won't allow it. I don't deserve this angel. His feelings must be confused. how the hell would someone love a wretched thing like me? I tortured the digimon for a good portion of a year, and I enjoyed it. In fact, I almost.... I almost wish that I didn't care it was wrong.. this feeling of power... I'd still enjoy it. He knows that. I keep nothing from him, so why does he say he loves me?
I was in the park telling this very thing about how I'm still very tainted because I'd still enjoy it.
Daisuke only grins back at me saying, "Well we all get like that sometimes. I mean who wouldn't want to be in control at times? Anyway, you've changed. I don't see you whipping at innocent digimon or kicking Wormmon around. You have the desire, maybe, but you do the right thing. That's all that counts Ken. Unlike me, when I get angry, I'll yell and scream and do anything to get my way. I don't do jack shit to control myself." Daisuke seemed to space off for a second and blushed a little. He grinned broadly, "Enough of this serious stuff. Let's get some icecream!" He jumped up and ran ahead a little. I blinked at his antics, then smiled. He stopped and turned around. "Ken, are ya comin' or not?" he called a little ways off. I got up and hurried towards him. Caught up in my thoughts about what it'd be like to share an icecream with Daisuke, the next thing I knew, I was falling into Daisuke's arms. I had tripped. Honestly I did. Daisuke attempted to catch me, and that he did, but soon we were falling to the ground together. I couldn't help but get excited, a million possibilities running through my head. I forced myself to stop that line of thinking before--oh, god no. I thought. It was too late. I was lying on top of Daisuke my groin against his thigh, which was currently quite hard. I tried to will myself to calm down, but I blushed, and looking into Daisuke's eyes, I found I was getting even more aroused and more immobile. I was blushing profoundly, wanting to die, and wondering why Daisuke hadn't pushed me off. I tried to speak but found I couldn't. I looked straight into his eyes and I saw surprise, happiness, and love? I knew what was happening now. I was in another torturous dream that showed me exactly what I couldn't have and what would never happen. And like any other dream, I decided to enjoy the moment while I could. I leaned in and placed my lips on his. Unlike most dreams, he didn't respond right away. I warmed up to the kiss and sucked on his lower lip. A small moan was heard from the goggled boy. I delved my tongue inside and Daisuke's eyes widened. He pushed me off of him and panted for air. "What the fuck do ya think you're doing?" He said.
"I was..umm." By now I realized I wasn't dreaming. My nightmares were never like this. I had taken those pure lips that were now tainted. Shame filled me, and I was near to tears. Daisuke immediately responded.
"Ken, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly
"Aren't you mad?" I ask unsurely.
"Of course not Ken, you're my best friend." He said softly and glanced away. "Why?" His back to me, his shoulders began to shake silently as if he was sobbing. I turn him around and hug him close.
He shoved me away. "Don't." he growled. "Don't do this to me. I don't know how you found out, but you're my friend. Don't torture me like this Ken. I trusted you not to do something like this." He stared at me, his eyes full of pain and tears. "I trusted you Ken!"
"You aren't making any sense Daisuke." I say, worried about our friendship.
"You sure as damn well know what I'm talking about, or else you wouldn't have done that, because there is no fucking way you'd do that out of affection, no one could love me." he said, frustrated.
"I don't know what you're getting at, but," I turn away, shuddering in fear, "I do love you." He is silent for a moment.
"I don't know why you're playing around with me like this Ken, but I don't like it. I thought we were friends. Stop lying to me, stop playing with my emotions. I know I'm not worthy for you." He said softly.
"Daisuke, It's me who's not worthy of you. I don't understand this at all.. Why are you acting as though you actually care.." I trailed off. How could he love me, how could this angel feel unworthy to me. "I'm sorry for tainting your perfect lips Daisuke, I couldn't help it, I'm too much in love with you."
"Stop acting! I felt that kiss! You were teasing me! There was no love in it! Don't tell me you love me, I don't want to hear it!"
Daisuke stood and turned to leave me. I grabbed him, clinged to him.
"Listen to me. Tell me. Do you love me?"
"Isn't it obvious?! I love you! Are you happy now? Go tell Miyako that next time you see her, I'll she get a kick out of it before you seduce her!" He tried to get away, but I wouldn't let go.
"What are you talking about?"
"I see the way you look at her! The way I could only wish you would look at me!" His eyes were filled with such pain, such fear. I had to conquer my own doubts to save his spirit. I could never live with myself if I crushed an angel's soul. I gently yet forcibly pulled him to me, held him jar and placed a kiss on his lips. I delved my tongue inside and tasted his sweet taste. A taste of bittersweet tears. I deepened the kiss and as I kissed him I began to cry. I didn't deserve this. Even to relieve this angel's pain. I didn't deserve this. Daisuke loosened up and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close while passionately kissing me back. The tears began to cease and I pulled back for much needed air.
"I love you, I swear I do. With all my heart I do." I say. Daisuke smiled and kissed me tenderly, staring into my eyes.
"Shinjiteru. I believe in you. Aishiteru. I love you too." He said with such sincerity, I couldn't help but collapsing into his arms.
"Why?" I whispered nearly inaudibly. Daisuke just nibbled on my neck.
"I've been wanting this for so long... I can't believe this is real."
"Neither can I." I said.
That day was the beginning..... of so many things. Our relationship, like the get together, began a tedious and careful life, almost not even existing. It wasn't that we didn't want to be together, but that we were both confused and afraid, and we clinged to each other too tightly. If we had gotten together in any other way, maybe things would have turned out better.
I hope you guys like the new story. Sigh. I'm sorry about I Am Not the Fucking Gay.... I'm not gonna be updating for a while... I wrote the 14th chapter in a notebook and I can't find it.... :-P... I can't rewrite the lemon very well... sadness. well review please! hope you enjoyed!