Chapter 1
You will never know true happiness
until you have truly loved,
and you will never understand
what pain really is
until you have lost it.
-Anonymous
Black eyes as beautiful as the sky over the sea after a storm, and as dark as the brooding night. Taut lips pulled into an unreadable expression as he surveyed the horror before him, the vision of a young man being beaten by foul men in black robes and masks. He was in the same attire, though not the same. An acquaintance of his would say that he was the cruelest man of all. But he wasn't, not really. It was all an act. An act to save lives, including his own.
He was cruel to his students and many of the people he knew. His lips would be constantly molded into a sneer, and his eyes reflecting the air of a cruel man. Maybe he was a horrible man, but not half as horrible as the men in front of him.
The dark orbs that shone into his soul were blocked off. Blocked off by unhappiness and loneliness. But that was the way he preferred it.
Alone. A word he wished would always define him. This man did not crave to be liked or loved, nor did he want to be. He did not deserve it anyway. The things he had done in his past were enough to make a reserved man like he cringe, and he hoped he was the only one who knew of them.
But he had grown. Grown and changed into a new man with good morality and scruples. He had chosen the path of good and departed from the evil. Though there he stood encircled by men that he once was, men that believed him to be apart of their circle. However, in a way he was, but only in the physical sense.
Months of excruciating pain he had experienced, suffering he had went through for his world. The wizarding world. The job as a double agent was not very easy, what with covering up the happenings of the school, Hogwarts, where the Boy-Who-Lived resided. The Dark Lord craved for the boy to be dead. One of them must die for the other to live on. And his job was to prevent the evil to overcome and live.
A very confusing ordeal he had gotten himself into, but it was worth it. Albus Dumbledore deserved every ounce of his effort and care. The man who had forgiven him and had taken him under his wing. The old geezer who had given him a job at Hogwarts, despite his past as a Death Eater. Albus was like a father to him, and even though he was anything but jolly toward him, he still respected the old man.
A piercing scream was heard as the men performed the worst unforgivable curse upon the muggleborn. His facial expression remained impassive, as a Death Eater dragged the limp man away. One slip of his demeanor and it would cost him his life.
The Dark Lord let out a high, cold laugh as the others joined in. The man did not laugh, though this was natural for him.
"Well done!" the scratchy, high voice shouted. "You who participated will be rewarded for your deed," the cloaked heads nodded in approval and grins gleamed under them. "However, those who didn't," the Dark Lord turned to the group of men in which the man was standing, "will be punished."
Before any of group could speak, the Dark Lord whipped his wand out and yelled one of the most painful unforgivable curses. The men dropped to the ground, twisting in agony as the others watched with glee.
"You will participate next time, I trust," he said quietly as he circled the writhing bodies. "However," he added as he stopped in front of the onyx, shoulder-length haired man, "some of you have failed to bring information of happenings at Hogwarts. Therefore, you shall be reprimanded with much more torture."
The man held his throbbing chest as he looked up into the blood red eyes of the creature in front of him, his deep, resonate voice said ,"My lord, he has refused to inform me-"
Before he could finish, the Dark Lord cast Crucio on him again, causing the man to crumble to the ground for a second time. The other men crowded around, showing their supreme delight.
"Thrash him," the Dark Lord simply said in a cold voice.
As he turned to walk away, the sounds of kicking and knifes being slashed out from robes were heard. The man did not scream out as they cut and bruised him with their fists, booted feet and weapons. He was strong and had been in shoddier situations. Knives were slashed across his chest, his ribs cracked as the men kicked him with all their strength, and his face swelled up as they punched him insensible.
A few minutes went by and the Dark Lord strode over to see his men's work. The man lay crumpled on the ground in his black robes, soaked with blood, as he lay unaware with his bruised eyelids flickering open.
"You have failed me so many times," the Dark Lord spoke. "And I don't think this will suffice," he looked to the men, "Cast four Crucio's, I think that will instruct him as to where his loyalties lie."
A tall man with pale skin and gray eyes stood forward and said, "My lord, that would surely kill him."
The Dark Lord raised a brow, "You have a point. But it is hard to kill a man like Severus Snape. Make it six curses."
The gray-eyed man bowed and returned to the circle around the crumpled heap of black robes, and raised his wand, which was destined to kill the man bundled on the ground.
It was dark in the corridors. Darker than usual. No ghosts were floating through the walls like they usually did on a daily basis. A girl emerged from around a corner, though proving to be a tall shapely woman. Her dark chestnut tresses reached to her shoulders and hazel eyes were accented by the moonlight that shone through the huge glass window. She stopped before it and gazed at the cream-colored moon, noting with her enlightened eyes how the valleys and craters were shadowed. It was an evil moon tonight.
"Ah, Jocelyn!" the gleeful voice startled her, causing her to jump back from the window like a child that had just found her Christmas presents but had gotten caught. "How are you?"
Her bright hazel eyes gleamed as she smiled at the headmaster. "Very well, thank you. And yourself?"
Albus Dumbledore's fragile form stopped in front of her and took her soft hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Never better, never better," Jocelyn smiled, her white teeth shining brightly. "However, I am quite worried as to why you are out so late, it is nearly midnight!"
She laughed and squeezed his frail, little hand back. "But you are out as well, Headmaster."
Albus took his hand to his beard and stroked it, "Ah, is there nothing more magnificent than to wander the halls so late at night, giving me the feeling of youth once again."
Jocelyn smiled at his cute fib. "What are you really doing?"
Albus' eyes twinkled, "Well, it seems our dear Potions Master has not returned from his meeting yet, therefore I am taking his place at searching the halls for mischievous children."
Jocelyn laughed and said, "How about I do it, Headmaster? I have been having trouble sleeping and find walking through the corridors incredibly relaxing."
Albus nodded in agreement. "Very well. Just don't fall asleep on the job!"
She smiled warmly as he winked at her. He then pivoted around and headed back to the gargoyle that guarded his office.
Wonder what kind of meeting Snape is at, she thought dryly as to cloud her mind with thoughts to help her stay awake.
"Perhaps a "Knit Your Own Jumpers" meeting," she mumbled to herself jokingly. "Or a reading session where he reads books to little children."
She laughed out loud in glee as she humored herself with the picture of Severus Snape sitting in a chair reading to little kids, clad in a shirt that stated "I Love Children." She was having way too much fun. But then a picture of him topless sprouted into her mind. She noted his taut abs and formed muscles but shook her head instantly after that. Where the hell did that come from? She asked herself wildly. Jocelyn knew she liked him as a colleague . . . perhaps even a friend. But she wasn't too sure on that. She remembered the first time she laid eyes on him. Amazingly, she found herself instantly attracted to him. Jocelyn always had a thing for rugged features and sarcastic bad boys. And he was just that. Hm, she thought, maybe I do like him a lot. The first time she actually talked to him was a catastrophe. She hated him. But soon after, she started to feel herself clinging to him in a perplexing way. Whenever she was in the same room as him, her eyes would somehow move to his face without her knowing it. Well, at least until he looked back at her, then she would flush with embarrassment and continue with what she was doing. Which proved to be more difficult than she thought it would be. He would still be wedged into her mind.
Soon enough, she had actually talked to him. That day at lunch when Madame Hooch took Jocelyn's accustomed spot next to Dumbledore. . . . . .
iFlashbacki
Jocelyn Emma Harley strode into the Great Hall, her stomach gurgling as she walked along. It had been a long day and she was definitely in the mood for a huge plate of food. Students had refused to stop talking in the library and a bookcase had ended up collapsing because of a boy named Neville. But it wasn't too hard to clean up.
As she approached the table, she realized that Madame Hooch had taken her spot that she had been sitting in for the first few weeks. Unfortunately, the last seat that was available to her was the one next the man that she had still not conversed with yet. She stood there and stared at the spot, debating on whether to skip breakfast . . . or just sit there and eat a troublesome meal.
She didn't notice Severus' eyes on her until she aloofly turned her gaze to him. His cryptic, onyx eyes bore into her own meek copper ones. Jocelyn pulled her gaze away almost instantly. That was the first time he had looked at her so substantially. It felt like his eyes were seeing right into her soul, reading her every thought, even though it was only a few short seconds. She dared herself to look again, and without thinking about the dangerous challenge, she did it anyway. Fortunately, he was deep in conversation with Dumbledore, who sat to his left.
Jocelyn's stomach growled louder causing her to moan quietly in dissatisfaction.
"Well," she thought. "I'll have to get this over with sooner or later."
As she straightened up her stance, she walked with profound dignity toward her seat, looking at anyone and anything but the Potions Master. Jocelyn conversed greetings with most of the staff as she pulled the large mahogany chair from under the table. She sat herself down with placidity and pulled a dish of scrambled eggs toward her empty plate. The speaking of Severus and Dumbledore at her side assured her that he was not staring, so she plopped a large heap of the food onto her plate. As she did this, she noted how the headmaster did most of the talking, and how Severus had chaste replies.
When she had finished her over sized meal, Jocelyn downed a glass of milk and was about to get up when she heard her spoon clatter to the floor. She determined that she must have not set it on the table adequately and it had lost its balance. Jocelyn glanced at Severus as he turned from his glass of pumpkin juice to her. He did not offer his help and lean down to get it, but merely arched a brow at her as if she were a mere clumsy adolescent. Jocelyn frowned at him as he turned back to his drink and she leaned down to retrieve the fallen object.
As she threw it back onto the table, she sardonically said, "Thanks."
With his slender hand wrapped around the glass, he silkily replied, "Your welcome."
Jocelyn glared at his pompous, pale face and sat back down again. "I knew you could talk."
He brought his hooked nose down, as if looking at her over imaginary glasses. It was clearly a glare.
"Indeed," he droned as he fully brought his gaze to her face, "Miss. Harley?"
"Yes," she answered simply, still glaring at him. "I took Madame Pince's place in the Library when she retired."
He nodded and turned back to his drink. "What sort of books do you find diverting?"
She certainly was not expecting that, "Oh, classics, philosophy, romance."
Severus turned his gaze to her on the last one, "Just as I would have thought."
Jocelyn glared at him again, "And why do you say that, Professor Snape?"
Severus arched an eyebrow, "Surely you know that reading such nonsense shows nothing but the readers' depravity of the emotion reflected in the romance."
Jocelyn's eyes glittered dangerously, but Severus was not in the least troubled. "I have never been so insulted in my entire life!"
Severus smirked at her and droned, "It's early yet, Miss. Harley."
And with that said he fluidly stood, his black robes fluttering in his wake as he exited the Great Hall.
IEnd flashbackI)
Sure it had been an unpleasant conversation, but if it were not so, Jocelyn would probably still be on non-speaking terms with him. And so that was how their conversations progressed. One insults the other, the other retorts, then the other throws it back again. This is was Jocelyn was used to. Until that one day in Diagon Alley . . .
IFlashbackI
Diagon Alley was the busiest most crowded town Jocelyn had ever been in. She remembered it when she used to attend Hogwarts, but it seemed even more buzzing that usual. The third years and up were walking in front of her as Severus followed from far away. She knew he hated attending Diagon Alley trips and was delighted that he was so displeasured.
As they entered the alley, the students hurried off in every way, excited to see the stores and shops. The boys huddled around the window to the Quidditch shop, admiring the new Thunderbolt, and the girls scurried off to clothes and bookshops to buy new teen romances and t-shirts. While all of the students did to their liking, Jocelyn strode off toward The Three Broomsticks, ready to down a few bottles of Butterbeer.
As she entered the warm bar, a pretty lady behind the counter greeted her. "Hello, Jocelyn!"
Jocelyn turned her chestnut colored head to her good friend, Madame Rosmerta. She waved back with a smile and turned to the packed room full of students and wizarding folk. She noted with amazement that all the tables were taken, except for a two-seater in the corner. She headed off to it, swerving around people and tables, urgent to sit down from the fairly long walk. After she took her seat and removed her coat, Madame Rosmerta walked over in record time with two butterbeers in both of her hands, expertly avoiding chairs that backed out quickly. When she arrived, she plopped one down in front of Jocelyn, some of the liquid flowing over the glass. She gave her a wink.
"It seems someone needs a place to sit," she said merrily. "So I think Professor Snape will be comfortable over here with you."
She set the other glass down across from Jocelyn and moved, revealing a heavily cloaked man. Severus hair was tousled about from the autumn wind outside and she couldn't help but approve. But when she noted the scowl on his face, she moved from an indifferent face to a scowl of her own. Severus took his seat reluctantly and took a swig from his glass.
"Are you sure you don't want a glass of fire whiskey?" Madame Rosmerta asked politely as she started to wipe down the newly, emptied table next to them.
"No, not while I'm on the job," he said as he started to scowl at his atmosphere.
"That's when I like it best," Jocelyn joked from behind her butterbeer and she took a sip.
Severus turned his head to her quickly and glowered, but didn't speak. They sat there for a while, sipping their drinks while sneaking glares at each other. On and on the sitting went, becoming more unnerving. Jocelyn noticed that Severus had started to reroute his attention to the other people surrounding them. Noting that he wasn't watching her, she grabbed her handbag that matched her summer white dress and took out a magazine with a cauldron on the front. She started to flip through it, finding the place that she had left off with. Sitting herself in a more comfortable position, she threw the magazine down onto the table to tie her hair back. She grabbed her chestnut wavy locks and pulled it back into a high ponytail, leaving a few strands to dangle by her tan face. Jocelyn knew he was probably watching her, but refused to glance his way as she picked up her magazine.
"I find it surprising that you read 'Potions Weekly'."
Jocelyn almost choked on her drink as she set it down. She didn't know why his voice surprised her so. "Ah well, I just read it for the articles."
Severus arched a black brow at her as he brought his hands up to rest under his chin, gazing right into Jocelyn's hazel eyes. "You are unusually sarcastic for a woman of your . . . looks."
If that was a compliment, which she was sure it wasn't, it was a bizarre way putting it. Then again, everything about this cynical man was odd.
"You are very chatty, Professor Snape," she said, knowing very well he wasn't. "What is it you want from me?"
He surprised her with a deep, sensual chuckle, which seemed to swim through her very blood. Jocelyn couldn't help but love his profound, corporeal voice. Every time he talked during a staff meeting or in a loud corridor, she knew it because of the slight rumble through the air and if he was close enough, he could vibrate her body.
"I am merely striking up a pleasant conversation," he replied when he stopped his brief chortle.
Jocelyn couldn't help but flirt with the man, his black eyes drawing her into their depths to lock her there forever, "Who said it was pleasant, Professor?"
She saw his lip curl a fraction of an inch, "You try my patience, Miss. Harley. But your retorts draw me in, nonetheless."
She draws him in, does she? Well, let's reel him in a bit further. Jocelyn took her top jacket and unzipped it, revealing her upper regions, which were covered except her arms and upper chest.
"It is a bit hot in here," she said truthfully, the conversation really was scorching her.
Severus arched a brow at her, glancing only discreetly at her chest, "Indeed."
His heated gaze was bothering her so she pulled her magazine back to her. She had reeled in a poisonous fish . . . time to set him free. Jocelyn realized that not only was she attracted to the man, but his enigmatic personality was alluring as well.
"So, what do you think of that new sandalwood potion?" she asked quickly, realizing the silence.
The rest of their evening consisted of discussing new potions, new ideas for remedies and well-liked literature. Jocelyn realized that the man was a mastermind. He knew everything. And that made him even more irresistible to her. And liking a man so quickly was unusual for her.
I Flashback Ends I
And so it's been like that ever since. Jocelyn admiring his beauty and intelligence from afar. Well, afar in the way that they didn't intimately get together. There were times when she thought he felt the same way, but just assumed that he had no idea of her affections, and if he did, he probably didn't care. Though he was kind to her. They talked at meals and got together in his quarters to discuss books and other things. But someone always accompanied them. Albus usually came along, always leaving early, hoping to get them together. Though Jocelyn never felt comfortable with him when they were alone. It was intimidating to have him look at her in that certain, stripping way. But she liked him; there was no doubt about that.
Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a loud noise. She jumped and looked up, her gaze resting upon a man strewn across the floor, his black robes strewn about his lithe body. Jocelyn ran over to him, not sure who he was yet, but when she saw his black silky locks, she was sure it was Severus. Her breath caught in her throat as she gently flipped him over onto his back. Cuts and abrasions were strewn across his face, which was pulled upwards in a expression of pain. She leaned over and spoke his name loudly, hoping that he wasn't unconscious like she thought he was. But his lack of any movement made her worry even more. Jocelyn brushed his dank hair from his face and pulled her wand out of her white robes. There was already a pool of blood around his form making it hard for her to breathe at all. She was scared to death that he was dead. But she didn't waste another minute thinking about that as she charmed his body to lift up into the air. She floated him as quick as she could to the hospital wing, hoping Madame Pomfrey was back from her meeting in Diagon Alley. As she gently, but quickly, lowered him onto the metal-grate hospital bed she hurriedly ran around the Infirmary. Madame Pomfrey was nowhere to be found, and her assistant was taking a holiday. She felt even more scared.
Jocelyn ran over to the cabinet of potions and opened it, amazed that it had no wards. She pulled out a bottle of Awakening Potion, hoping it would help him come back to consciousness. As she hurried over to his side, she noticed the tears that were streaming down her face, soaking her rosy cheeks. Jocelyn tilted his head back with some difficulty and pried his firm mouth open with her thumb and forefinger. As soon as she had it open, she poured a generous amount of the potion down his throat, rubbing it gently to help it go down. In about five seconds his lids opened wearily and she heard him moan gently. The tears seemed to fall faster.
Without asking, she removed his clothing until he lay in mere black boxers. She cried out as she gazed upon his slashed and bruised chest, legs and arms. His face was fairly bruised to, and his jaw seemed to sit awkwardly. Jocelyn supposed it was broken. Well aware of a few simple spells, she started to clean his cuts and close them. His bruises were already a dark black and green, but the ointment she found in the cabinet reduced the color, and she hoped, the pain as well. As she worked on his beaten body, she saw his black eyes glittering from under half closed eyelids. If he were not hurt so badly, she was sure he would push her away and refuse her help. Though now, he understood that his injuries needed to be fixed before any other complications occurred.
Jocelyn was certain that she should go and alert the headmaster, but she could not bring herself from his side. Plus, he still had some broken ribs that she fortunately knew how to mend. When she had finished curing him to the best of her ability and knowledge, his closed eyes and slow breathing gave evidence that he had fallen asleep during her medical aid. When she was sure he was well enough to be by himself, she was about to go inform the headmaster, but realized he had already arrived with Madame Pomfrey at his side.
Jocelyn gasped as she saw them at the doorway, "How did you -?"
"Dobby had seen you bringing Severus up here, and he was sure Professor Snape was injured badly, so I called for Madame Pomfrey immediately," Albus said, the usual twinkle in his eyes distinguished slightly.
Madame Pomfrey was already checking up on Severus when Jocelyn turned to look back at his peacefully sleeping form, "I see you have done some of the minor cures, and I'm sure if you had not awoken him, he would no longer be with us."
The last thing brought tears to Jocelyn's eyes as she checked more of Severus with her wand. The tip shone a bright red over his heart, indicating that it was not working properly.
"Oh dear," Madame Pomfrey whispered to herself. "We must get him to St. Mungo's at once!"
Dumbledore quickly said, "I expected as much. I will go make the necessary arrangements," he turned to Jocelyn, "as for you. I advise you to get some rest. You may see Severus tomorrow, if you wish. Though he might . . . not make it through the night."
Jocelyn's tears became waterfalls and she was almost wailing. "I want to come. I want to be with him."
Madame Pomfrey agreed with Dumbledore, "Deary, I think you should stay here and get some rest. It will do you no good to stay in St. Mungo's all night, worrying."
"NO!" Jocelyn almost screamed. "I want to go. If he is dying I want to be there with him. I don't want to lose him!"
Madame Pomfrey's eyes widened as she heard this, but Albus didn't seem in the least bit surprised.
"Jocelyn, you must stay. If you go and he dies then it will be even more agonizing for you," Albus said in an amazingly strong voice. "Now we are wasting time. If you want Severus to be in the hospital sooner, you will retreat to your room, now!"
Jocelyn started to cry even harder, and she gave Severus lithe form one last look before she weakly dragged herself from the room.
You will never know true happiness
until you have truly loved,
and you will never understand
what pain really is
until you have lost it.
-Anonymous
Black eyes as beautiful as the sky over the sea after a storm, and as dark as the brooding night. Taut lips pulled into an unreadable expression as he surveyed the horror before him, the vision of a young man being beaten by foul men in black robes and masks. He was in the same attire, though not the same. An acquaintance of his would say that he was the cruelest man of all. But he wasn't, not really. It was all an act. An act to save lives, including his own.
He was cruel to his students and many of the people he knew. His lips would be constantly molded into a sneer, and his eyes reflecting the air of a cruel man. Maybe he was a horrible man, but not half as horrible as the men in front of him.
The dark orbs that shone into his soul were blocked off. Blocked off by unhappiness and loneliness. But that was the way he preferred it.
Alone. A word he wished would always define him. This man did not crave to be liked or loved, nor did he want to be. He did not deserve it anyway. The things he had done in his past were enough to make a reserved man like he cringe, and he hoped he was the only one who knew of them.
But he had grown. Grown and changed into a new man with good morality and scruples. He had chosen the path of good and departed from the evil. Though there he stood encircled by men that he once was, men that believed him to be apart of their circle. However, in a way he was, but only in the physical sense.
Months of excruciating pain he had experienced, suffering he had went through for his world. The wizarding world. The job as a double agent was not very easy, what with covering up the happenings of the school, Hogwarts, where the Boy-Who-Lived resided. The Dark Lord craved for the boy to be dead. One of them must die for the other to live on. And his job was to prevent the evil to overcome and live.
A very confusing ordeal he had gotten himself into, but it was worth it. Albus Dumbledore deserved every ounce of his effort and care. The man who had forgiven him and had taken him under his wing. The old geezer who had given him a job at Hogwarts, despite his past as a Death Eater. Albus was like a father to him, and even though he was anything but jolly toward him, he still respected the old man.
A piercing scream was heard as the men performed the worst unforgivable curse upon the muggleborn. His facial expression remained impassive, as a Death Eater dragged the limp man away. One slip of his demeanor and it would cost him his life.
The Dark Lord let out a high, cold laugh as the others joined in. The man did not laugh, though this was natural for him.
"Well done!" the scratchy, high voice shouted. "You who participated will be rewarded for your deed," the cloaked heads nodded in approval and grins gleamed under them. "However, those who didn't," the Dark Lord turned to the group of men in which the man was standing, "will be punished."
Before any of group could speak, the Dark Lord whipped his wand out and yelled one of the most painful unforgivable curses. The men dropped to the ground, twisting in agony as the others watched with glee.
"You will participate next time, I trust," he said quietly as he circled the writhing bodies. "However," he added as he stopped in front of the onyx, shoulder-length haired man, "some of you have failed to bring information of happenings at Hogwarts. Therefore, you shall be reprimanded with much more torture."
The man held his throbbing chest as he looked up into the blood red eyes of the creature in front of him, his deep, resonate voice said ,"My lord, he has refused to inform me-"
Before he could finish, the Dark Lord cast Crucio on him again, causing the man to crumble to the ground for a second time. The other men crowded around, showing their supreme delight.
"Thrash him," the Dark Lord simply said in a cold voice.
As he turned to walk away, the sounds of kicking and knifes being slashed out from robes were heard. The man did not scream out as they cut and bruised him with their fists, booted feet and weapons. He was strong and had been in shoddier situations. Knives were slashed across his chest, his ribs cracked as the men kicked him with all their strength, and his face swelled up as they punched him insensible.
A few minutes went by and the Dark Lord strode over to see his men's work. The man lay crumpled on the ground in his black robes, soaked with blood, as he lay unaware with his bruised eyelids flickering open.
"You have failed me so many times," the Dark Lord spoke. "And I don't think this will suffice," he looked to the men, "Cast four Crucio's, I think that will instruct him as to where his loyalties lie."
A tall man with pale skin and gray eyes stood forward and said, "My lord, that would surely kill him."
The Dark Lord raised a brow, "You have a point. But it is hard to kill a man like Severus Snape. Make it six curses."
The gray-eyed man bowed and returned to the circle around the crumpled heap of black robes, and raised his wand, which was destined to kill the man bundled on the ground.
It was dark in the corridors. Darker than usual. No ghosts were floating through the walls like they usually did on a daily basis. A girl emerged from around a corner, though proving to be a tall shapely woman. Her dark chestnut tresses reached to her shoulders and hazel eyes were accented by the moonlight that shone through the huge glass window. She stopped before it and gazed at the cream-colored moon, noting with her enlightened eyes how the valleys and craters were shadowed. It was an evil moon tonight.
"Ah, Jocelyn!" the gleeful voice startled her, causing her to jump back from the window like a child that had just found her Christmas presents but had gotten caught. "How are you?"
Her bright hazel eyes gleamed as she smiled at the headmaster. "Very well, thank you. And yourself?"
Albus Dumbledore's fragile form stopped in front of her and took her soft hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Never better, never better," Jocelyn smiled, her white teeth shining brightly. "However, I am quite worried as to why you are out so late, it is nearly midnight!"
She laughed and squeezed his frail, little hand back. "But you are out as well, Headmaster."
Albus took his hand to his beard and stroked it, "Ah, is there nothing more magnificent than to wander the halls so late at night, giving me the feeling of youth once again."
Jocelyn smiled at his cute fib. "What are you really doing?"
Albus' eyes twinkled, "Well, it seems our dear Potions Master has not returned from his meeting yet, therefore I am taking his place at searching the halls for mischievous children."
Jocelyn laughed and said, "How about I do it, Headmaster? I have been having trouble sleeping and find walking through the corridors incredibly relaxing."
Albus nodded in agreement. "Very well. Just don't fall asleep on the job!"
She smiled warmly as he winked at her. He then pivoted around and headed back to the gargoyle that guarded his office.
Wonder what kind of meeting Snape is at, she thought dryly as to cloud her mind with thoughts to help her stay awake.
"Perhaps a "Knit Your Own Jumpers" meeting," she mumbled to herself jokingly. "Or a reading session where he reads books to little children."
She laughed out loud in glee as she humored herself with the picture of Severus Snape sitting in a chair reading to little kids, clad in a shirt that stated "I Love Children." She was having way too much fun. But then a picture of him topless sprouted into her mind. She noted his taut abs and formed muscles but shook her head instantly after that. Where the hell did that come from? She asked herself wildly. Jocelyn knew she liked him as a colleague . . . perhaps even a friend. But she wasn't too sure on that. She remembered the first time she laid eyes on him. Amazingly, she found herself instantly attracted to him. Jocelyn always had a thing for rugged features and sarcastic bad boys. And he was just that. Hm, she thought, maybe I do like him a lot. The first time she actually talked to him was a catastrophe. She hated him. But soon after, she started to feel herself clinging to him in a perplexing way. Whenever she was in the same room as him, her eyes would somehow move to his face without her knowing it. Well, at least until he looked back at her, then she would flush with embarrassment and continue with what she was doing. Which proved to be more difficult than she thought it would be. He would still be wedged into her mind.
Soon enough, she had actually talked to him. That day at lunch when Madame Hooch took Jocelyn's accustomed spot next to Dumbledore. . . . . .
iFlashbacki
Jocelyn Emma Harley strode into the Great Hall, her stomach gurgling as she walked along. It had been a long day and she was definitely in the mood for a huge plate of food. Students had refused to stop talking in the library and a bookcase had ended up collapsing because of a boy named Neville. But it wasn't too hard to clean up.
As she approached the table, she realized that Madame Hooch had taken her spot that she had been sitting in for the first few weeks. Unfortunately, the last seat that was available to her was the one next the man that she had still not conversed with yet. She stood there and stared at the spot, debating on whether to skip breakfast . . . or just sit there and eat a troublesome meal.
She didn't notice Severus' eyes on her until she aloofly turned her gaze to him. His cryptic, onyx eyes bore into her own meek copper ones. Jocelyn pulled her gaze away almost instantly. That was the first time he had looked at her so substantially. It felt like his eyes were seeing right into her soul, reading her every thought, even though it was only a few short seconds. She dared herself to look again, and without thinking about the dangerous challenge, she did it anyway. Fortunately, he was deep in conversation with Dumbledore, who sat to his left.
Jocelyn's stomach growled louder causing her to moan quietly in dissatisfaction.
"Well," she thought. "I'll have to get this over with sooner or later."
As she straightened up her stance, she walked with profound dignity toward her seat, looking at anyone and anything but the Potions Master. Jocelyn conversed greetings with most of the staff as she pulled the large mahogany chair from under the table. She sat herself down with placidity and pulled a dish of scrambled eggs toward her empty plate. The speaking of Severus and Dumbledore at her side assured her that he was not staring, so she plopped a large heap of the food onto her plate. As she did this, she noted how the headmaster did most of the talking, and how Severus had chaste replies.
When she had finished her over sized meal, Jocelyn downed a glass of milk and was about to get up when she heard her spoon clatter to the floor. She determined that she must have not set it on the table adequately and it had lost its balance. Jocelyn glanced at Severus as he turned from his glass of pumpkin juice to her. He did not offer his help and lean down to get it, but merely arched a brow at her as if she were a mere clumsy adolescent. Jocelyn frowned at him as he turned back to his drink and she leaned down to retrieve the fallen object.
As she threw it back onto the table, she sardonically said, "Thanks."
With his slender hand wrapped around the glass, he silkily replied, "Your welcome."
Jocelyn glared at his pompous, pale face and sat back down again. "I knew you could talk."
He brought his hooked nose down, as if looking at her over imaginary glasses. It was clearly a glare.
"Indeed," he droned as he fully brought his gaze to her face, "Miss. Harley?"
"Yes," she answered simply, still glaring at him. "I took Madame Pince's place in the Library when she retired."
He nodded and turned back to his drink. "What sort of books do you find diverting?"
She certainly was not expecting that, "Oh, classics, philosophy, romance."
Severus turned his gaze to her on the last one, "Just as I would have thought."
Jocelyn glared at him again, "And why do you say that, Professor Snape?"
Severus arched an eyebrow, "Surely you know that reading such nonsense shows nothing but the readers' depravity of the emotion reflected in the romance."
Jocelyn's eyes glittered dangerously, but Severus was not in the least troubled. "I have never been so insulted in my entire life!"
Severus smirked at her and droned, "It's early yet, Miss. Harley."
And with that said he fluidly stood, his black robes fluttering in his wake as he exited the Great Hall.
IEnd flashbackI)
Sure it had been an unpleasant conversation, but if it were not so, Jocelyn would probably still be on non-speaking terms with him. And so that was how their conversations progressed. One insults the other, the other retorts, then the other throws it back again. This is was Jocelyn was used to. Until that one day in Diagon Alley . . .
IFlashbackI
Diagon Alley was the busiest most crowded town Jocelyn had ever been in. She remembered it when she used to attend Hogwarts, but it seemed even more buzzing that usual. The third years and up were walking in front of her as Severus followed from far away. She knew he hated attending Diagon Alley trips and was delighted that he was so displeasured.
As they entered the alley, the students hurried off in every way, excited to see the stores and shops. The boys huddled around the window to the Quidditch shop, admiring the new Thunderbolt, and the girls scurried off to clothes and bookshops to buy new teen romances and t-shirts. While all of the students did to their liking, Jocelyn strode off toward The Three Broomsticks, ready to down a few bottles of Butterbeer.
As she entered the warm bar, a pretty lady behind the counter greeted her. "Hello, Jocelyn!"
Jocelyn turned her chestnut colored head to her good friend, Madame Rosmerta. She waved back with a smile and turned to the packed room full of students and wizarding folk. She noted with amazement that all the tables were taken, except for a two-seater in the corner. She headed off to it, swerving around people and tables, urgent to sit down from the fairly long walk. After she took her seat and removed her coat, Madame Rosmerta walked over in record time with two butterbeers in both of her hands, expertly avoiding chairs that backed out quickly. When she arrived, she plopped one down in front of Jocelyn, some of the liquid flowing over the glass. She gave her a wink.
"It seems someone needs a place to sit," she said merrily. "So I think Professor Snape will be comfortable over here with you."
She set the other glass down across from Jocelyn and moved, revealing a heavily cloaked man. Severus hair was tousled about from the autumn wind outside and she couldn't help but approve. But when she noted the scowl on his face, she moved from an indifferent face to a scowl of her own. Severus took his seat reluctantly and took a swig from his glass.
"Are you sure you don't want a glass of fire whiskey?" Madame Rosmerta asked politely as she started to wipe down the newly, emptied table next to them.
"No, not while I'm on the job," he said as he started to scowl at his atmosphere.
"That's when I like it best," Jocelyn joked from behind her butterbeer and she took a sip.
Severus turned his head to her quickly and glowered, but didn't speak. They sat there for a while, sipping their drinks while sneaking glares at each other. On and on the sitting went, becoming more unnerving. Jocelyn noticed that Severus had started to reroute his attention to the other people surrounding them. Noting that he wasn't watching her, she grabbed her handbag that matched her summer white dress and took out a magazine with a cauldron on the front. She started to flip through it, finding the place that she had left off with. Sitting herself in a more comfortable position, she threw the magazine down onto the table to tie her hair back. She grabbed her chestnut wavy locks and pulled it back into a high ponytail, leaving a few strands to dangle by her tan face. Jocelyn knew he was probably watching her, but refused to glance his way as she picked up her magazine.
"I find it surprising that you read 'Potions Weekly'."
Jocelyn almost choked on her drink as she set it down. She didn't know why his voice surprised her so. "Ah well, I just read it for the articles."
Severus arched a black brow at her as he brought his hands up to rest under his chin, gazing right into Jocelyn's hazel eyes. "You are unusually sarcastic for a woman of your . . . looks."
If that was a compliment, which she was sure it wasn't, it was a bizarre way putting it. Then again, everything about this cynical man was odd.
"You are very chatty, Professor Snape," she said, knowing very well he wasn't. "What is it you want from me?"
He surprised her with a deep, sensual chuckle, which seemed to swim through her very blood. Jocelyn couldn't help but love his profound, corporeal voice. Every time he talked during a staff meeting or in a loud corridor, she knew it because of the slight rumble through the air and if he was close enough, he could vibrate her body.
"I am merely striking up a pleasant conversation," he replied when he stopped his brief chortle.
Jocelyn couldn't help but flirt with the man, his black eyes drawing her into their depths to lock her there forever, "Who said it was pleasant, Professor?"
She saw his lip curl a fraction of an inch, "You try my patience, Miss. Harley. But your retorts draw me in, nonetheless."
She draws him in, does she? Well, let's reel him in a bit further. Jocelyn took her top jacket and unzipped it, revealing her upper regions, which were covered except her arms and upper chest.
"It is a bit hot in here," she said truthfully, the conversation really was scorching her.
Severus arched a brow at her, glancing only discreetly at her chest, "Indeed."
His heated gaze was bothering her so she pulled her magazine back to her. She had reeled in a poisonous fish . . . time to set him free. Jocelyn realized that not only was she attracted to the man, but his enigmatic personality was alluring as well.
"So, what do you think of that new sandalwood potion?" she asked quickly, realizing the silence.
The rest of their evening consisted of discussing new potions, new ideas for remedies and well-liked literature. Jocelyn realized that the man was a mastermind. He knew everything. And that made him even more irresistible to her. And liking a man so quickly was unusual for her.
I Flashback Ends I
And so it's been like that ever since. Jocelyn admiring his beauty and intelligence from afar. Well, afar in the way that they didn't intimately get together. There were times when she thought he felt the same way, but just assumed that he had no idea of her affections, and if he did, he probably didn't care. Though he was kind to her. They talked at meals and got together in his quarters to discuss books and other things. But someone always accompanied them. Albus usually came along, always leaving early, hoping to get them together. Though Jocelyn never felt comfortable with him when they were alone. It was intimidating to have him look at her in that certain, stripping way. But she liked him; there was no doubt about that.
Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a loud noise. She jumped and looked up, her gaze resting upon a man strewn across the floor, his black robes strewn about his lithe body. Jocelyn ran over to him, not sure who he was yet, but when she saw his black silky locks, she was sure it was Severus. Her breath caught in her throat as she gently flipped him over onto his back. Cuts and abrasions were strewn across his face, which was pulled upwards in a expression of pain. She leaned over and spoke his name loudly, hoping that he wasn't unconscious like she thought he was. But his lack of any movement made her worry even more. Jocelyn brushed his dank hair from his face and pulled her wand out of her white robes. There was already a pool of blood around his form making it hard for her to breathe at all. She was scared to death that he was dead. But she didn't waste another minute thinking about that as she charmed his body to lift up into the air. She floated him as quick as she could to the hospital wing, hoping Madame Pomfrey was back from her meeting in Diagon Alley. As she gently, but quickly, lowered him onto the metal-grate hospital bed she hurriedly ran around the Infirmary. Madame Pomfrey was nowhere to be found, and her assistant was taking a holiday. She felt even more scared.
Jocelyn ran over to the cabinet of potions and opened it, amazed that it had no wards. She pulled out a bottle of Awakening Potion, hoping it would help him come back to consciousness. As she hurried over to his side, she noticed the tears that were streaming down her face, soaking her rosy cheeks. Jocelyn tilted his head back with some difficulty and pried his firm mouth open with her thumb and forefinger. As soon as she had it open, she poured a generous amount of the potion down his throat, rubbing it gently to help it go down. In about five seconds his lids opened wearily and she heard him moan gently. The tears seemed to fall faster.
Without asking, she removed his clothing until he lay in mere black boxers. She cried out as she gazed upon his slashed and bruised chest, legs and arms. His face was fairly bruised to, and his jaw seemed to sit awkwardly. Jocelyn supposed it was broken. Well aware of a few simple spells, she started to clean his cuts and close them. His bruises were already a dark black and green, but the ointment she found in the cabinet reduced the color, and she hoped, the pain as well. As she worked on his beaten body, she saw his black eyes glittering from under half closed eyelids. If he were not hurt so badly, she was sure he would push her away and refuse her help. Though now, he understood that his injuries needed to be fixed before any other complications occurred.
Jocelyn was certain that she should go and alert the headmaster, but she could not bring herself from his side. Plus, he still had some broken ribs that she fortunately knew how to mend. When she had finished curing him to the best of her ability and knowledge, his closed eyes and slow breathing gave evidence that he had fallen asleep during her medical aid. When she was sure he was well enough to be by himself, she was about to go inform the headmaster, but realized he had already arrived with Madame Pomfrey at his side.
Jocelyn gasped as she saw them at the doorway, "How did you -?"
"Dobby had seen you bringing Severus up here, and he was sure Professor Snape was injured badly, so I called for Madame Pomfrey immediately," Albus said, the usual twinkle in his eyes distinguished slightly.
Madame Pomfrey was already checking up on Severus when Jocelyn turned to look back at his peacefully sleeping form, "I see you have done some of the minor cures, and I'm sure if you had not awoken him, he would no longer be with us."
The last thing brought tears to Jocelyn's eyes as she checked more of Severus with her wand. The tip shone a bright red over his heart, indicating that it was not working properly.
"Oh dear," Madame Pomfrey whispered to herself. "We must get him to St. Mungo's at once!"
Dumbledore quickly said, "I expected as much. I will go make the necessary arrangements," he turned to Jocelyn, "as for you. I advise you to get some rest. You may see Severus tomorrow, if you wish. Though he might . . . not make it through the night."
Jocelyn's tears became waterfalls and she was almost wailing. "I want to come. I want to be with him."
Madame Pomfrey agreed with Dumbledore, "Deary, I think you should stay here and get some rest. It will do you no good to stay in St. Mungo's all night, worrying."
"NO!" Jocelyn almost screamed. "I want to go. If he is dying I want to be there with him. I don't want to lose him!"
Madame Pomfrey's eyes widened as she heard this, but Albus didn't seem in the least bit surprised.
"Jocelyn, you must stay. If you go and he dies then it will be even more agonizing for you," Albus said in an amazingly strong voice. "Now we are wasting time. If you want Severus to be in the hospital sooner, you will retreat to your room, now!"
Jocelyn started to cry even harder, and she gave Severus lithe form one last look before she weakly dragged herself from the room.