Confidence and Courage
By Felicia
Summary: She s the bravest person he knows, but is she brave enough to risk her heart? I've written for several other fandoms, but this is my first Castle fic. Song inspired, not a songfic. One shot. I hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I am borrowing both the characters from Castle as well as the songs. I intend no harm nor claim any monetary gain.
Spoilers: Takes place in season 4 post Blue Butterfly. Also this extrapolates statements and actions that weren t shown in the episodes but I like to think probably occurred.
Author s Note: This is what comes out of a rather surreal juxtaposition of Christina Perri s Jar of Hearts and the Texas Geico commercial featuring Wrinkle Neck Mules Central Daylight Time. Yeah, I know: weird! :-)
"Who do you think you are, running round leaving scars, collecting your jar of hearts and tearing love apart? You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul...Who do you think you are?" -Christina Perri
"If I could separate what's real from what I've been dreamin' , I could live to fight another day." -Wrinkle Neck Mules
It wouldn't have surprised him one bit to know that she had been contemplating them. He's noticed things lately. Little things, but those things are billboard-sized advertisements where Kate Beckett is concerned.
It would have surprised her to know that just as she was contemplating them, he was contemplating reality. Fantasy, yes, she would expect that since he was a writer and spent a great majority of his so-called adult life in his head and on the page. But reality? She noticed what he had noticed - what he would have told her to notice if he weren t certain she would throw him out and not speak to him for a week. Somewhere along the line the eye rolls and patronizing acceptance of his wildly outlandish theories had disappeared replaced by soft smiles and quick but genuine laughs.
And it was the replacement of the former by the latter that led to his current contemplation of reality. Were these changes marks of a softening of Kate Beckett? A melting of the ice of pain and fear that had encased her for so many years? Or were these little things yet another example of his wild imagination fantasizing what he longed to see occur?
She knew they had turned a page, but there was no date or action or word that she could pin to the change. It had just happened and for someone who made her living by her skills of observation, that knowledge was a tad disconcerting. There was no initial chip in the wall she could identify. Instead there was merely a sudden pooling at the base. It was as if the wall she had built was not crumbing but melting. The question now became how much remained and what would she do about it?
He knew she had heard him on that day. It was in the hesitations of her denial of recall. It was in the glances away when he caught her staring at him a little too long. It was in the sharp inhales when their hands touched. But he also knew that she was not impulsive. She was a risk-taker, yes. Her every day in the field proved that, yet those risks were always well thought-out, even in a split second, to the ultimate end. She needed time to process all the ramifications of his declaration and to separate the job from the emotion. He didn't mind the wait. After all, he had been waiting for her his entire life even if he only recognized it the night she walked into his last book signing for Derek Storm.
So the proverbial ball was in her court. She had told Dr. Burke the truth when she finally admitted that, yes, she believed Castle would wait for her and that she wasn't afraid of that eventuality. However, how much longer did she want to wait? How much more confidence in him and courage in herself did she need to take the next step? Her hand brushed against the venti coffee cup still warm with the vanilla latte he brought every morning and she glanced over at him. He met her eyes and raised his eyebrows asking a thousand and one questions and providing a thousand and one assurances and she decided the waiting was over. So there in the bull pen, seated in their customary places, she took up the ice pick and with a determined intake of breath, plunged it into the wall: "Hey, Castle, you know what? I love you, too."
As the words washed over him, melting him with their warmth, a slow smile spread across his face. She was the bravest person he knew and with those words his fantasy had become their reality.
Fin
Thoughts?