Hey, guys! This is my first attempt at a songfic. I'm not sure if I did it correctly. My friend didn't know what one was, so this was my attempt to show her. I wrote it last night at around 1:30am. Enjoy! =)
I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
If you had told me a year ago that I would be in love with Hanna Marin, I would have laughed in your face and wondered what you had been smoking. Then again, if you would have told me a year ago that one of my best friends would die and that my life would be controlled by someone known as "A", I would have thought you were seriously mentally ill. Well, it happened. All of it. And you know what's worse than being stalked by a psychopath? Love. Love can build you up and take you down. Love makes you feel like you're the mightiest creature on the planet and then in the next instant, the lowest form of life there is. Love sucks. That's all there is to it. But I can't help it. I love her. And it wasn't supposed to happen like this. Hell, she's not supposed to be with me. Especially when she's with him. If I shut my eyes and concentrate really hard, I can act like I can't hear them. How did this even happen? My fingers curl around the thick, soft blankets as the memory comes flooding back to me.
"So, which movie did you decide?" Hanna plops down next to me, holding a big bowl of buttered popcorn. The smell wafts up my nose and I inhale deeply, trying to settle my nerves.
"That depends," I reply with a smile. "Comedy or horror?"
"Ooh. Horror."
"'Halloween', it is." I slide off the couch, pop the DVD into its player and hit play. After I sit back down, Hanna reaches up and turns the only lamp that was on, off. We're plunged into darkness.
Thirty minutes into the movie, and Hanna has looped her arm through mine, head on my shoulder. I can smell her shampoo and it's making me dizzy. My heart's racing and it isn't because of watching people get slaughtered in High Definition a flat-screen TV.
"How come your hair is always so perfect?" Hanna threads her slim fingers through my hair and brushes them down my cheek. A fire ignites within the pit of my stomach. I can feel it burning up my intestines. "I'm so jealous. You're gorgeous."
"Hanna," I squeak, "you're gorgeous, too. Breathtaking."
Hanna doesn't reply. Instead, I feel a pair of warm, soft lips on mine. Fireworks erupt in my head and my skin feels hot. The fire has spread from my stomach all the way through my entire body. I kiss her back hesitantly at first. Then more aggressively as she pushes me on my back.
Bang! I'm jolted from my flashback. What was that? I lay still, pretending to be asleep.
"Smooth," Hanna giggles. "You better not have broken my perfume bottle. I paid one hundred dollars for that. And be quiet, you'll wake Em up."
You stole it, I think, a smile creeping over my lips as I hear her voice.
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
"No one has to know," Hanna tells me the next time she comes over. "It can be our little secret. Just let me kiss you again, okay?" It's funny how one kiss can lead into so much more. It's been six months. Six months since she's been with him. And four months since she's been seeing me behind his back. My eyelids are becoming heavy and I'm struggling to stay awake. A second later, the smell of cigarette smoke fills the room.
Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
I turn around and open my eyes. Through the moon's light shining in through the windows, I can see them. They're sitting on her bed. He holds a cigarette between thick fingers and offers it to her. Delicately, she takes it between her frosty lips. She exhales the smoke and stubs it out on the baseboard of her bed, then flicks it with ease into her trash can, something I've told her a thousand times not to do.
"Emily, you know I love you." Hanna pulls out a cigarette from her pocket and lights it against my stove. "But I can't just leave him."
"Why not?" I ask as Hanna holds out the cigarette to me. I shake my head no.
"I have to wait for the right time," she replies. Hanna gently places the cigarette in my mouth. "You look sexy with a cigarette between your lips." I stand there so long with the cigarette in my mouth that it burns my lips. Hanna kisses away the pain.
They lie down on her bed. All is quiet. I feel like I'm going to throw up when I see Hanna's slender fingers hover over his chest.
"Emily, you're so beautiful," she tells me as we lie in my bed together, entangled in my sheets. "Was that your first time?" My blush gives away the answer. Hanna grins and merely kisses me again.
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go
His hands work their way up her dress and he tosses it casually on the floor. I squeeze my eyes shut.
I just can't look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside
In more ways than one, Hanna reminds me of Alison. Hanna's eyes are a soft, ocean blue. Alison's eyes were intense. A shocking, electrifying blue - eyes that would keep you in a trance if you dared to look into them. Alison was brave, but Hanna's a sensitive soul. I held her once after he had fought with her. She cried and I let her. "He can be such an asshole. I'd rather be with you all the time." Hanna's never been afraid to speak her mind. And neither was Alison. But there are ways in which they differ. Alison was mean-spirited. Sick, twisted games were her thing. Hanna doesn't mean to break my heart. And she truly cares for me. Hanna may look like Alison, but she'll never be like she was. I love Hanna more than I ever loved Alison - a thought that is terrifying.
I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his—chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, let me go
He's kissing down her neck. She giggles. But it's fake. I know Hanna better than she knows herself. I bet he doesn't know that if you kiss Hanna's right earlobe, she squeaks and sighs into your embrace. He doesn't know that Hanna doesn't like to be kissed on the side of her neck. Only on her pulse point. And he doesn't know how to truly make her smile. I was taught to love everyone, but I hate him. He doesn't deserve her. My eyes water as he kisses down her neck and I roll over.
I just can't look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibi
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside
It isn't fair, really. I love her. She loves me, doesn't she? He doesn't give a damn about her. He just uses her for sex, and that's it. But she's too blinded by his puppy-dog eyes to notice. "I don't want to do this," Hanna says.
"Why not?" he asks in protest.
Don't touch her, I think. Get away from her before I lose it.
"No, I mean, be with you. I can't."
What?
"What?"
The scumbag voices my thoughts.
"It's not fair to you. I'm in love with someone else."
"Who? What's his name?"
Could there be someone else? Or is she talking about me?
"It doesn't matter," Hanna sighs.
She's irritated.
"Fine." The bed creaks as he stands up. The door slams. A few moments later, I hear the front door open and close. The start of a car. Then I am swept back into silence.
"Em?"
I don't move.
"Emily, I know you're awake."
Damn her. I sit up and fold my arms across my chest.
"Em, come on. Don't be like that." She slips into the pajamas she wore last night and crawls into my bed. Her arms slide around my neck, and she buries her face in my hair. "I should have ended it sooner. I'm sorry. I love you and only you."
My lip quivers. "Don't lie to me, Hanna."
"I'm not, Em. I swear. It's always been you." Before I can say another word, Hanna kisses me with such ferocity that I fall over on my back. Her hands roam my body, sending tingles up my spine. Goosebumps explode over my skin. My eyes flutter shut. "I'm sorry." Her lips are right next to my ear. "It wasn't right to do that to you."
My eyes slowly open and I gently push her off. "I want you to look me straight in the eyes and tell me that you love me."
Hanna cups my face between her hands and stares straight into my eyes. Her own are vibrant. "I love you, Emily Fields. I always have, and I always will. You're the only one for me. We complete each other."
A smile touches my lips and my hands rest in her lap. I lightly trace my fingers down her thighs, and she shivers. "We balance each other out."
"We're perfect for the other," Hanna whispers. She captures my lips in a kiss again and pulls the blanket over us. Her lips press against my neck. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
It doesn't take long before Hanna falls asleep, face nestled into the crook of my neck. I drape my arm over her waist and pull her closer, afraid to let go. She's the only one I'll ever need. My eyelids start to droop. I can't fight sleep anymore. I close my eyes and fall into a deep slumber, next to the one person I will love for the remainder of my days.
I never...
I never...
I never...
So, what did you guys think? I was going to change it to "Mrs. Brightside", but it sounded better to just leave it. ;) Oh, and there's a reason I didn't give Hanna's guy a name . Put a face to the guy you think she was with. It can be any guy you like (or hate) Hanna being with.
As always, reviews are appreciated! And keep on the lookout for an update of my other story!
~ S