Hey everyone! So, after watching the Smackdown Draft last night and getting all of the feels (my poor Ambreigns babies splitting up ), this was kind of begging to be written.
As usual, written with no beta reader, but hopefully it should be okay!
For anyone interested in Only Human, I have the plan for the next chapter down, I just have to write it, so hopefully that should be out in the next few days! (Apologies for the delay!)
Italics is internal thoughts as per.
If you would like to leave any reviews, comments, critiques or prompts for future fics, then please don't hesitate to let me know below!
Hope you enjoy!
"With our first pick this evening, Raw would like to pick Seth Rollins!"
"The Smackdown Live very first pick is the current and future WWE Champion, Dean Ambrose!"
xxxxxxxx
The atmosphere backstage was tense, electric with nerves as the majority of the roster positioned themselves around the monitors that sat in catering.
It had been quiet. Too quiet.
The smattering of applause that followed the first two picks should have broken the thrum of anxiety, both Dean and Seth giving faint grins and nods to their friends and colleagues who came to congratulate them.
It should have made it easier for Dean to keep himself grounded, Seth's fingers occasionally brushing and briefly tangling with Dean's between their two chairs.
A silent plea from the younger man to remember that this was just business.
This didn't change anything. It didn't change them.
After a few deep breaths to calm himself down, Dean leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he began gnawing irritably on his finger nails.
In comparison to Dean, Seth was remarkably collected. There may have been the softest tremor running through his fingers, but he looked for all the world as if he was just watching the news.
Of course all three of them had discussed the various possibilities; they would have been stupid not to. This was big after all; different schedules, different shows, different tours, it all meant less time together.
Less time together. Less opportunities to be together.
Their relationship was fragile enough as it was.
When Seth had returned at Extreme Rules, Dean had been terrified.
Terrified because he knew how much Seth had meant to Roman. Terrified because even though Dean had managed to just about patch up the soul deep cracks that threatened to splinter whenever Roman told him that Seth wasn't going to break them apart, Dean knew that Seth's return was going to irreversibly alter his relationship with Roman.
Terrified because as much as Roman still loved Seth, Dean did too.
Despite everything that had happened between them – the betrayal, the constant separation, the screaming and shouting and fighting and bleeding and crying, god so much bleeding and crying whenever Dean was alone and he could finally stop pretending that he wasn't tearing apart at the seams – it was impossible to deny that both Dean and Roman still felt.
When Seth had come to find them both in their locker room that very same night, his brash cockiness and arrogance left at the door like a discarded coat, his words soft and remorseful as he talked of the months of thinking and regretting what could have been if it had not been for that one fateful June night…
Seeing just how quickly Roman accepted Seth's apologies and pleas for them to be friends, brothers - Dean knew he wasn't the only one to hear the word 'lover' implicit in Seth's hushed and guilty tone – it had warmed and hurt him in unison.
But Dean trusted Roman.
Dean had trusted Roman to pick up the pieces after Seth destroyed him and his faith in people.
Dean had trusted Roman with his heart, trusted Roman with his very body every night both in the ring and out.
Dean had trusted Roman just a little bit more every day when the older man kept his insecurities from crumbling his walls, when Roman kept every ounce of pain and every agonising memory from his past secured tight under lock and key.
Dean still trusted Roman with that key.
He trusted that Roman knew what he was doing, trusted his judgments and his instincts, trusted Roman to keep him safe.
And if Roman could trust Seth enough to let him back into their lives – albeit at arm's length to begin with – then Dean could trust Seth too.
It had been painfully slow progress at times, Dean too distrusting and unwilling despite Roman's gentle encouragement to let Seth in.
He'd been jealous almost; as Seth had wormed his way in further, Dean had just burrowed deeper. It was no longer just Dean and Roman, it was Dean and Roman and Seth seeping in like a virus.
It felt like Dean was constantly carving himself open and ripping away pieces of his own flesh and blood whenever he reluctantly agreed to Roman and Seth spending some personal time together to rekindle their half of their increasingly stable relationship.
Now, whenever Seth's name was mentioned, Dean saw the flickers of affection replacing the hatred in Roman's eyes. Dean saw the shy smile tugging at Roman's lips. Dean saw the bruised bites and flushed caramel skin, the air thick with the smell of sex and sweat and Seth…
The first time, Dean had run to the bathroom to be violently ill.
Seth had always been an open wound in Dean's chest, but now it was festering. Oozing. Gutting Dean from the inside out. Seth was an infection, and no matter how much Roman tried to treat him, tried to reassure Dean of his love and his devotion to the younger man, Dean could only grow weaker as he viciously supressed his spiralling instability and self-loathing.
Of course, Roman and Seth both knew what Dean was doing.
That didn't mean that things were easy. Even after nearly three months, Dean still felt like he had been punched in the gut whenever Roman and Seth shared those gazes and moments that used to be reserved for just Dean. Dean still panicked and lashed out and worked himself into frenzies of paranoia whenever he could feel Seth treading into firmly out-of-bounds territory.
Now though, these times were more often than not overshadowed by the growing affection and respect that the three of them were nurturing.
Dean no longer felt sick whenever Seth touched him, or ran his fingers tenderly through Dean's messy hair. He no longer felt inclined to challenge Seth and Roman when the three of them were laying in bed together; Dean always in the middle, Roman behind him with his arms snug around his hips, Seth in front of him with his head resting softly on Dean's chest, their legs always tangled together.
Now, when Seth kissed him, Dean would actually kiss back; the genuinely open smiles he received in reply by both men made his heart just a little bit lighter.
Dean wouldn't go so far as to say that he outright trusted Seth, that there were still times when Dean would instantly revert to hostility and anger out of habit instead of talking shit through, but it had looked as if things were finally reaching a status quo Dean could work with.
Until tonight of course.
The three of them knew that the chances of them all being branded together was almost as likely as Vince McMahon finally retiring, but there had always been that little flicker of optimism, that hope that the universe would decide to stop screwing them over.
It was a naïve longshot, but Dean couldn't help but dream. The very real possibility of being separated from one or worse both Roman and Seth wasn't one that Dean wanted to entertain for even a moment. He was the WWE Champion after all; Seth and Roman were both major contenders for the gold, so surely at least one of them would go with him to continue that rivalry, right?
However, as more and more draft picks were revealed, as Smackdown went to its first match, Dean couldn't help the nausea roiling in his gut. As bad as he kind of felt, he'd always rather have Roman with him than Seth, regardless of how much their relationship had improved recently; that didn't mean that it would be an easy pill to swallow either way.
The show returned from commercial break.
Stephanie and Mick were back onscreen.
Someone behind him shushed abruptly, cutting off the murmured chatting.
"…I'm here to show that our pick, that you will respect my opinions and sometimes that we'll agree to disagree, as is the case with our Raw draft pick…"
Dean bit down on his bottom lip nervously, his heart in his throat.
"Welcome to Raw…"
Dean closed his eyes tight.
"…Roman Reigns!"
Silence.
Oh God no…
No one moved.
No no no no…
Seth slowly stood up, wiping a hand roughly down his face, before walking away. He didn't even look at Dean once.
Dean was alone.
He was by himself.
They'd taken Roman from him. They'd taken away the one constant light in his life and given him to Seth. No more Dean and Roman. No more Roman. It was just him…
This couldn't be happening.
The backstage area was still deadly quiet, the harsh noise of the television monitors seeming to echo around the whole building.
Dean couldn't breathe.
A few hands settled on his back and Dean's head whipped round. His eyes were wide, frantic, his lips red and swollen. Sami and Kevin were stroking his shoulders cautiously, as if he was a caged animal that would attack at any moment. Dean couldn't hold back the bitter, almost hysterical laugh he let out, everyone around him freezing.
Dean's entire body was shaking, his head spinning. It wasn't until Sami negotiated the chairs to get in front of him and ran his thumbs gingerly along Dean's cheeks that Dean realised he was crying. His entire chest went tight, bile burning in the back of his throat as others warily backed away, turning their attentions back to the screens as a hubbub of murmurs broke the silence. Dean didn't know if it was out of respect for him, or because they were scared of him, but Dean couldn't care.
He could vaguely make out the sounds of Sami and Kevin whispering around him, but nothing was sinking in. Nothing was grounding him. He felt floaty and disconnected, the red hot lancing pain skewering his chest the only thing he could feel.
He vaguely recognised Kevin saying something about a panic attack, but the words didn't register. He needed Roman. Roman could fix this. Roman could tell him this was all just a mistake. He needed Roman. He wanted Roman. Roman, Roman, Roman…
The rush of thoughts were derailed when Sami leaned forward, staring at him sadly.
"Dean, Roman isn't here."
Had he been saying that out loud?
"Dean," Kevin's voice was much gruffer than Sami's was. "Dude, snap the fuck out of it. You've got a match against Seth, for your championship. Don't let this destroy you, you need your head in the game."
Seth?
Seth.
The same Seth who now had Roman all to himself on Raw.
The way that Seth had probably always wanted it.
The penny dropped.
This was all Seth's fault.
Seth, who had betrayed him in the first place, who had ripped him to pieces and tried to end his career. Seth, who had fucking weaselled his way back into Roman's life so goddamn easily and managed to wriggle his way into their relationship, convincing him and Roman that he loved both of them equally.
Lies. All goddamn fucking lies. This was all just part of Seth's plans to get back to the top. Once a bastard, always a bastard.
Dean clenched his fists tightly.
He knew that he was probably being unfair, his anxiety and paranoia coming full force to the surface, but he couldn't stop it. He needed someone to blame for all of this. He needed this, because otherwise, he was going to crumble. He was going to self-destruct. He was going to have a breakdown – he already was if his rapid breathing and now streaming tears continue – and all because Seth had finally managed to find a way to get his hands on the one thing that he had always wanted.
He needed Roman. It was the desperate beg throbbing through his veins, clawing at the very bottom of his gut. He'd never wanted to hear Roman's voice so badly in his entire life; if it wasn't for his upcoming match, Dean would have quite easily absconded, finding somewhere quiet where he could ring Roman and open up and expose the sheer agony to the one man he loved more than life itself.
However, he also needed to get his hands on Seth. It was the blistering anger and panic and torrent of emotions beating in his very heart. No wonder Seth had immediately left after the announcement; he probably knew that Dean would work out his scheme.
Dean knew which one he preferred, but he was the WWE Champion goddamn it. He had a duty to uphold, a title to defend.
Pushing Sami and Kevin away, Dean stood up, kicking his chair hard before stalking away. He could hear the two Canadians calling after him; he appreciated their concern, he really did, but right now all he wanted to feel was the fiery anger burning him to ash from the inside out.
Seth had already laid the groundwork to take Roman from him. Being champion was the only thing Dean had left that he could rely on.
And goddamn it, Dean roared as he entered the Gorilla area, grabbing anything that wasn't nailed down and lobbing it as hard as he could, Seth wasn't taking that from him too.
If Seth thought that he could ruin Dean's life in one fell swoop tonight, then he was in for a fucking surprise. Dean was going to ruin him. He was going to let the venom and the fury absolutely destroy his body, and he was going to take Seth down with him.
Then, he was leaving. Fuck any and all commitments. Fuck everyone and everything.
He was leaving, and going home.
To Roman.
His Roman.
And then, he could finally breathe.
