So What?- (TsunaXReader) Oneshot
Hey.
Are you reading this?
You know that it's me, right?
Do you know my name?
Of course you do,
I'm your friend but am I only your friend?
Yeah, I see you admiring her.
She's pretty
But do you see both us the same way?
Yeah, so she's 'the girl' at school.
So what,
Are you going to ignore me because I don't look like her?
That I don't have her sweet face
Nor the right smile to make you blush?
Or maybe because her untainted,
Innocent personality is the opposite of mine?
Maybe because I'm the opposite of her?
That's right, I don't have a sweet loving brother nor do I care.
Who cares?
I don't have that innocent life she does.
So what?
You can't ignore me;
I'm always there for you.
But do you see me?
The real me?
With my imperfections and personality?
Do you?
You say you do but I can't see that.
Not with the way you treat her and you treat me.
It's unfair but you know,
That's what everybody is saying these days.
Life's unfair.
Are you wondering what I'm going to do now
After you have read this flawed poem of mine?
I'll tell you.
I'm going to be myself.
You heard me.
Yeah, so what if you go after her?
I may wallow in my depression
Or put on a cheerful façade because of you.
Or a miracle: maybe I'll find someone else.
Yeah, go on ahead and think 'That's great'
But that's never going to happen.
Not when I love you.
Not when I'm still there for you.
Not when you're looking for love.
But not my love.
Hers.
So the choice is yours.
Decide.
I can't stop you.
But I can't stop myself.
So go on ahead, chose her.
Who cares?
Ah, that's right.
I do.
[-]
The audience gave her snaps as she waltz down the stage and took her regular seat at the counter of the dimly lighted saloon. Jazz music played in the background as she bathe in unhappiness for a few seconds.
"Great work again [Name]!" the bartender applauded as he slid her a glass of orange juice. "Even though you're underage, here's one on the house!"
and he winked, causing the corners of her mouth to turn upward.
"Thanks Bob, I really appreciate it,"
and she sipped the cold drink. He was cleaning the empty glasses when he asked a question that caught the 15- year old girl off guard.
"[Name], I know you've been coming here for awhile but shouldn't you be at home? Or maybe with your friends?"
Her gaze went to the wooden counter and he patiently waited for a reply. When she looked back up, she opened her mouth, only to be interrupted.
"Excuse me, are you Miss [Name]? I'm an agent from XXX Company and I heard you reciting on stage today. You have a really good voice and we would like to recruit you."
The shady stranger held out a card, only to have it slap out of his grip.
"You're new here, aren't you? Aren't you?" Bob growled. "Well, I guess you weren't here when I announced that [Name] is off limits to contracts. Now get out of here!"
The man took a step back before running full speed out of the building. Regulars in the room mumbled to each other, fully knowing the rule of the owner. [Name] only giggled at her friend's actions.
"Bob, I understand how you're protective and all, but you don't have to go that far!"
Her lecture caused the hefty man to pout.
"I just want to keep you safe from all those wolves out in the world. You can't help it if your voice is wanted. Now don't change the subject: why do you always hang out here? I have to know your reason in order to understand why you're here every week."
The girl across from him gazed down again. Once regaining her courage to speak, she slowly started off her story.
"Well, it's kind of obvious you know, seeing how you listen to my poems every time; it's always about the same subject. I…I like this guy but he likes the idol in our school. She's really pretty and kind. Somehow I feel like I'm not that important to him. B-b-but I know that he cares about his friends and that's the problem; I wonder if I'm only a friend to him."
She felt weight on her head and looks up through her bangs and blurred vision. The understanding smile and gentle pat made her quietly weep from the kindness of her friend.
"Don't worry, don't worry," he reassured. "I'm sure things would sort out one way or another."
[ooooooo]
[Name] left her house the next morning, but a little quieter than usual. She was walking to school when, along the way, she saw a head of spiky light brown hair rushing out of his home, shouting behind himself.
"I'm leaving now!"
The brunette noticed his classmate and slowed down to her side, soon matching her pace.
"Good morning [Name]."
"Hello Sawada- san."
Silence.
[Name] felt the awkwardness between them and thought 'Why am I feeling this way? Is it because that poem I said yesterday is about him?'
"S-so, [Name], um, how have you been?"
She clenched her teeth.
"I'm doing good. And you?"
"F-fine."
Silence.
[Name] looked at the ground while she walked and her hands began to sweat.
'Why is it so hard to talk to him?'
She glanced from the corner of her eyes and saw her companion's nervous face.
'Why is he so uneasy? Did I say something wrong? Or is it just me?'
"Neehh, Sawada- san, are you okay?"
He jumped at her question and waved his hands in protest.
"O-of course I'm fine! Why else wouldn't I-" but before he could finish his sentence, he tripped in an uneven part of the sidewalk.
"T-Tsuna- san? Are you alright?"
The fallen boy looked up at her.
"Pfffttt" he blew out and started laughing. The confused girl stared at him with puzzlement and managed to let out a giggle.
"What's so funny Tsuna- san?"
The male gave her a sheepish smile (and the most sweetest facial expression) and said
"That was the first time you said my first name."
[Name] felt her face heat up with millions of shades of red but smiled.
'Now that's a face I want to be graced with everyday.'
"Oh…I guess it was!"
Once she helped him up and saw his scarlet face when their hands touch, she decided a thought to herself.
'Even though he doesn't have the same feelings that I have for him now, I still have a chance. Maybe…maybe after a while, I'll show him my poem and perhaps…perhaps he might return my feelings.'
AN: Created on 11-21-2010 :3