We'll send you a Hogwarts Toilet Seat!
-Fred and George Weasley
Fred had always been the more "unmerciful" twin, not giving in when George did, and was a bit crueler. But he didn't know this. To him, he was the height of cool, and impressing his fellow Gryffindors, and making them laugh gave him an immense feeling of popularity. Fred was a bit more outgoing, and if one looked closely, he was a tad taller than his twin. But there was one thing George had more of than his brother; and that was (gags)love. George had a girlfriend, Katie Bell, a chaser on the house Quidditch team, and Fred had nobody. Nobody, that was, until Lizzie Brown came along.
Lizzie was a fifth year exchange student from America, and for a fifteen-year-old, she was rather immature, much like Fred. With short brown hair that was always messy, enormous green eyes, and a very strange assortment of clothes, Lizzie was an attention-attracter, which was what first roused Fred's awareness of her. He was jealous of this rather tall girl, who stood surrounded of a knot of admiring girls who usually tagged along with him and George on some of their misadventures. These girls were oohing and ahhing at Lizzie's jeans, wristbands, black and white striped T-shirt, and red tie. It wouldn't long until many girls were wearing outfits similar to this - it seemed to be "cool" to dress like the American girl.
Lizzie loved to make people laugh, and she enjoyed telling people stories about her life in the United States, many of which Fred believed were completely made up. One day Fred decided he had had quite enough, and he marched right up to the girl and crossed his arms.
"I have a hard time believing you did and saw everything you say you did." He stated baldly, then added as an afterthought, "And saw."
Lizzie gazed mildly at him for a moment, then drew herself up to her full height, which, surprisingly, was just about the same as Fred's and spat, "And why would you care, you stupid, stinking prat?"
Fred goggled at her. Never before had someone spoken back to him with such vindictive fury as this slight, thin girl had. It seemed he had for once met his match. But he tried not to let his shock show on his face.
"Because I, unlike you, belong here, and maybe I can tell lies, but you sure as hell can't!"
Lizzie widened her eyes so that they were even bigger than normal. This freckle-faced boy was actually yelling at her with the same sarcasm that she used on nearly everybody. She didn't want him to know it, but she suddenly felt rather respectful of this young wizard before her. She stared hard into his green eyes.
"Oh, I see! You're just mad 'cause none of those girls over there are paying any attention to your fat arse!" But she said it with a smile.
Fred grinned back sweetly. Too sweetly- always a danger sign. "Too right you are. That's my group, not yours. I daresay I'd like them back. I did think you would consent to that."
"Well, that makes you ugly and stupid!"
They glared at each other for a moment, and then they both burst out laughing. People in the crowded Gryffindor common room turned to raise their eyebrows at the pair of them, and Katie Bell smirked knowingly at George from a corner.
Lizzie extended a hand. "I'm Lizzie Brown. Can't wait for the start of my lessons tomorrow!"
Fred took her hand. It was oddly soft. He realized he had never really held anyone's hand, and quickly released hers.
"Fred Weasley." She smiled at him, then turned and flounced back to the crowd of girls, her little bit of hair bouncing on her scalp. Fred watched her go with a slightly dazed expression, as if he had just been hit over the head with a mallet. He didn't even notice his twin sneaking up behind him.
"Freddie and Lizzie, sitting in a tree! S-n-o-g-g-i-n-g! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage!"
"Shut it!" Fred snarled, and narrowed his eyes at George. "Georgie Pordgie puddin' pie."
George reeled back in mock horror, clutching his chest. "Alas! You've really wounded me there, brother! That was below the belt, that was!"
Fred rolled his yes at him, grinding his teeth as George pretended to string an arrow and shoot him on the butt.
"Awwww! Fred's in luuuurve!!"
"Am not, you bloody moron! What a freak that one was!" He cast a dark look at the retreating figure of Lizzie Brown, who was ascending the stairs to the girl's dormitories. George sighed. "Ahhh, but love comes in all shapes and sizes, Fred, you must know tha-" He broke off, ducking under a right hook from Fred.
Fred was grumbling as he made his way down into the Great Hall with George. He spotted Harry, who was looking gloomy, and recalled some of the rumors circulating around him, that he was the heir of Slytherin and other such nonsense. He would have to remember to tease him about it.
Fred wasn't paying much attention to where George was steering him; he was too tired to really care. But he changed tact the moment he saw that George had surreptitiously plunked him down right across from Lizzie Brown. He turned to look daggers at his twin, and knew the instant their eyes met that there would be scene if he protested. Fred wasn't really in the mood.
Grumpily, he stabbed a few sausages and transferred them to his plate, chewing them methodically. It was a few minutes before he realized he was being watched. Lizzie grinned toothily at him when he looked up, his mouth full.
"Wha'? Leave me alone, can't you? Some normal people are trying to eat." Lizzie's plate was empty.
Her smile grew wider still, and he wondered somewhere in the back of his mind if he had become the butt of some American joke.
"Right little ray of sunshine, aren't you?" She trilled in a high, sing-songy voice. He grunted and turned away.
Fred and George had Herbology first thing, and they started off across the sunny grounds at a brisk pace, the dewy grass soaking the ends of their robes. Fred groaned as he saw Lizzie sitting happily on a garden bench outside Greenhouse five, her hands clasped on her lap, innocently smiling at George.
"Hello!" She said, all niceties. " I don't think I've met you. I'm Lizzie. Lizzie Brown."
George introduced himself, and engaged Lizzie in conversation. Fred stared avidly at a Venomous Tentacula, wondering vaguely what it ate.
Professor Sprout was calling role.
"Weasley, Fred."
"Perfectly present!" He called, to giggles from the class. Professor Sprout ignored him.
"Weasley, George."
George pretended to look around the greenhouse. "You know, I don't think he's here!" Sprout ignored that, too. At last she reached the end of the list, where a new name had been scribbled in by pen.
"Lizhoni, Brown?" Sprout looked around, as did most of the class. Fred sniggered in an audible whisper, "Lizhoni?"
Lizzie raised her hand. Her eyes flashed. "It's Lizzie."
Several people laughed. Sparks seemed to fly from the American girl's nostrils. "It actually means beautiful. My Grandmother chose it." She said scathingly, without a trace of embarrassment. Fred sniggered again, and she rounded on him. Oblivious, Professor Sprout was explaining to a girl about the importance of the Venomous Tentacula, and telling her not to be afraid of it.
Fred ducked under the long Greenhouse table and appeared on the other side, grinning across at a seething Lizzie. He wouldn't have been surprised to see smoke roiling out of her ears. He waved jovially and she ground her teeth loud enough for him to hear it above the drone of the others in the class.
Fred turned back to Sprout just as she finished talking, an expression of polite interest on his freckled face. He chuckled under his breath as he saw Lizzie shake her head dismissively out of the corner of his eye.
Fred and George were juggling lit Filibuster's Fireworks while standing on chairs to appreciative applause from a group of third years when Lizzie stalked up to them. Fred dropped one of the fireworks he was juggling in alarm and bent to snatch it up, but Lizzie beat him to it. She took the sizzling explosive, and stuffed it under Fred's chair.
There was nothing anyone could do- the result was immediate. With a soft whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! the firework sparked and ignited, blowing silver and purple sparks everywhere and set one of the chair's legs on fire. Fred bellowed an oath and leapt down, pulling out his wand, but again, Lizzie was too quick for him.
"Aquaminti!" She chortled, and a soft pray of water came pouring from her wand tip, extinguishing the flames, and causing steam to pour up from the chair leg. She smiled benignly at Fred.
"I just wanted to thank you for that delightfully kind comment you made on my name down at the Greenhouse! I hope this makes up for the compassion you have shown me these last few days." She fluttered her eyelashes sweetly and left him standing there, face sooty.
George jumped down from his chair, cackling. "Oh, she's got you good and pegged, my dear twin! What are you going to do now?"