Baby Blue / 3 pt. 1 shot
[Warning: Dark/Mature/might be offensive to some readers.]
Part I
"So, you guys are really getting a divorce, then?"
Hyde nodded, fumbling to find his pack of cigarettes.
Where were those damn smokes?
"What happened…why?"
Hyde shook his head. He didn't know either.
But it was all getting annoying.
"What did she say? She must have said something!"
"I don't regret it…I just want to forget it. Goodbye, Steven."
"I don't know, man. She's just gone," Hyde replied.
He sighed as his hands found the comforting pack of lights.
"She loved you…I just don't get it."
"Look, Forman. I really don't know what to tell you, but this game of twenty questions is really starting to get on my nerves."
"Look man, all I'm saying, if there's no good reason why she left you, then what the hell are you doing sitting on your ass?"
Hyde shrugged, taking in a long consoling drag.
Why should he answer? He didn't have to answer to anyone.
"Ah, I see it now. That's exactly why she left you…"
But before Hyde could reply, Eric Forman got up and left. Leaving Hyde all alone.
What was he to do now?
"Where the hell do you think you're going?"
"I'm leaving, Steven. I'm leaving you."
"What are you talking about…?"
"I'm…done. I want a divorce."
"Jacks…look, whatever I did to make you all crazy, I'm sorry-"
"That's just it. You haven't done anything. We got married, Steven. But just saying 'I do' isn't enough…I thought it would be, but it's not."
"I bet you're sorry you ever married this good for nothing bum, huh? Well, I guess it's good you realized that before you did anything stupider, like getting pregnant with my bastard child."
"…I don't deserve that. Don't make this harder than it has to be. You know that I tried, but you couldn't bring yourself to. I don't regret it…I just want to forget it. Goodbye, Steven."
Pt. 2
5 yrs. Later
"How are you, Steven?"
Hyde paused, taking a sip of his drink.
The whole thing was awkward. It had been five years. Five years, he had spent doing nothing productive in his life.
And now, here he was, sitting across from his ex-wife in a dingy bar.
"Whatever. How about you, how's life, Jackie?"
She gave him a small smile, nervously fingering her glass of wine.
"It's good, very good. Everything's been less hectic since the wedding. Robert and I have actually just settled into our new house."
Hyde nodded, expecting nothing less. After all, she was Jackie Burkhart.
He lit a cigarette, taking a long drag.
"So, why did you call me, Jacks?"
She steadied her glass at his sudden inquiry.
"I-I wanted to see you. To see how you were doing."
Hyde chuckled bitterly, as he inhaled again.
"You call me out of nowhere after five years, just to see how I'm doing? For some reason, Jacks, that sounds like bullshit."
"…How is it that you haven't changed in those five years? Can't I ask you something as simple as that? Or is that even too much for you to take?"
She set her glass down, her eyes now tearing.
"You left me. Do you remember that? You're the one that left me."
"Steven, I did not ask to meet so that we could rehash the past. I just…wanted to tell you what was happening in my life, because I care for you. And, I thought you cared, too."
"Fine. So, you want to tell me about what's going on in your life. If it's about the wedding to Robert, I already got the memo."
"I'm sorry that I didn't get the chance to tell you myself. I wanted to, but we hadn't spoken for so long, and I didn't want to hurt you more than I already had. So, when Donna told me that she had told you about our wedding, I figured I should just leave it be…That's not even the point here…"
Hyde shrugged. He was getting disinterested now.
He reminded himself that he had always been the victim.
He didn't have to be in her presence. He didn't have to suffer the pain.
"You know what, Jacks? I'm fine. Thanks for thinking of your ex and buying him a drink. But, I think I'll go now." Hyde stood up, smashing his cigarette into the ashtray.
She slowly rose from her seat, watching him turn from her.
"I'm pregnant, Steven."
Hyde paused for a moment, before turning to face her. Her face was red now. Her eyes bright. Her mouth trembling.
"Congratulations. Give my regards to Robert."
She nodded, tears now streaming down her face.
"It was nice seeing you, Steven. It really was."
Hyde forced a smile. It was all he could do before walking out of the place.
It had been bad. Not as bad as he thought it would have been to see her.
But, it hurt. Just thinking of her picture perfect family slashed at his heart – Her, Robert, and the baby…
It was the family he would never have.
Part III
ring ring ring.
"Hello?"
It was four in the morning. And the phone kept ringing.
Hyde was fucking pissed.
"…Steven?"
Hyde tensed as he immediately recognized the familiar voice.
Jackie Burkhart.
It had been less than 24 hours since their meet-up at the bar.
"...Steven, I'm so sorry," the voice whispered.
Hyde grasped the receiver tightly. He knew something was up.
"What is it Jacks?"
His heart dropped as he listened to the other end, the voice quivering and sobbing almost silently.
"I meant to tell you, Steven…I meant to. I'm so sorry…"
"Jacks, shh, it's alright. I already knew about the wedding, you don't have to beat yourself about it."
"No, Steven…if you could only forgive me for what I have done…I meant to tell you something last night. But you were so angry, so angry at me. So hurt, I couldn't tell you."
"What is it? Jacks, you need to tell me…"
"I was pregnant, Steven. I was 5-weeks pregnant when we got divorced."
Hyde felt his heart accelerate, as he gripped onto the receiver.
She was sobbing now. Unrestrained, uncontrolled sobs.
"Is-is it a boy or girl?" he whispered, hoarsely. His heart beat faster and faster. "Does she or he know about me?"
"I don't know…I never got the chance to…"
"What do you mean, Jacks?"
Then it dawned on him.
And for the second time, his heart broke.
"Do you mean you got a - "
"Yes! I got an abortion!" she cried. "I got an abortion…and I killed our baby."
Hyde felt lost now. He was surely lost in a different dimension by now.
"I'm sorry…I wanted to tell you. But we were broken, how were we going to raise a child…I couldn't bear the burden."
"Jacks, how could you…we-we had a chance. That baby was our chance…" he forced, his voice cracked.
"It haunted me, Steven. It haunted me, all these years. And then, I got pregnant again, and I felt like it was a new chance. A new life I could bring…and I knew it was my chance to tell you. Because I needed your approval. I needed for you to know and to still say to me that I could do it…"
Hyde felt heavy. He needed this to end. She had cut his heart out twice. He needed to go back to bed. Go to sleep. Sleeping forever.
"You'll be okay, everything will be okay," he whispered, fumbling to pick up his cigarette case on top of the drawer, next to his bed.
"I was so afraid to tell you…afraid of what you would say, Steven. You need to know I was confused," her voice quivered.
"I know, Jacks, everything will be okay. Your baby will be beautiful."
The smokes comforted him – he inhaled deeply, allowing the white ashes to fall onto his sheets.
"…I loved you, Steven."
Hyde paused as he held onto what he knew would be the last conversation with Jackie Burkhart. And this, too, shall pass.
"Me too, Jacks, me too."
click.
He stared at the receiver, now in its place.
The cigarette was now burnt out.
Hyde lit another, sitting in silence, allowing the haze of smoke to envelop him.
And for the first time, in a long time, he let the tears fall.