Spray Guns, World Domination and Italian Leather

By SmellDRoses

"Okay, that's it. This means war!" Serena spat out between gritted teeth.

"Now- Meatball Head, are you sure you want to do this?" Darien warned, smiling teasingly. He couldn't help it; he loved getting her riled, the way her cheeks got flushed, the sparks in her endless blue eyes, she was amazing… and some of the things she said – hilarious! "Because you know – I'm not going easy on you because you're of the weaker sex!"

"Why you – why you chauvinistic jerk! Meet me here," she emphasised the point by jabbing her finger downwards. "At two o'clock tomorrow. Prepare for war. Cos that's what you are going to get!" With that she stormed off, the arcade door slamming behind her. "Oh and there are no rules." Serena added over her shoulder.

"Do you know what you have gotten yourself into?" Andrew asked him from the counter. He couldn't believe how much Darien irritated Serena, and he knew he did it on purpose, he had to for it to work so well…right?

"Oh I know exactly what I'm getting into… but does she?" Was his not-so-innocent reply.

At two o'clock saw Serena hiding behind a shrubbery bush in the mall outside Andrew's Arcade, wearing army camouflage with a black line of war paint on each cheek. Her hair was bunched into a loop in her buns so as to keep her from tripping over it. She was determined to win.

"Tut – tut jerk, you're two minutes late, well, you will just have to pay for that later on!" Serena murmured murderously to herself. Still hiding she waited patiently until her nemesis decided to show up – 15 minutes late.

"Look what the cat dragged in." Serena commented to Darien, standing up from her hiding place. "You're late." She frowned murderously.

"Well, I wouldn't have been late if you hadn't decided to give me a pre-war gift." He frowned in annoyance. "I had to change." Serena noticed that he too was wearing army fatigues, only his were designed for the desert.

Early that morning, Serena woke up uncharacteristically early for her, half past ten, and rigged Darien's apartment door so that when he opened it, a bowl of flour and raw eggs would fall on him. Serena laughed imagining his reaction.

"Uhh…hate to disappoint you, but did you know you are wearing the wrong colours? That's for the desert terrain!"

"Well- thanks to you my green camouflage got sticky and floury!" Darien fumed. "Let's get on with this. I wanna go home and I can't until you've been beaten."

"Big words for such a small man. Take your stations." Serena ducked back behind the shrub she had previously been hiding behind. Quickly she got out her water guns from the holsters she had made the night before (made with her mum's scarves, they might have looked stupid, but they sure were useful). She counted silently to ten before ducking her head around her cover and firing at Darien.

Darien got hit in the face, but he gave as good as he got. Quickly, he ran from his cover and ran around Serena's bush so that he could soak her without any barriers getting in the way.

"Damn…I'm out of water – I mean ammo." Serena shot out of her hiding place and jumped on his back, determined to keep him from getting her anymore than he had with his super-soaker.

"Hey – no fair! Get off my back!" Darien whined bending forward in the hopes that she would fall off his back – a manoeuvre which was successful.

In a desperate attempt to inject some humour, Darien murmured "somehow I don't think that look in your eyes means you are happy to see me. I'm about to be throttled, aren't I?" to Serena, getting closer to her before dodging away.

Serena didn't look pleased and instead frowned at him and kicked him – and none too lightly – in the shin. "Don't try and put the moves on me…. It's not going to work. You know, you're going to have to catch me if you think you can win."

By this time, a crowd had gathered around the fighters. Serena, with no forewarning, pushed past the crowd and started running down the mall, dodging passer-by's as she went. Behind her she could hear Darien catching up with her, something she couldn't allow to happen. In a desperate attempt to get away from him she threw a shoe at him from a stall at him, she heard it hit him with a thud and then listened for his wise-guy comment that he was sure to come up with him. Silence…five…four…three…two…one…

"Okay, that is a surprisingly lethal high heel made from imported Italian leather. Please don't throw another at me." And there it was, right on time. Serena rolled her eyes before carrying on running.

Darien saw his chance; in front of his prey was a dead end. He almost fell down on his knees and thanked God for giving him the upper-hand. "Nowhere for you to go… my pretty." He laughed sinisterly. He couldn't help it, Serena brought out the madness in him.

"Ugh…you know, once an evil guy bent on world domination, ALWAYS an evil guy bent on world domination." Serena quipped back quickly, not thinking.

"I don't want world domination, although… now you say it…" Darien rolled his eyes. "…I wouldn't mind dominating you. And I'm not evil, Meatball Head, no matter what you think!"

"EW! Gross, we hate each other, you psychopath! This battle is happening because we HATE each other, we can't stand one another, no other reason, and no one is dominating me, no one!"

"This whole battle is a ploy to get you to want me, don't tell me you didn't figure it out. I thought you were better than this-" He went in for the punch-line once again, "-meatball head!"

"Why I oughta-" Serena started, advancing swiftly on the jerk in front of her with a suave grin carefully pasted onto his face.

Darien held up his hands, "Joke – Meatball – joke don't rip me to threads, you might regret it in the future!"

"Oh… don't worry, I won't regret anything." Serena cackled mercilessly and rubbed her hands gleefully together.

Darien, in a lightning fast move gripped both her hand to her sides and sighed in relief. "I don't know whether to hit you or kiss you! You don't know how beautiful you look right here do you? With your flushed cheeks, wet clothes sticking to you…" Darien sighed romantically.

"Come on Darien, you do realise that this isn't going to get you out of getting hurt do you? I'm too strong a woman to swoon at your pathetic wooing-" Serena bite out, in between trying to get out of his iron fast grip, to no success.

"Let's start again…Okay-scenario. You either come with me right now, or I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out. And I don't care how much you scream, pound me or throw things!" Darien injected before she could finish what she was saying.

"What rubbish are you spouting now Chiba? Don't you understand that we don't like each other? We have nothing in common. What is wrong with you?" Serena shouted at him, even though he was less than a meter away from her.

"I take it's going to be the hard way then." Darien sighed exasperatedly and picked Serena up, as he had told her he would, and threw her over his shoulder. He then confidently turned around and carried Serena out of the Mall.

Passers-by looked dazedly on at the man, carrying three super-soakers and a yelling girl, who was simultaneously pounding on his back. Both soaked to the core, in army fatigues and with the remains of war-paint dripping down their faces. The man determinedly walking out of the store, whistling a jaunty tune.

Darien heard one passer-by murmur to their neighbour, "It's obviously true love." He smiled at the woman before opening the store door and leaving.

The End