"No Quinn, I'm not coming to your weird family's barbeque." Santana said into her phone for what felt like the millionth time.
"Please? I can't be alone in the same place as all of them for a whole day! They're crazy!" Quinn begged desperately.
"Which is why I said no. A hundred times." Santana replied casually.
"You're my best friend San! How many times have I been there for you? Hm? Do you know how much shit I have to put up with being your best friend?" Quinn asked angrily.
"I have to put up with just as much shit as you Fabray and you know it!" Santana shot back.
"Believe me, I'm an easier friend to have, you need come with some sort of manual! A how-to guide for Santana Lopez, one that lists all the different things that can make you self destruct!"
"Ha ha very funny. If I came with a manual it'd clearly state that I should NOT be taken to any of Quinn Fabray's crazy-ass family parties!"
"When did you become such a bitch?"
"Around the same time you became a controlling, whiney, know-it-all, asshole."
Neither said a word, both just sat in their respective houses hearing the other breath.
"Sooo I'll come get you around ten?" Quinn asked.
"Call before you get here." Santana replied.
"Fine. Bye."
Santana ended the call and crawled in her bed. She needed her rest if she had to face a hoard of Quinn's family tomorrow. Last time she went to one of these things she ended up loosing an eyebrow. Lesson learned: never nod off around Quinn's annoying cousins even for a second. She's lucky she woke up when she did, the electric razor was getting too close to her head for comfort.
Santana finished blow drying her hair right as her phone rang.
"Q." She said answering her cell.
"I'll be there in twenty." Was Quinn's reply.
"Fine." Santana said.
"Bye."
"Bye."
Santana quickly rummaged though her closet looking for something that would make her look hot, (so what if they're all a bunch of psychos? That didn't mean she couldn't look good.) but she wouldn't be too upset if something were to get spilled on it, or thrown, dropped, kicked, or splattered.
She settled for a deep purple tube top with a half jacket and a pair of skinny jeans that made her ass look amazing. She finished it with her black boots, a small heart necklace and her aviator sunglasses.
She eyed herself in the mirror and smirked, yeah she looked hot. She applied light make-up. Just enough to accent her features. She grabbed her purse, about to leave her room, when she decided she'd better be on the safe side and found the pepper spray she hid in her drawer. Just incase those little brats tried to pull anything.
Quinn's car horned blared outside her house so she made her way to the door as slow as possible. She walked through the living room and picked her keys up off the table. She walked outside locking her house, and ran to Quinn's car.
"Do you have to be so slow?" Quinn asked annoyed.
"Shut it Q. Lets just get this over with."
"I can't believe my moms making me go. I missed the past three years! Why all the sudden does she want me to go?"
"Who knows? Your moms crazy too, so that could be it." Santana replied.
"Bitch." Quinn muttered.
"But you love me." She said smugly. Quinn just rolled her eyes, cranked the music and they drove the rest of the way singing at the top of there lungs.
They pulled up to Quinn's uncles house an hour later and stepped out immediately being assaulted by loud unnerving music that made both wish they could get back in the car and speed as far away as possible.
"Alright. Lets do this." Santana said. Quinn nodded and led the way into the house.
"Quinny!" Her mom yelled upon seeing her walk through the door. She ran over and hugged her daughter, then turned to Santana to do the same.
"Come with me, everyone is in the backyard, I want you to see your cousins, they're all so grown up!" Ms. Fabray squealed dragging the girls behind her. Santana stiffed, the horrible memories of Quinn's evil cousins taking over her mind.
"Quinn, I swear, if one of those monsters so much as looks at me funny I will steal your car and leave you here." Santana threatened. Quinn rolled her eyes about to reply but her mother stopped causing the two girls to run into her.
"Quinny bear, you remember your cousins Alex and Patrick." Ms. Fabray said nodding to the boys standing in front of them.
"Uh yeah…" Quinn said awkwardly. Santana looked at each boy in turn, she recognized Alex as one of the boys who thought it'd be funny to chase her around with a dead bird the year before the eyebrow incident.
"And this is Quinn's friend Santana. You might remember her, she's been to a few of the gatherings." Ms. Fabray said looking at Santana.
"Yeah. We've met." Was all Santana said as she glared at the blonde headed boy. He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.
"Wonderful!" Ms. Fabray clapped, completely oblivious to the hostility radiating off Santana, "Why don't you four get reacquainted hm?" She said as she scurried off, probably in search of more devil children.
"So…you guys are what? Fifteen now?" Quinn as totally uninterested in their responses.
"Well, I'm fifteen, Patrick is fourteen." Alex said, trying to ignore Santana.
"Cool." Quinn said, looking around, trying to find anyone else.
"You chased me with a bird." Santana stated still glaring at Alex.
"Th-that was you?" He asked horrified.
"A dead bird." Was all she said in reply, she turned and pulled Quinn with her.
"I hate your family." Santana said.
"Whatever. Lets just try to make it through the day unscathed."
"Cross your fingers."
They made there way to a table and sat hoping to just stay there until the day way over.
"Well if it isn't little Quinn." A woman said coming to the two girls.
"Hi Aunt Karen." Quinn said. The redheaded woman brought Quinn into a bear hug, Santana looked at Quinn's surprised expression and tried to hold back her snickering.
"And who's this?" Aunt Karen said finally releasing the girl.
"My friend Santana." Santana was about to say hi when the woman gave her a hug as well, which left Quinn laughing quietly.
"So how are you two enjoying the party?" She asked.
"It's great." Quinn said.
"Yep, a real rager." Santana said. Aunt Karen didn't notice the sarcasm dripping from their tones.
"Terrific! Why don't you two come with me and say hello to some more of the family?" Santana and Quinn looked at each other with the same expression of dread, before being pulled against their will into the crowd.
There was hugging, lots of hugging. Santana was constantly being eyed up and down by the boys, and some of the men, and Quinn was getting her cheeks pinched. There was glaring, done by both, and sarcastic remarks. Mostly by Santana.
"I hate you so much right now. Your cousins may be older but they're still the offspring of the devil. And if one more says I'm hot I might just have to punch him." Santana seethed when they finally got a break.
"Well, at least you're not related to them. I mean, look at that! They're actually getting ready to have a family sing-along!" Quinn groaned.
"The only good thing, is no ones spilled anything on me yet. This has to be some sort of record." Santana said. Turns out, she spoke to soon. She turned around to follow Quinn's lead when someone ran into her, spilling something down her front.
"Shit! What the hell, watch where you're going next time!" Santana yelled as she looked up to find her assailant. In front of her was a girl with clear blue eyes and golden hair that was shining in the sunlight. Santana's breath caught and she momentarily forgot how to breath.
"Oh my gosh! I'm so so sorry! I didn't even see you there!" The girl said apologizing profusely.
"No, no it's okay, I wasn't um watching where I was going." Santana said when she finally found her voice.
"I really am sorry, I can be such a klutz." She said, a worried look still covering her pretty features.
"Really, it's okay. It's just water. Believe me, worse things have been spilled on me at these affairs." Santana said. Next to her Quinn coughed gaining her friends, and the girls, attention.
"Oh hi! Quinn right? It's been forever." The girl said smiling at the other blonde.
"Uh yeah…sorry I don't really remember you…" Quinn said.
"That's okay. I think the last time we saw each other was when we were twelve. I'm Brittany. Our parents had some sort of falling out I guess? Anyways this is the first family thing I've been to since then." Brittany explained.
"Right! Brittany. Yeah I remember you. It's kinda weird that you're my moms sisters kid and we barely know each other." Quinn said.
"Wait! You two are related?" Santana asked finally putting two and two together.
"Um yeah," Brittany giggled, "our parents just didn't get along for a while. I think they're okay now though."
"One second Brittany." Santana said pulling Quinn out of earshot.
"You never told me you have a hot cousin!" Santana said annoyed.
"You never asked! Plus, how was I suppose to know? I haven't seen her in years." Quinn said. Santana huffed and dragged her back to Brittany.
"Sorry about that." Santana said.
"It's okay, " Brittany replied smiling, "so have you been to one of these things before?" She asked.
"Yeah, a few times…"Santana said trying to keep her snaky remarks to herself.
"I think I met you once. You had paint all over you." Brittany said laughing. Santana grew red.
"Yeah…well, some of these little punks thought it'd be a good idea to turn me into a human painting." Santana mumbled irritated at the memory, and the fact that Brittany saw her like that. Even if they were just kids at the time.
"Santana has been tortured mercilessly every time I've brought her to this." Quinn said.
"Yeah and little Quinny over here just lets them while she goes off somewhere and hides!" Santana pushed her friend slightly for good measure.
"I know what you mean. These kids are dangerous." Brittany said warily.
"Quinn!" Ms. Fabray called to her daughter motioning for her to come over.
"God what now?" She groaned, "come on San." Quinn said tugging her friend.
"What? No! I wanna stay here." Santana said pouting.
"Actually, I have to go find my little sister, but I'll see you later, kay?" Brittany said, a hopeful look on her face. Santana forgot how to breath again and just nodded.
"Awesome!" Brittany said and walked away into the crowd. Quinn rolled her eyes.
"Don't worry San. I'm sure my "hot cousin" won't be going anywhere. Now lets go see what my mom wants." She said towing Santana along.