A humorous story with an actually NON-Mary Sue OC. Surprising, right? Well, she might seem a little perfect in this chapter, but it's only the first.

Note: This Chapter is set in Ancient Greece, more specifically, Sparta. The next Chapter will take place in the Naruto world.

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Gasping for breath, nearly choking on my tears. My hands trembled and my balance faltered. I would have collapsed to the ground, but it was sheer willpower that kept me up on my feet and running. I could only think one thing.
'I have to run, I have to get away.'
Nothing else ran through my head. That one thought was the only thing that kept me going. He was after me, and if I didn't run as fast as I could until my legs broke, he would find me and only the Gods knew what he would do with me. My heart was beating faster than Hermes wings. Were I to remove my armor, drop my shield, lay down my spear or sword, I might be able to run faster, but I can't do that. Won't do that. It's against everything I've ever known to drop my shield and lay down my weapons. I had considered it, but if he found me and I could no longer run, I would have to fight.
If I lay down my weapons and shield, he would take me. Break my legs so I couldn't run. Cut out my tongue so I couldn't scream. He would set me up for public torture, either tying me to a pole and causing me many different forms of pain before leaving me to die, or putting me in the colosseum completely defenseless. I had broken one of the only rules of my land: no women in the military. And Gods, was it biting me in the ass!
I stumbled over a fallen branch, nearly tripping and getting thrown into the ground, but I retained my balance and kept running. The roaring winds brought my hair out of my helmet and the brown strands flew behind me. My helmet still protected my head, but it no longer hid my hair.
"You cannot run forever, kuna(1)!" I almost tripped over my own feet once more at the sound of his voice. It was so close. So close. His insult hurt, for only a day ago he had praised me. But then, however, he had thought me a man.
I would think that my King would be merciful on me, for he knew I was excellent solider, but I cannot go back with the General to find out if my King will really be merciful. Though I may have beaten the ranks of the other soldiers, a woman deceiving everyone into believing she a man and joining the military was a law breaker. And law breakers die.
I felt my legs stop on their own, and when I looked down, I saw I had ran to a cliff. I just barely stopped in time before falling off. I could hear the sound of feet hitting the ground, running closer to me. I turned around, and just as I did, General Daedalus (2) appeared, walking out of the forest I had just run through.
Fear tore through my being and I knew I was going to be sent to Hades. He had his sword drawn and his shield ready. My own hand itched to drop the spear and go to my sword, to pull it out and push it through his heart. But it wouldn't move and I knew why. I couldn't kill Daedalus, despite his intentions. There was no way I could hurt him, but there was also no way I was dying. Not today. Not here. Not now.
Seeing only one possible option, however stupid I knew it was, I went through with it.
I jumped right off of that cliff, falling backwards, ready to slam into the blue waters of the Aegean Sea. The last thing I saw was Daedalus' beautiful sea green eyes, wide with shock, and the tips of his silky black hair peeking out of the bronze helmet he wore, the traditional red hair- dyed from a horse's tail- attached to the helm rustled lightly in the wind.
My last thought as I fell, was one that may never leave my mind.
'Goodbye, my home. Goodbye, Sparta.'

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Darkness was all I could see. I was no longer falling, but standing in complete darkness with nothing around me whatsoever. It was a void, but it wasn't the underworld. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. I could feel that my eyes were open, but I couldn't see a thing. It felt so empty here. I clutched my hand around the spear I held, and took a step forward, ignoring the pain that was shooting through my legs and the worries that I would fall off and land in what truly was the underworld.
As I walked forward, torches appeared, lighting up the space. I could finally see wooden doors, thousands of them, each with a different color of light peeking through the cracks. Words were written on the doors, but I couldn't understand them. They appeared to be in some other language. I suppose I'm supposed to open one, but why? Which one? What do they lead to?
No one was there to answer these questions for me. It was so cold in here, so dark, so empty. The only things here were the doors, the lit torches, and myself. It gave me an uneasy feeling, but I pushed it away. I was getting out of this damn void.
I walked up to a random door, looked at the foreign words (3) written on it, and I raised my foot, slamming it into the door and breaking the door down.
Seeing only a very bright light, I walked forth, into it.
I could only hope this wasn't leading me straight in to Hades hands.

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1. Kuna is basically the Greek word for bitch, or female dog.

2. Daedalus was actually a real Spartan General. I'm not sure what time period, but I liked the name.

3. Spartans speak one language and read one language (though their reading may not be at best due to the lack of education among Spartan militia) and that is Greek. Other worlds will have different languages. Naruto is japanese, so to our Heroine, she can't understand anyone that speaks Japanese and can only read Greek.

So, the words on the doors are written in the language it's world speaks.

-Also, this part of the story is set during the reign of King Leonidas I.