Disclaimer: Red vs. Blue belongs to Roosterteeth. NOT ME!
Life in Blood Gulch was fairly normal, for the Reds at least. Save Griff who kept coming over to blue base to check on sister every five minutes. The blues were having a hard time because Caboose decided it would be a good idea to make a replica of the pyramids using all the furniture at Blue base.
"You have GOT to be kidding me" Church growled, looking at Caboose's creation.
"Don't you love it I made it just for you!" Caboose said smiling dumbly through his helmet.
"Tex kill me now please." Church begged
"Your already dead retard" Tex snapped
"Caboose where are we going to sleep?" Tucker said feeding his kid a raw steak. "Your such an effing retard"
"I called Vic, he's nice, he told me all the red's aren't in regulation red armor, and there is no pink army" Caboose said.
"Caboose," Tucker began calmly "WE HAVE NOWHERE TO SLEEP!"
"Ohh I got Vic to send me more beds" Caboose said "He said they are very squishy"
"Freaking retard" Church said before a large package dropped behind them.
"That must be them!" Caboose said wandering away from the package.
"Where are the rest of the beds?" Doc asked counting the tree beds for a fifth time.
"Caboose!" Tex yelled as Caboose came running out of the base.
"I can't find Teddy!" Caboose yelled.
"Whyarethereonlythreebeds!" Tex yelled in one breath
"Well, I thought" Caboose began.
"There's the problem" Tucker muttered
"If there are six of us, and I got double beds we would only need three beds!" Caboose said "Vic helped me with the math, I don't like math…"
"That means we have to share beds!" Church snapped.
"You ladies can stay in my bed, BOW CHIK A BOW WOW" Tucker said.
"Shut the hell up, just shut the hell up" Tex said.
"I vote Tucker sleeps with Doc" Church said
"Ok than you get to sleep with Caboose and I'll sleep with sister" Tex reasoned.
"BOW CHIK A BOW WOW" Tucker said
"Seriously shut the hell up!" Church said "Lets just go to bed, it's as close as it gets to pitch black around here."
It only took Tex five minutes to realize sister had an annoying habit of sticking her knee in people's backs. "Knock it off" Tex snapped pushing sister over because she was already on the edge of the bed. "This is worse than Church trying to cuddle"
"I don't cuddle!" Church protested "So shut the hell up!"
"R-i-ight, you keep thinking that" Tex said
"Dumb witch" Church growled.
"Prick" Tex shot back.
"All of you shut up!" Tucker yelled "I offered to let you sleep in my bed"
"If I would share a bed with anyone it would be Church, because he knows I'll beat him if he tries anything." Tex growled
"Why is everyone yelling?" Caboose said.
"Seriously Sister!" Tex growled getting out of bed and walking over to Church and Caboose. "Caboose go lie down with Sister now"
"Okay!" Caboose said walking over to Sister "hi I'm Caboose!"
"Church scoot over" Tex said shoving Church onto the other side of the bed.
"Slut." Church muttered "Oww! Son of a – Sorry now stop please Oww!"
"Go to bed I'm sure the reds can hear us!" Tucker said.
"Up yours" Church said "Tex stop hitting me!"
"Than stop talking" Tex shot back
"Fine" Church said.
"So… Church is Tex hot?" Tucker asked
"Did you just seriously ask that?" Church said in disbelief
"Well, you're the only one here who's seen her with out armor on." Tucker reasoned.
"Church, before you even think about answering that, think about answering that think about where I'm at." Tex said threateningly.
"I'm going to have to plead the fifth there buddy" Church said before turning to Tex and whispering something to her followed by her elbowing him.
"Your talking about me aren't you?" Tucker said.
"Everyone shut up and go to sleep!" Tex yelled.
A/N: Please let me know if I should continue posting.