Sunlight streamed through Alfred's window. He rose and slipped on his glasses then combed out his hair. Alfred looked at the clock.
8:00 am already? I guess it's time for breakfast.
Just as he was about to go downstairs, the American's computer dinged. Yawning and clicking the mouse, he realized someone was trying to get in contact with him via Pesterchum. "Okay, this better be important.", Alfred muttered. Surprisingly enough, it was Kiku. Black text. How boring of him. Alfred liked his own navy blue text. Wasn't it like 9:00 pm at Kiku's place?
apprehensiveOtaku [AO] began pestering patrioticBurgers [PB]
PB: what timing, bro! I was about to go eat!
PB: anything I can help with?
AO: Ah, yes. There is a reason why I am disturbing you this fine evening, Alfred-san. ( ・∇・)
PB: which is. . .?
AO: There's a weird man in my house! ＼(◎o◎)／
PB: call the police, get your sword, and split that sucker's head open!
AO: BUT I'M SERIOUS, ALFRED-SAN! (｀^´)
AO: WHAT COULD POSSIBLY COME FROM ME WITH MY KATANA AGAINST A GIANT MAN WITH A GUN?!(＃｀皿´)
AO: I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS TYPE OF THING! (ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻
AO: My apologies. It was very unnecessary on my part to display such anger. ( ^_^ ;; )
PB: it's fine, dude.
PB: wait just a cotton picking minute.
PB: knowing you, Kiku , I sincerely doubt that you've left you're room to take a look at this guy yet, so how do you know he's all scary and shit?
AO: You are correct, I am still in my bedroom. I will return momentarily. (T-T)
AO: . . . . .it was Heracles-senpai in my living room, and I have no idea how he got inside my house. . . .(/o＼)
PB: this fight of yours is dumb. just go kiss him and apologize. I'm sure everything will turn out okay.
AO: Wow. . .are you sure, Alfred-san?(゜〇゜;)
AO: WAIT! ファックス! Neither of us stated we were dating! How did you know?ι(｀ロ´)ノ
PB: I had my suspicions, and you just confirmed them. :D
AO: Oh. I'll take you up on your advice. Um. . .goodbye. Let's pretend this conversation never happened. ( -3- )
PB: agreed. bye!
apprehensiveOtaku [AO ] ceased pestering patrioticBurgers [PB]
"Well that was odd." Alfred backed away from his computer and got dressed. Just as he was putting on his typical day - off black tennis shoes, his computer dinged once more.
Oh for the love of God. No. Please don't let it be that British loony.
But of course, Alfred had known it would be Arthur. The obnoxious green text was a dead give away. Besides, it's not like anyone else would bother with such a lame chum handle. What did thaumaturgic mean, anyway?
thaumaturgicScones [TS] began pestering patrioticBurgers [PB]
TS: 'ELLO GIT.
PB: what do you want, you wrinkly old teabag?
TS: I BELIEVE MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK AND I REQUIRE ASSISTANCE
PB: bro you always type in capitals, what do you really want?
TS: I BET ALLISTOR €200 THAT YOU COULD LIFT A CAR
PB: you and I both know that I easily can.
PB: so I'm not gonna help you cheat your jackass older brother.
TS: WHY THE BLOOD 'ELL NOT?
PB: I hate that Scottish douche and everything, but I hate you more. : D
TS: WANKER
PB: limey
thaumaturgicScones [TS] ceased pestering patrioticBurgers [PB]
God, how Alfred wished he could just have a day off without being bothered, even if it was by his friends.
The computer dinged yet again.
Oh goodness gracious, it's Saturday! I just wanted coffee and waffles, why the heck am I so popular today? Drama? Thank you, no. I've had plenty.
This next chum handle with the pinkish-red text seemed so familiar, but the American saw it fairly infrequently, so he didn't remember who owned it.
flamatoryPhoenix [FP] began pestering patrioticBurgers [PB]
PB: uh hey, who is this?
FP: feliks, duh.
PB: oh hey. I kinda forgot.
FP: lol. vhatever, not the important.
FP: vith all seriousness though, i feel compelled to enlighten you by stating that:
FP: i know you and many others think i'm the homosexual.
FP: and there's nothing wrong vith being like that,
FP: but i'm straight. and going out vith elizabetha.
FP: in conclusion, just because i like the girl's clothes and pink does not make me gay. i like to fuck girls.
PB: congrats on the girlfriend! she's a real keeper! I guess myself and the others need to learn to not judge a book by it's cover. huh, Feliks?
FP: totally. now if you'll excuse me,i need to pee. see you next time, dobranoc!
flamatoryPhoenix [FP] ceased pestering patrioticBurgers [PB]
"Well, today has been interesting." Alfred looked at the clock. It read 10:33 am. He abruptly turned off the computer. "That has been more than enough internet for the day." Alfred finally went downstairs to eat at last.