-*- Author's Note: From the time at the end of the Prisoner of Azkaban,
where Sirius is captured after Harry discovers Pettigrew's identity.
Sirius' POV.
-*- Disclaimer: All belongs to JK Rowling.
-*- -*- -*- -*-
They dragged me up the stairs like a rag doll.
They forced me into some office that seemed familiar, forced me to sit down on a chair. Force. Such a horrible word. I had been "forced" to be taken to Azkaban while I fought tooth and nail to find Harry among that rubble of James' house. They won, though, those damn Ministry wizards.
"Reminiscing isn't gonna help you now, Sirius," I thought miserably. Dumbledore and Snape entered the room, then. They asked me to tell them my story of what had just happened. I told them, from the day I got arrested to the second I heard Harry running to help me with those Dementors surrounding me.
Snape gave a snort of disbelief, said a quiet word to Dumbledore and they both exited the room. Snape made sure the door was locked so powerfully that no spell but his could open it. I sighed. I tried to force my mind to work. I had no room left to feel angry, or sad, or even foreboding. I was about to die - no, I was about to suffer something worse than death. The Dementors' Kiss.
I shut my eyes, then opened them. I stared at the wall and momentarily though I was going insane. The wall leapt in front of my face, then raced away a mile. My mind shuddered to a halt: it was a miracle my heart kept beating, for my mind at that minute knew nothing except blackness. And then a thought hit me, and my brain screamed into motion, the cogs pulling and twisting painfully, forcing me to think.
I had failed Harry. I had failed him. Not only that, but that prat Wormtail was about to go and look for his "old master". What a joke. The only "master" that had ever accepted him had been James - he alone had seemed to really like Peter. Remus had only ever had pity. I, back in those wonderful days at Hogwarts, had only ever found an extra excuse to tease him but make it seem brotherly for James' sake.
Bless James Potter. That man could have no truer faith. In me it used to shine most. I shuddered to think about it, how he had made me his Secret Keeper. Or almost.
I put my head in my hands, letting my elbows dig hard into my knees. My newly grown, yet dank, hair fell past me, reminding me of how long a time it had had to grow. That was all one little tagalong's fault. "You bastard, Pettigrew," I croaked, and suddenly, there was a temptation to kill myself. I tried to ignore it but couldn't. I would have done it with my bare hands - strangled myself. I had just sent a message to my hands, about to make them reach up to my throat, when there was a tap at the window. I turned to look out of it slowly, knowing my eyes were full of black hate and regret.
That soon changed. The site that met my eyes made me stare. Harry Potter and his friend Hermione were on a Hippogriff, hovering outside my window. I stared, and numbly felt my jaw drop. I jumped from my chair, raced to the window and felt all the suicidal thoughts fly from my mind, never to return. This was my ticket to freedom! Except the window wouldn't open.
"Damn," I croaked, but Hermione called something, or tried to through the glass, but I couldn't hear her. She waved her wand and the window sprung open.
"How - how - ?" I asked hoarsely, staring at the Hippogriff they called Buckbeak.
"Get on, there's not much time," Harry said to me, gripping a rope-rein tied around the Hippogriff's neck. And like the dog I truly was, I obeyed Harry and clambered onto the Hippogriff's back behind Hermione, clutching the Hippogriff gently with my knees. He seemed quite happy to have three humans on his back.
"You've got to get out of here - the Dementor's are coming. Macnair's gone to get them," Harry was saying to me. He urged the Hippogriff up to the top of the castle towards the West Tower. Harry and Hermione then slid off Buckbeak's shiny feathers and landed on the ground.
"Sirius, you'd better go, quick," Harry urged me. "They'll reach Flitwick's office -" (Oh, so that was why it looked familiar. I remembered getting in trouble by Flitwick once in my seventh year for setting off a hundred dungbombs in the Great Hall) "- any moment, they'll find out you've gone."
Suddenly I remembered the boy - Harry's best friend. Weasley. "What happened to the other boy? Ron?" I asked him urgently.
"He's going to be OK - he's still out of it, but Madam Pomfrey says she'll be able to make him better. Quick - go!" Harry replied, saying all this very fast, barely letting me catch the words.
I suddenly realized that Harry had deceived everyone from the Muggles upwards who had tried and failed to catch me - he had deceived everyone and had given me my freedom - by way of Buckbeak. My best friend's son was saving my life, simply by belief of the friendship between me and his father. Oh, how much he resembled his father, and the faith his father used to have. He had even shown that faith to Pettigrew, just when he had the chance to rid the world of his parents' betrayer.
"How can I ever thank -" I started.
"GO!!" they both shouted at me. Even Buckbeak gave a snort. I turned the beautiful beast towards the open sky, but looked over my shoulder with a grin, and suddenly felt like James' best friend again, off running to my bench before Snape figured out what I had put in his cauldron. I looked down on the boy that was identical to James, except for Lily's eyes...and temper, by the looks of it.
"We'll see each other again," I promised, still feeling like the cocky teenager I used to be. Warmth filled my heart, and flushed out whatever cold the Dementors had ever left behind. "You are - truly your father's son, Harry."
I gave a last grin, and squeezed Buckbeak with my heels. The Hippogriff lurched into the air, and my filthy hair was flung back.
"I need a haircut," I grumbled to Buckbeak, who again snorted. "I'm surprised Remus even recognized me! James would have a right good time, laughing at how my vanity had disappeared in Azkaban. 'What happened to the gleaming hair, Padfoot?' Ahh, but then, with a body this thin, and Remus being sharper, James would probably never recognize me..."
I didn't know that Harry was gazing after me, watching that laughing man that had stood next to James on the Potter's wedding day.
-*- Black Heart
-*- Disclaimer: All belongs to JK Rowling.
-*- -*- -*- -*-
They dragged me up the stairs like a rag doll.
They forced me into some office that seemed familiar, forced me to sit down on a chair. Force. Such a horrible word. I had been "forced" to be taken to Azkaban while I fought tooth and nail to find Harry among that rubble of James' house. They won, though, those damn Ministry wizards.
"Reminiscing isn't gonna help you now, Sirius," I thought miserably. Dumbledore and Snape entered the room, then. They asked me to tell them my story of what had just happened. I told them, from the day I got arrested to the second I heard Harry running to help me with those Dementors surrounding me.
Snape gave a snort of disbelief, said a quiet word to Dumbledore and they both exited the room. Snape made sure the door was locked so powerfully that no spell but his could open it. I sighed. I tried to force my mind to work. I had no room left to feel angry, or sad, or even foreboding. I was about to die - no, I was about to suffer something worse than death. The Dementors' Kiss.
I shut my eyes, then opened them. I stared at the wall and momentarily though I was going insane. The wall leapt in front of my face, then raced away a mile. My mind shuddered to a halt: it was a miracle my heart kept beating, for my mind at that minute knew nothing except blackness. And then a thought hit me, and my brain screamed into motion, the cogs pulling and twisting painfully, forcing me to think.
I had failed Harry. I had failed him. Not only that, but that prat Wormtail was about to go and look for his "old master". What a joke. The only "master" that had ever accepted him had been James - he alone had seemed to really like Peter. Remus had only ever had pity. I, back in those wonderful days at Hogwarts, had only ever found an extra excuse to tease him but make it seem brotherly for James' sake.
Bless James Potter. That man could have no truer faith. In me it used to shine most. I shuddered to think about it, how he had made me his Secret Keeper. Or almost.
I put my head in my hands, letting my elbows dig hard into my knees. My newly grown, yet dank, hair fell past me, reminding me of how long a time it had had to grow. That was all one little tagalong's fault. "You bastard, Pettigrew," I croaked, and suddenly, there was a temptation to kill myself. I tried to ignore it but couldn't. I would have done it with my bare hands - strangled myself. I had just sent a message to my hands, about to make them reach up to my throat, when there was a tap at the window. I turned to look out of it slowly, knowing my eyes were full of black hate and regret.
That soon changed. The site that met my eyes made me stare. Harry Potter and his friend Hermione were on a Hippogriff, hovering outside my window. I stared, and numbly felt my jaw drop. I jumped from my chair, raced to the window and felt all the suicidal thoughts fly from my mind, never to return. This was my ticket to freedom! Except the window wouldn't open.
"Damn," I croaked, but Hermione called something, or tried to through the glass, but I couldn't hear her. She waved her wand and the window sprung open.
"How - how - ?" I asked hoarsely, staring at the Hippogriff they called Buckbeak.
"Get on, there's not much time," Harry said to me, gripping a rope-rein tied around the Hippogriff's neck. And like the dog I truly was, I obeyed Harry and clambered onto the Hippogriff's back behind Hermione, clutching the Hippogriff gently with my knees. He seemed quite happy to have three humans on his back.
"You've got to get out of here - the Dementor's are coming. Macnair's gone to get them," Harry was saying to me. He urged the Hippogriff up to the top of the castle towards the West Tower. Harry and Hermione then slid off Buckbeak's shiny feathers and landed on the ground.
"Sirius, you'd better go, quick," Harry urged me. "They'll reach Flitwick's office -" (Oh, so that was why it looked familiar. I remembered getting in trouble by Flitwick once in my seventh year for setting off a hundred dungbombs in the Great Hall) "- any moment, they'll find out you've gone."
Suddenly I remembered the boy - Harry's best friend. Weasley. "What happened to the other boy? Ron?" I asked him urgently.
"He's going to be OK - he's still out of it, but Madam Pomfrey says she'll be able to make him better. Quick - go!" Harry replied, saying all this very fast, barely letting me catch the words.
I suddenly realized that Harry had deceived everyone from the Muggles upwards who had tried and failed to catch me - he had deceived everyone and had given me my freedom - by way of Buckbeak. My best friend's son was saving my life, simply by belief of the friendship between me and his father. Oh, how much he resembled his father, and the faith his father used to have. He had even shown that faith to Pettigrew, just when he had the chance to rid the world of his parents' betrayer.
"How can I ever thank -" I started.
"GO!!" they both shouted at me. Even Buckbeak gave a snort. I turned the beautiful beast towards the open sky, but looked over my shoulder with a grin, and suddenly felt like James' best friend again, off running to my bench before Snape figured out what I had put in his cauldron. I looked down on the boy that was identical to James, except for Lily's eyes...and temper, by the looks of it.
"We'll see each other again," I promised, still feeling like the cocky teenager I used to be. Warmth filled my heart, and flushed out whatever cold the Dementors had ever left behind. "You are - truly your father's son, Harry."
I gave a last grin, and squeezed Buckbeak with my heels. The Hippogriff lurched into the air, and my filthy hair was flung back.
"I need a haircut," I grumbled to Buckbeak, who again snorted. "I'm surprised Remus even recognized me! James would have a right good time, laughing at how my vanity had disappeared in Azkaban. 'What happened to the gleaming hair, Padfoot?' Ahh, but then, with a body this thin, and Remus being sharper, James would probably never recognize me..."
I didn't know that Harry was gazing after me, watching that laughing man that had stood next to James on the Potter's wedding day.
-*- Black Heart