So, this is a Kyon centric fanfic, also the first story I have decided to upload. I've started on a few others but they kind of got put on hold. I'm looking for feedback to let me know how much to continue on with this story. I've got a pretty good idea where I want this story to end up, but the more feedback I get, the longer it'll go. So, enjoy the story, and let me know what you think!
Chapter I - New Recruits
The sound of the bell ringing echoed through the school, and unfortunately disturbed my peaceful slumber. Raising my head, I looked around groggily to realize it was the end of yet another school day.
Our teacher went on rambling about homework or something, not that I was really listening, so I just packed up all my stuff and made my way out of the classroom.
Traipsing mindlessly through the halls on my way to the clubroom, I came to a somewhat disturbing and unsettling reality. I had become dependant on the SOS Brigade. As much as I hated to admit it, the ritual known as the SOS Brigade had become as much a part of my daily life as my precious sleep. The room with Nagato reading quietly in the corner, Miss Asahina making her sweet and delicious tea, and even that smiling freak Koizumi had become a comfortable and relatively enjoyable environment. Although, missing from this eclectic gathering was the chief, our caring totalitarian leader. The head of the SOS Brigade herself, Haruhi Suzumiya.
If she wasn't busy harassing poor Miss Asahina in one of many ways, she was ordering me around like some kind of slave, as if I were her own personal servant. Although when I think about, that is more or less what I have become. Haruhi has come to use me, or not come to use me, ever since we first met she has used me however she saw fit, which is usually not a good thing for me. Although I am one of the founders of the SOS Brigade (albeit reluctantly), somehow I am the lowest ranking member, and I doubt that will ever change. The only reason that kiss-ass Koizumi is respected by Haruhi is because he does whatever she wants without question, and with that damn smile plastered on his face to boot.
In the end, I'm forced to do whatever Haruhi demands of me, but I figure if I put up some kind of resistance it will give me the illusion that I still have a choice in the matter. Ultimately though, I will become nothing more than Haruhi's courier/pack mule by the day's end, despite my best efforts.
Even if I had become Haruhi's servant, I have to admit that my life has become much more exciting since I met Haruhi and was press ganged into what is now the SOS Brigade. I have met an esper, a time traveler, and an alien. I've learned that Haruhi is some sort of God apparently, and I've had more fun than I can remember having in a long time. All that aside, I could do without the slave treatment…
Before I knew it I had arrived at the door to the club room, if you could call it that. I still fail to see how we qualify as a club, all we do is get dragged around the city by Haruhi catching cicadas and eating occasionally, and when we do eat I always have to pay…
The most club related activities we've ever done is hand out fliers at the school entrance, and that was only Miss Asahina and Haruhi standing around in bunny suits. That went over very well…
Oh well, most likely today will just be another uneventful day at the clubroom. At least I'll be able to kick Koizumi's ass at chess.
With that thought I opened the door, and was greeted with a familiar scene, just as I expected. Nagato was reading quietly in the corner, as if no one else was in the room at all, Miss Asahina was dressed in her maid outfit brewing some tea, and Koizumi was sitting at the table with his usual plastic smile.
"Yo." I said expressionlessly as I closed the door behind me.
"Good afternoon Kyon. Would you like to play a match of chess?" Koizumi asked as he held up the board.
"Sure." With that, I took my seat across from him at the table while he began to set up the board.
I was able to pass some amount of time in peace and quiet, and I was destroying Koizumi at chess. Awesome. You'd think he'd be getting better with how often we play, but I guess not. It was my turn again and I chuckled to myself as I took his queen.
"Oh dear, it appears you've gained quite the upper hand, doesn't it Kyon?"
"Yeah." I muttered, but isn't that obvious? I wish that he would wipe that smile of his face for once. No matter what happens it's just plastered there 24/7. Even if he is about to lose this game… Oh well, at least I'll have the satisfaction that I won. I watched again as he moved another piece to its inevitable demise.
"Would you two like some tea?" The angelic voice of Miss Asahina called to us.
"Why yes, thank you Miss Asahina." Koizumi answered as she placed two cups on the table.
"If you want anymore, just let me know." She smiled, and with that she returned to her tea set.
Ah Miss Asahina's tea, it never failed to brighten my day and make me smile. As I sipped on the tea I felt my entire body warm, as if the tea were my life-force. Ah, I could die a happy man now…
Seemingly on queue to interrupt my lone moment of happiness, the harbinger of my problems and the root cause of my misery burst through the door with so much vigour that I choked on my tea. I guess I should be used to this by now.
"Alright SOS Brigade!" Haruhi shouted (as usual), "We are going to have an emergency meeting right now!"
Marching with authority through the room, she took a stance in front of her desk, hands on hips with a glare in her eyes. That's never a good thing.
"Alright now, let's get down to business! Kyon! Do you know what this Brigade is missing?"
I really hate it when Haruhi asks me questions like this. First of all I really couldn't care less, and no matter what I say I'm always wrong. There's just no pleasing you Haruhi Suzumiya.
"I don't know, why don't you ask Koizumi?" I figured there was no way to end this little discussion with victory, so I just decided to end it as quickly as possible, and hopefully passing the question off to Koizumi will fluster him, although that seems unlikely.
"Hmph, unacceptable Kyon! How dare you disappoint your brigade leader like that! I'm going to have to give you a punishment! Koizumi, I hope you have a better answer than Kyon!" she demanded as she scowled at me and turned her attention to the esper.
"Unfortunately I do not know what the club is lacking either Miss Suzumiya." Koizumi replied apologetically. "I'm terribly sorry."
"Well, since we have no time to waste I guess I'll just tell you!" Haruhi exclaimed as she placed her hand back on her hips.
Wait a second, how come I'm the only one who gets a penalty? Koizumi didn't give any suggestions either! That kiss-ass will get what's coming to him sooner or later, but I won't question Haruhi about this, I've learned that it's futile to question her rule long ago.
"We, the SOS Brigade, need to recruit more members!" An unsettling smile spread across her face as she finished her statement.
Well, here we are again, the time where Haruhi demands that we find more members. Our club has experienced this before, and it has always ended in absolute failure. Apart from us five no one has wanted to join the SOS Brigade, and even stating that we all wanted to be members is far from the truth.
I was forced into service because the fate of the world is at state, and if I had declined the "generous offer" we would have all died.
Miss Asahina joined as a direct result of Haruhi's slavery, apparently because the group was in need of a cute mascot. While I'm not going to argue with Haruhi's choice of candidate, it's just wrong to force someone to join a club, especially if the club is like the SOS Brigade.
Koizumi is here because of his mysterious organization. For some bizarre reason they chose him, out of all the possible espers, to watch closely over Haruhi. Although I have come to think that him being here may be a result of Haruhi simply wanting someone who is superior to me in every aspect (except board games) to piss me off all the time.
Nagato is here for a similar reason to Koizumi, but it seems as if she just… is there. She was the only remaining member of the literature club, and when Haruhi decided to seize control of this room, she just stayed, as if she were an accessory that came with the space.
Out of the four subordinates only two seem like they really don't mind being part of the club.
Koizumi just takes whatever Haruhi dishes out, compliments her on her terrible ideas, and encourages her no matter what she does. I guess it's fair to say that he is content being here, considering he will kiss anyone's ass.
Nagato may not be on the same level as Koizumi, but I can't say that she objects to being a member of the club either. I imagine it would be hard for her though, considering she is an alien and her purpose (from what I can understand at least) is to collect data on Haruhi.
The bottom line is that if not all of the current members of the club want to be a part of it in the first place, why go looking for more people to force into service against? I though slavery had already been abolished.
"Look at what has become of the mighty SOS Brigade!" Haruhi snapped me back to reality with her ramblings. "All we do here everyday is sit around! The purpose of the SOS Brigade is to find all sorts of unusual things in the world, and to accomplish this we need more members!"
It became obvious to me that no one was going to step up and halt this madness, I mean look who I have to back me up here.
Koizumi, no way would he go against Haruhi's wishes, he believes that she's God. Nope he'll do whatever he can to suck up to her, pointing out a flaw in one of her ridiculous plans is out of the question.
Miss Asahina, she's too terrified of Haruhi to even help herself, it's really not fair of me to rely on her to help me out of this situation.
Nagato, while she could do anything, including stop this without any effort at all, I'm sure she would say that actions such as those would bring about some natural disaster some time over the course of the next 10 000 years. Nope, her job here is to observe Haruhi, not to make my life easier.
"Haruhi," I began, "we tried this before remember? You and Miss Asahina stood outside the school gates handing out fliers to try to promote the club, remember how well that turned out?"
"I don't mean doing that again!" she exclaimed, "The school had a problem with that or something, so we need to do things differently this time!"
"Haruhi I don't think that's the main issue here. Don't you think that if anyone wanted to join our club they would have by now?"
"I have to agree with Kyon Miss Suzumiya." Koizumi interjected, "The SOS Brigade is fairly well-known, and any possible members most likely would have contacted us already."
"Hmph, well this is no good! Even if we could get just one more member, someone like Kyon, I would be happy." She sighed as she sat down on her desk.
Did she just say that she wants another member in the SOS Brigade that's like me? Did she mean that as a compliment? Because that would be the first time I've heard, well, anything positive about me from her. This is incredible! Haruhi is saying that I'm actually an asset to this club. (I really should have known better than that).
"I mean we really do need someone else here to do the dirty work. Every time I send Kyon out on an errand he fails miserably!"
Yeah I thought something was up, I should have known that Haruhi would never openly compliment me on anything, and what does she mean when she says I can never complete her errands? I do my best!
"Sorry that I don't complete your tasks to your liking, but why can't you get Koizumi to help with that kind of stuff?" I questioned gruffly.
"There's no way Koizumi could do any of that! He's way too high-ranking to bother himself with such menial tasks." She stated blatantly. "That's what you're here for Kyon! Do I have to spell out everything for you?" She finished, crossing her arms and giving me a frustrated look.
Well, I already knew that I was the slave of the SOS Brigade, and I could live with that, but to have Haruhi tell me that Koizumi, that smug bastard was too good to help me with all my menial tasks was taking it too far. But I'm in no mood to get into a fruitless argument with Haruhi right now, let's just move on.
I simply sighed heavily and turned my attention away from Haruhi, hoping to end this ridiculous discussion quickly, and it seemed as if my technique worked, although that might be a bit of a stretch. What's more likely is that Haruhi got frustrated and didn't want to talk to me anymore, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
"Well that's it for today brigade members, I'm going home! We'll talk about this again tomorrow, don't be late or there will be a penalty!" Haruhi said, as she grabbed her bag and shuffled out the door.
"Have a good evening Miss Suzumiya." Koizumi said as Haruhi left. What a sell out.
"Well I'll be off now too then. Have a good night everyone." Koizumi finished as he closed the door behind him.
I gave him a half-hearted wave as he left, then I looked back to the table where our chess game sat, still in mid phase. Damn that Koizumi, he left before I could finishing bringing about his ultimate and absolute destruction!
Reluctantly I packed up the chess game in its box and placed it back on the shelf. I can always beat him again tomorrow, right? I really had no reason to stick around any longer, so I decided it would be best to head home and get to sleep.
"I'm going home too, see you all tomorrow."
"Good bye." Came the monotone response from Nagato, who didn't even look up from her book.
"Good night Kyon, be careful on your way home." Miss Asahina said as she waved.
I waved back to them both as I walked out the door and slowly made my way to the entrance of the school.
Making my way down the hill, the long hill, I questioned why this hill was even here. It was such a pain to have to walk up this hill in the morning, and even if going down it was much easier, it was still too big in my opinion. Maybe I could convince Haruhi to dislike this hill too, so she would change it. I've never heard her complain about this hill though, and it's too much of a challenge to change her mind about anything. Either way this is too much to think about.
Making the rest of the way home in mental silence was kind of peaceful. I don't get much of a chance to relax anymore with Haruhi around, so it's nice whenever I can get the respite.
Arriving back home I made my way up to my room as quickly as possible, the last thing I wanted right now was to get roped into some game with my little sister and shamisen.
I dropped my bag by the door, hung up my uniform and let myself fall onto my bed. I feared what Haruhi's discussion would bring tomorrow, and shuddered at the thought or more people joining the SOS Brigade. If anyone new were to join it would mean that they actually enjoy what Haruhi does, anyone who's like Haruhi spells bad news for me.
Then I remembered what Haruhi said, "someone like Kyon". I guess wouldn't mind if there was someone else like me in the SOS Brigade, at least then there would be another sane and normal human to talk to. I'm sure they'd understand how ridiculous Haruhi's schemes are too. Wouldn't hurt if it was a cute girl either, maybe even one with a ponytail…
And with that thought, I drifted off to sleep, not knowing at all what the following morning would bring.
Well, there it is, the first chapter. Next one should be up very, very shortly. Leave a review if you feel like it, it'll help this story to grow!