Author's Note: This fic was written for the QLFC Finals Round 1. I am Beater 2 for the Falmouth Falcons and had to write one of my fellow beater's OTPs: Alice/Frank. As Player 4 in our line-up, I also had to include both an epigraph (the Philip Roth quote) and an example of personification (several but I underlined the most prominent one). My optional prompts were (word) dawn and (song) 'Not Today' by Imagine Dragons, which I used several lyrics as inspiration but especially 'we'll make a memory out of it'. Word Count: 2301 (not including AN but including epigraph quote). A big thanks to Arty, Tiggs, and Lys for betaing.
"…we don't just forget things because they don't matter but also forget things because they matter too much because each of us remembers and forgets in a pattern whose labyrinthine windings are an identification mark no less distinctive than a fingerprint's…" - Philip Roth
She does not remember her name. She does not remember the name of the man in the bed beside hers or anyone else in the white room. She does not remember the world outside the room or that a world outside the room even exists. She does not remember that she's forgotten. She's forgotten what remembering is.
…
He remembers that he has forgotten, though he's forgotten what it is he doesn't remember. He forgets his name. He forgets the name of the woman in the bed beside his and everyone else in the white room. He forgets what the world outside the room is like and what is drawing him out there.
~oOo~
New Potion Improves Condition of St Mungo's Patients
Last month, an experimental potion was given to several long-term residents of the Janus Thickey Ward at St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. The potion—officially known as Mind Mending Mixture—was administered to three patients who were victims of severe trauma that had left them with what was thought to be permanent damage to their minds.
Since the first dose, two of the patients have improved greatly. This amazing new healing potion has restored the psyche of both patients as well as improving memory, communication, and other cognitive functions.
This advance in Healing is credited to several well-known potioneers, including Professor Regulus Moonshine and Hector Tugwood, as well as Hogwarts Herbology professor and ex-Auror Neville Longbottom and his wife, Matron of Hogwarts, Hannah Longbottom. After much controversy revolving around giving this experimental potion to his own parents, Mr Longbottom is currently receiving a lot of praise for his hand in creating what many consider a miracle cure.
The third patient to receive Mind Mending Mixture has not yet responded either positively or negatively to the potion. Mr Tugwood has released several reassuring statements that the entire team behind Mind Mending Mixture has not abandoned the possibility that the potion may take effect on this patient at any time.
~oOo~
"Good morning, Alice."
The blur of a woman in green appears in her periphery. She realizes someone is there, then that she wants to look at her. Her eyes are a telescope she must focus before the woman comes into view, a process Alice knows well. These people in green move too fast to be seen and talk too quick to be heard. She only catches the last word.
'Alice'. The people in green say that around her a lot. What is an Alice? What makes her an Alice? She lifts her hands to her face, so much easier than moving her eyes. There is nothing there but the wrinkles and knobs that have always been there. Nothing marks her as an Alice.
"I have your potion," the woman says. Alice stares at her through the spaces between her fingers where it is easier to watch her mouth speak and her eyes blink.
That last word sticks inside her ears. 'Potion'. Oh, what is that? Is that blue thing the 'potion'? Alice's eyes stick to the strange object, her focus screwing her eyes tight into her head and unable to follow the object as the woman in green lifts it to her mouth. The cool liquid wets her tongue and slides down her throat. It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth until she cannot remember what life is like without her tongue tasting of dried leaves.
…
"Good morning, Dad."
The fuzzy shape of a man fades into his blurry vision. Frank rubs away the sleep in his eyes and looks up into the face of his son.
His son. How had he ever forgotten this wonderful boy? No, Neville is a boy no longer, has not been one for quite some time. His dark eyes show the same shadows Frank has seen in his fellow Aurors' and in his own. This boy has been through much, but his round cheeks are as full and pink as the day Frank left him with his mother as he and Alice took an evening off to join the celebrations after Voldemort's defeat.
"I brought some breakfast," Neville says, holding up a tray loaded with foods he has not eaten in years: poached eggs, sausages, black pudding, hash browns. The warm scents invade Frank's mind, bringing up memories of the Great Hall of Hogwarts, of lazy days off and brunches, and of a baby bouncing on his lap while he navigates a fork away from grabbing fingers.
Oh, yes, that was his life. He remembers it now, though it does not always feel like his life. What is his life? Is it the memories of school and training and marriage and fatherhood and Auror work? Is it the forty years where time froze on the verge of remembering? Or is it this: spending a morning in his son's home, feeling like the twenty-four-year-old man he still is in his stunted mind? With the taste of egg yolk on his tongue, he forgets his life in the white room. He forgets to miss the woman he left there.
~oOo~
The Failure of Mind Mending Mixture
After such a promising start, the new Healing potion has finally added a failure among its successes. Retired Auror, Alice Longbottom, has received regular doses of the experimental potion for the past three months. Her husband, Frank Longbottom, and fellow resident of the Janus Thickey Ward, Rebecca Bones, both received the potion in equal quantities, but while their injuries of the mind healed enough for these long-term patients to finally move out of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, Alice Longbottom's condition remained unimproved.
However, this past week, reports of Mrs Longbottom reacting to the potion came flooding in. The effects of the potion have been nothing like what was seen in Mr Longbottom and Mrs Bones. In fact, many St Mungo's Healers anonymously stated that her psyche has only worsened. Many accounts recall seeing Mrs Longbottom restrained to her bed as she struggled violently against her bounds. One anonymous report stated that, though Mrs Longbottom remains silent, she often mouths words with exaggeration as if she wants to shout.
The inventors of Mind Mending Mixture, including Mrs Longbottom's only son, have not yet made any comments on Mrs Longbottom's condition, but our experts at the Daily Prophet theorize that she may be experiencing vivid flashbacks of the trauma that originally damaged her mind.
Mrs Longbottom has been temporarily removed from the Janus Thickey Ward, according to Healer Fionna Dayley. It is not known where in St Mungo's Mrs Longbottom has been moved to or if she remains in the hospital at all.
~oOo~
The memories rip through the wall in Alice's head, shoving them into her mind's eye. There is no image, no sound, no escape. Only pain and hurt and cracks and tears and bruises and scars and stabs and stopstopstopstop.
She feels the hard ground beneath her palm, curling her fingers until they dig below the surface and grab a handful of the rock. It cuts into her flesh until her hand is warm and the dirt as soft as a blanket.
In the blackness, she hears a distant voice. Who? Who? Help! Stay away! Come back! Stay safe!
"Come back to me, Alice."
Frank… She would know his voice anywhere. Her dear husband… What hell is this that he must be here too?
…
Her muted whimpers screech in his head like the loudest Mandrake. The guest room of Neville's home is bathed in the orange light of dawn, another day waking to the image of Frank's wife curled against her bed, duvet flung to the floor, her mouth flung open in a silent scream.
Frank reaches for her hand as it curls into the bed to grab a handful of the sheet, damp with sweat and tears. His fingers nestle into her fist, warming her cold skin.
Her eyelids flutter, and her pale eyes flash into view for one moment. Frank's heart jumps into his throat as he takes in the sight. Forty years it's been since he last saw those eyes.
"Come back to me, Alice."
He bends down, his back creaking in protest, and kisses the back of her hand. Why can she not open her eyes and take in this new world like he has?
~oOo~
Controversial Use of Memory Wiping Potion on St Mungo's Long-term Patient
Alice Longbottom was one of the first spell-damage patients to receive the Mind Mending Mixture, but one of few who was made worse because of it. Since the potion was used experimentally on Frank Longbottom and Rebecca Bones, it has gone on to help many witches and wizards who have suffered traumatic spell damage, despite hesitation after Mrs Longbottom's worsened condition. Since then, only one other patient has experienced similar effects as Mrs Longbottom has. Finn O'Donoghue also suffered from delusions and flashbacks after taking the potion, eventually breaking out of Madam Maniae's House for the Mentally Ill and meeting an unfortunate end.
Since Mr O'Donoghue's tragic demise, concern for ex-Auror Alice Longbottom has grown among the community, especially as her location continued to remain a mystery to the public. Then, just yesterday, many Londoners reported seeing her return to St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, where she had first been given the experimental potion. Since these rumors began, both the staff of St Mungo's and the inventors of Mind Mending Mixture have issued statements concerning the future of Mrs Longbottom.
Despite no longer receiving any doses of Mind Mending Mixture, there have been no improvements of Mrs Longbottom's mental state. After much consideration, her Healers and family members, including her husband—who has regained a normal life since taking the Mind Mending Mixture—and her son—who played a key role in inventing Mind Mending Mixture—have decided to administer a strong memory potion that will erase all of Mrs Longbottom's memories.
This potion has long been considered dark magic, and many have spoken up in protest against its use. Others, however, support the Longbottoms' decision, agreeing with the family that this is the best way to ease Mrs Longbottom's suffering. Discussions are still being had throughout London and throughout Britain, even as the Remember None Potion is planned to be administered later today.
~oOo~
Alice watches as the tall, elderly stranger takes a seat beside her bed. No, not quite a stranger. There is something familiar about him… Yes! This man has been here before, sitting in that very chair in that very spot. When was that? Oh, yes, yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that. And the day before… no, no, that was the first day he came to the white room.
"Hi," he says in a breathy, nervous voice. "Do you remember me?"
She nods, surprised that the simple action brings out a wide smile across the man's face. Name, name, she should know his name. He's introduced himself before. Why can't she remember?
He rambles on about his day, about some boy named Neville and a girl named Hannah and a place called Hogwarts. Alice recognizes the words from the times this man has talked about them before. She finds herself on the verge of being interested in the lives of Neville and Hannah and this nameless man. Perhaps she might even look forward to his next visit. Tomorrow, perhaps?
The man's voice dwindles off as his eyes settle on her. She stares at him in confusion, waiting for him to continue his story, when his hand reaches towards the edge of the bed where her fingers lay.
She pulls back, tucking her hand into her middle. His face drops, but what else could he expect? They have only known each other a few days. Why would he try to hold her hand? Yes, that's right, he's a rather odd man. Alice remembers now. Frank has always been a little odd.
…
Frank returns every day, unsure if he is doing any good. He wants nothing more than to have his wife back, but the memories he tries to jog are no longer in her head. Still, staying away from her bedside seems impossible.
"Hi," he says, as he always does when he sits down on the uncomfortable wooden chair. "Do you remember me?"
She nods, and he feels that same wide smile bloom across his face. She's been giving that affirmative answer for over a week now, but he doubts he will ever take it for granted.
Today is the first day Frank is living on his own. Not completely, of course, but the new school year has begun, so both Neville and Hannah have gone back to Hogwarts. They've explained to him that they will take turns coming home each night to check on him—and Healer Dayley makes a visit every morning—but Frank feels like the man he was before he was admitted to St Mungo's. He explains all this to Alice, pausing to tell her all about Hogwarts and the Houses and the greenhouses that they spent so much time in.
His voice dwindles off as he sees her hand drift towards his, so natural and slow like it used to be. Her fingers are dry and gnarled, but as they rest against his hand, Frank sees past the wrinkles and the white hair and the dark circles beneath her eyes.
This is Alice, no matter what she does or doesn't remember. They are not over yet, and they have many new memories to make.