A/N In honour of this glorious day...
Disclaimer: I don't own KH or its characters. Just this messed up story quickly put together.
"Hey Roxas, you better be careful today."
Said boy, looking up from his bowl of Frosted Flakes, stared at his fraternal twin Sora, and raised an eyebrow.
"Why today?"
The brown-haired adolescent pointed at the calendar behind him.
"It's Friday."
"Yeah? Just any other Summer day."
"It's the 13th."
"I'm not following man." Roxas replied casually, taking another bite out of the pool of soggy corn flakes.
"It's Friday. The 13th. You can put two and two together, bro."
"I don't want that kind of remark from a guy who failed the same math test three times in a row." Roxas shot back.
Sora held up his hands.
"Hey, just looking out for you."
"Anyways, I'm not the kind of guy to believe in superstitions. I'll be fine." Roxas finished, picking up his now empty bowl of cereal and placing it in the sink. He then got his coat and keys and was about to leave the house when Sora came up to him again.
"You better not underestimate the powers of the unknown..." Sora whispered into his ear.
"One thing's for sure, I'm not gonna underestimate your habit of getting physically close to men."
Sora aimed a punch at his head, but his brother was already out the door. He wrinkled his nose.
"Hmph. I'm not gay." Sora grumbled, walking back inside.
"Alright, so I have to pick up my tuxedo from the dry cleaner's, meet Namine go shopping with her, then go to the bank and withdraw some money, buy groceries, and then prepare for the party tonight. It's gonna be great!" Roxas thought to himself, humming a joyful tune as he got into his '98 Honda Civic (1) and inserted the key into the ignition slot. He turned the key, the engine gave a start, and then silence. Roxas stopped humming and gave it another turn. The results were identical to the first try.
"What the...?" Roxas questioned inwardly, when suddenly black smoke came out of the front of the car. The boy immediately jumped out of the vehicle and found out that somehow the every single automotive problem possible had happened all at the same time. Although impossible, Roxas only gave it a head scratch and brushed it off.
"No prob, I'll just take the bike."
He looked to his left, only to see his mountain bike with two popped tires. Apparently, the sudden jerking motion of the car had caused a box full of nails to fall from a shelf and disperse among the garage floor. The nails, due to the force of gravity, made its way to his two-wheeler and deflated the rubber tires.
"Wow. What're the chances of this happening?"
"Hi, I'm Roxas. I'm here to pick up my tuxedo."
"Ah yes, you!" The clerk said with a surprised look on his aged face. He wringed his hands and averted the boy's gaze. He cleared his throat and said,
"There seems to have been...a problem."
"Hm? What kind of problem?"
"Well, I had just hired a new part-time worker, and when he was applying the chemical solvent to the clothes, he mistook the usual solvent for...a kind of acid."
"What kind?"
"...Well, let's say that it's stronger than gastric acid."
Roxas stared at the fidgeting man.
"Why does a dry cleaner's place have something like this?"
"Hey, Namine!"
The blond-haired woman turned her head in the direction of the voice. Roxas gave a smile of contentment. Although things had gotten off at a bad start, being with his long-time girlfriend always cheered him up. He waved at her. She didn't wave back. Once he had caught up to her, he said,
"Hey there! Man, I've had a lousy day so far! You wouldn't BELIEVE it!"
Namine looked at the ground.
"...What's wrong?"
"Roxas...I'm sorry, but your day is going to get worse."
His heart jumped.
"Wait, you don't mean..."
"I'm sorry, but...I'm seeing someone."
"I'm seeing Riku." Namine responded, now looking into his blue shining orbs.
"Wasn't he killed by some random natural occurrence?"
"Apparently not."
"That bastard!" Roxas cursed. (2)
"Alright, insert my bank card, then withdraw the amount." The ATM asked him how much money he wished to withdraw.
"Alright, a...hundred...bucks! There." Roxas murmered to himself as he punched in the numbers.
"ERROR. YOU HAVE EXCEEDED THE WITHDRAWAL LIMIT. PLEASE TRY AGAIN."
"What in the-" He started, but stopped as he punched in a lower number.
"ERROR. YOU HAVE EXCEEDED THE WITHDRAWAL LIMIT. YOU MAY ONLY WITHDRAW UP TO TEN DOLLARS."
"WHAT!" Roxas shouted, causing the people behind him in the line-up to give him a weird look.
The boy fumed, and clutched his head in his hands. Once he had calmed down, he punched in ten on the ATM.
"ERROR. WITHDRAWAL AMOUNT IS TOO LOW. PLEASE PUT IN A HIGHER AMOUNT."
"Are you kidding me!" This time, Roxas smashed his fingers into the machine, making the number twenty appear on the monitor.
"ERROR. YOU HAVE EXCEEDED THE WITHDRAWAL LIMIT. YOU MAY ONLY WITHDRAW UP TO TEN DOLLARS."
"YOU SON OF A-" Roxas screaemd at the top of his lungs. (3)
"You're UNDER ARREST!" A police officer yelled back at him, kicking him in the knees and forcing him to the ground. "You're under arrest for being the prime suspect of the famous bank robber 'The Bloody Mistress'! You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and will be used against you!"
Roxas struggled on the ground, but stopped when he heard the name of the criminal. He gave the police officer a disbelieving look.
"Are. You. Kidding ME!"
Several hours of interrogation, biological tests, dental records, and ID checks later, Roxas was finally proven to be an actual male. By the time he got home, the supermarket was already closed, and the party was cancelled. When Roxas opened the front door, Sora looked up from his newspaper and jumped when he saw his brother.
"Holy cow! You look like you've been through hell and back!"
Instead of telling him of the events that had transpired today, Roxas asked him,
"Hey, do you still have your horseshoes that you use for throwing?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Let me borrow them."
A/N Now in Low Quality! Please R&R! ^^
-Notes-
The Honda Civic was known for being an outstanding car in terms of reliability and durability. It was a highly recommended cars for blue-collar families who did not have a great deal of money saved. Which makes it even stranger as to how this car instantly self-destructed.
Two words: Kenny McCormick.
This actually happened to me at the bank. I was all like "WTF" and the security guard was like "STFU". Prick. .