Author's Note: I wasn't happy seeing so many mushy Betelgeuse stories, and so I made my own based on the movie verse. Enjoy.

Prologue

"You don't really think I am about to take you seriously like that... do you?"

It took him a moment to realize what the Miss Argentina receptionist was talking about when he remembered the tribal man with the low number and magic powder. This wasn't improving his mood.

"Put me back, and I'll show you how serious I can be." He squeaked as he leered at her.

"I doubt it."

The window was rudely slid shut in his face. Betel Geuse stood there for a moment longer in silence, staring through the window at her. Ever since that bitch in the ugly wedding dress sent that sand worm to swallow him, his powers had been less than satisfactory. Hell, he couldn't even magically tie someones shoelaces together let alone get his head back to its regular shape and then get back at that voodoo who-do whats-it-man who shrunk his head in the first place.

All of this thinking and standing was beginning to hurt his head, however, and he took his seat again.

"Have to admit, wouldn't have minded watching her for a bit longer though, ehehehehehe." He squeaked at the other shrunken head victim in the waiting room. Hearing how ridiculous his voice sounded, though, only put Betel in a worse mood. He looked down at his number that wasn't getting any smaller. He was going to go insane. How long had it been?

The number being called was number 796, which happened to be the other man with the shrunken head. The fucking jack ass.

Lydia caught the softball in both hands and quickly touched their makeshift second base.

"You're out!" She shouted victoriously. "Ooh looks like the girls team is ahead Adam boy."

"No way, you have got to be cheating. Did Barbara steal an extra softball?" Adam accused.

"Adam! Just admit you're out fair and square. Just because you and Charles are SO far behind--" Barbara teased.

"We weren't a moment ago." Charles interrupted and Barbara rolled her eyes at Lydia who smirked back.

"I don't care who is cheating so long as I don't hear anything breaking." Lydia cringed as her least favorite person in the whole wide house stood in the doorway of her room and spoke to them in her usual chipper sing song manner. If she went deaf it would be a blessing.

"Delia, come on. We're in my room. And besides, Adam and Barbara's powers have gotten a lot stronger now that they aren't so worried about who they share their house with or anything like that..." She had been about to say 'anything like that Betel guy' but just the thought of him made her want to dry heave. And to think she would have been married to him had Barbara been a second too late.

Yes, Barbara and Adam would be getting the largest presents on Christmas and on any other day for as long as Lydia was on this earth... and then even after that if she could manage it.

"So if anything broke, it'd be fixed before you had time to get upset." She finished.

"I know I just, wish it were possible for you all to play outside and I wouldn't be so worried every time I heard a shout and a crash."

"Hun, you'd be a lot more relaxed about this if you joined us for a game." Charles told her. Lydia tried to tell him with her eyes how bad of an idea that was.

"I'm sculpting dear, I am relaxed." And Delia quickly left the scene. Last summer Lydia may have found it amusing to hear her dad tell someone else to relax, but ever since he almost lost his baby girl and made a few new ghostly friends who loved his daughter possibly as much as he did, well... he viewed life differently.

Times were different now, and Lydia was happier than she had ever been before. It was nice having friends. Friends who felt like family and in doing so, brought hers closer together.

They went back to their game and without cheating on their part, the girls team won. Of course Adam had tried to use his new found levitating powers but Barbara was quick to shake her finger at him sternly and he was quick to stick the tip of his tongue out at her.

"Yes, well that was fun kids. Can't do it every day of course, not since... well not with my back... Think I'll go watch some birds." He smiled at them fondly and ruffled Lydia's hair as he passed her before leaving for his study and an exciting afternoon of bird watching.

Lydia watched him go with a small smile before turning to Adam and Barbara, "Sorry you lost Adam."

"Yeah yeah, I know you aren't. Just be prepared for next weekend when the boy team destroys the girl team." Adam told her with a smirk.

"Oh I'm sure." Was all Lydia said in reply. She walked past them towards her bed where her camera lay. She had wanted to use this nice fall day to ride her bike around and see if she could get some shots before it got too late.

"Going out with your camera Lydia?" Barbara asked with a kind smile. Though her pictures were usually a bit morbid for Barbara, she always had a motherly encouragement with everything Lydia did.

"Yes, it's one of my favorite times of the year. Not too warm, not too cold, and it makes a brilliant picture almost every time... as the earth is preparing to sleep."

"Well look, it's been a while since we've seen any pictures of yours..." Adam began and Lydia was about to apologize and offer an excuse but was cut off, "So take a good one, which knowing you would never be hard to do, and we'll show you something new that's up in the attic."

Lydia gave him a big grin and hugged the both of them. "You two are so good to me. I wonder if I deserve it sometimes."

Barbara stroked her face gently and looked down at her lovingly, "Don't be so silly Lydia. You're our little mortal girl."

The saying would have seemed odd, but as Lydia rode her bike down their long driveway and into town, she would toss the saying over and over in her head and it sounded nicer every time. She had never known her mother, and these past few months she felt as if she was finally meeting her.

Delia had her moments every now and then, when she wasn't stressed with her art not selling or moving into a house that in her opinion needed to be redecorated... but Delia had never looked at her the way Barbara does.

Sometimes she would even prefer Adam over her own father, though she felt guilty whenever she thought it. Her father had suffered a mental breakdown from all the stress in his life, and it wasn't fair to compare him to anyone else.

Steering off the street, Lydia decided to take the path less traveled. Alone with her thoughts and camera was how she preferred it when outside of her house.

Entering the small forest just deep enough not to be seen by any nosy neighbors, Lydia walked around at her own pace, taking a picture every few minutes, not really seeing anything that stood out to her.

Something crawled over the trunk of a tree next to her. Excited, Lydia brought the camera up and was about to take a few shots of the creepy crawler that decided to come pose for her, but she hesitated.

What she thought was a spider turned out to be a large shiny beetle and watching it crawl along the bark made her shiver in disgust.

Lydia never saw any use of being cruel to any creature, even insects. She felt like animals all had a place on this earth. But there was no feeling of remorse when she squashed the bug on the tree with a grubby tennis shoe.

Taking a few pictures, she knew what she would call her picture of the gooey mess, but just to be safe maybe she'd call it "Bug Juice."

After all, he had inspired Delia, why not her?

His number was called, just when he was about to go postal on this dump. He always hated that receptionist. How great it would have been to... do what, exactly, he didn't know. It would have hurt but it wasn't satisfying because it wouldn't kill her. He hated hating dead people, not much could be done about it.

"Finally," he sighed as he threw himself into the chair across from Juno. Placing his muddy shoes on her desk top, Betel Geuse leaned back causally and gave her a lazy look. "Do you have any idea how long I had to wait there? I bet you do, bet you know full well --" His feet were pushed none too gently from her desk and Juno gave him a cold stare that might have sent the beetles crawling away from his teeth in shame.

"Geuse, you have been demoted to Level One Poltergeist, no longer are you allowed to refer to yourself as 'Bio-Exorcist' and you are stripped of all your powers until your next hearing. That is only if you have proved you can handle them again."

A headache was beginning to form already, damn this small head. His rage was coming back full force, but then when you had to spend four years in the Waiting Room, you never quite get over your little angry feelings.

"You have gotta be shittin' me! Do you know how long it took -- do you know WHAT it took to get to where I am?"

"'Where you were,' I believe is what you mean. And I'm sure it was nothing short of blackmail, inappropriate possession of both human AND animal bodies, and of course, knowing you, illegal usage of insects and rodents." Juno replied in a way that pissed Betel right the fuck off, in a way that suggested she was anything but impressed.

"And you have no idea how hard it is to posses someone who's got nothing on you in the downstairs department if you know what I mean sweetheart, know what I mean?"

The look Juno sent him happened to be one he was used to receiving, one that spoke to him just how disgusted she was to have to look, smell, and listen to him.

Damn that look made him feel good.

Juno began to write something on his file, and he attempted to back track, "But you know, half of what you hear is just a rumor and the other half is exaggerated beyond what really happen. Eheheh, shit, some people make up the most interestin'... I'm sure if you just heard me out and... what the hell are you writing? Do you think I wanna sit here and hear that everything I've worked for is. Worth. Complete. Shit. DO YA? 'CAUSE I TELL YA WHAT, IT GETS OLD PRETTY DAMN FAST WOMAN!"

His shouts did not even earn him a flinch from the old bitch sitting across from him. Probably didn't sound the same when he squeaked at her instead of shouting in his usual voice. Damn he'd give anything to have his powers back and just blast her to sand worm land in a little box. In several little boxes.

"You've been confined to our world Betel. You are on house arrest. Now, since you do not currently own a house there's no other place to watch you save the jail house."

As the policy men were taking him away, he heard Juno call out to him, "And though I would love to see you mocked in the jail house for all the pain you have caused, I feel compelled however to fix your appearance a tiny bit so I can at least go to your hearing without falling into a fit of laughter."

Betel Geuse tuned out most of her little speech but soon began to feel an odd sensation in his head, as if it were expanding. There weren't any mirrors to see if all the right things were in all the right places, but feeling his face with his hands gave him pleasant results.

That bitch isn't good for nothing I suppose.

"And take advantage of the prison showers! You think we want to smell that!" Juno shouted after him as an after thought.

That fucking bitch.