TITLE: I'm Sorry
AUTHOR: JackValentine
BETA: residentreject619
PAIRING: A-Ry/The Miz
RATING: PG-13
GENRE: Songfic, angst, romance
SIZE: Mini
WARNINGS: None
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The song in Brokencyde – I'm Sorry. This song is sooo sad I almost cry every time I listen to it T-T
DISCLAIMER: Do not own the guys (I wish I did ^^)
The rain it drips the rain drops drip down
The rain it drips the rain drops drip down
The rain it drips the rain drops drip down
The rain it drips the rain drops drip down
I feel the raindrops fall
These tears won't take you away,
I'm sorry
I hear the thunder scream
It's screaming out for me,
I'm sorry
Mike was lying on his bed, looking at the raindrops flowing all over the window glass and listening to the rustling sound of rain. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking. And he couldn't cry. It seemed like the rain took all his tears away. Mike turned over once again with a sigh.
Miz was looking at the guy lying beside him. He was beautiful. Absolutely perfect. Mike reached for him and stroked his ideal naked body with a hand. The guy turned around and smiled. Miz could see the sparkle in the other man's bright blue eyes. But suddenly this ghostly formation started becoming more and more transparent and then finally disappeared.
Mizanin opened his eyes abruptly with a spastic whisper leaving his lips: "Kevin…"
He looked at the other side of the bed. Empty. Just like every night in the past 2 weeks. It was a dream. Again.
The only real thing was that god damn rain.
I fell asleep again,
When will this tempest end,
I'm sorry
I dreamt that you were here,
Lying next to me,
I'm sorry.
The reality was that they broke up 2 weeks ago. Mike was the one who wanted it. And now he was the one who desperately wanted the other man back. But he did nothing to paste their broken relationship back together. Partly because Miz was too high-minded to do that, but the main thing was that he knew, that he was going to be rejected. But after this dream repeating every night Mike didn't mind it.
Mizanin grabbed his phone and found Kevin's number in the contacts, which was still listed under the name "Baby boy", and started typing the text message with his fingers shivering slightly at the feeling that the lump in his throat was about to explode into tears.
"I love you. I'm sorry", - Mike typed and pressed "Send". But as soon as he did, he regretted doing it. Suddenly, Miz realized that it would change nothing. Kevin won't forgive him. Kevin won't come back. After all the pain Miz brought him, he will never forgive his ex. For the past two weeks Kiley was looking like a ghost, barely talking to anybody, barely making himself do his job. Suddenly, Mizanin realized that he took a huge period of time away from this man, not giving him back a thing, and then he was just gone and left his former lover completely alone, because for all this time Kevin was busy with Mike. He lost all his friends and couldn't imagine his life without his lover.
And Mike still couldn't cry, no matter how hard and extremely difficult to swallow the lump was becoming.
Suddenly, the notification appeared on the phone's screen.
"Error. The message can't be sent. It will be sent later"
Mike couldn't believe his eyes. Today his guardian angel decided to save him from being ashamed. Mizanin sighed again and closed his eyes, hoping to see that dream again, despite all the pain it brought him.
I finally realized,
That I fucked up your life.
So, I'm sorry
The rain it drips the rain drops drip down
The rain it drips the rain drops drip down
The rain it drips the rain drops drip down
The rain it drips the rain drops drip down
The next day, Mike was standing in the locker-room doorway, watching his ex, like a damn stalker, being embarrassed by each and every second of doing it, but still not being able to stop.
Kevin was looking a lot better, compared to last week. He was joking and laughing with Heath and Justin. Mike couldn't help it, but smiled. Kevin looked… Happy. This thought pricked Mike's heart painfully. It's not that he wanted Kiley to be unhappy, just the fact that Kevin was happy without him all of a sudden appeared very hurtful.
"He's so beautiful, - Mike thought, - On his own. Alone… Not mine anymore"
Miz sighed and finally forced himself to go back to the hotel.
Betrayed,
You hate me,
You look so pretty now
Without me.
Alone.
Mike was alone in his room again. Doing nothing, just like every evening since they broke up. But this time was different, because Miz couldn't get Kevin's happy smile, which didn't belong to him, out of his head. Mike couldn't stand it anymore. He took his phone and dialed the number, which was the first in his speed dial, despite that it was the only number in Mike's contact list which he remembered by heart.
Toot… One more… Again… Again…
Finally Mike heard Kevin's voice, which almost made him burst in tears, but the stone-hard lump didn't let him.
- What do you want? – The most beautiful voice on the Earth said.
- Kevin, I… I love…
- Don't, Mike! – Kevin shouted out with a trembling voice.
Mike was 99 percent sure, that his former lover was crying.
- I hate you! – Kiley screamed out, - I hate you! – He repeated and hung up.
Mike covered his eyes with one hand, still holding the phone in the other and dully listening to the short toots.
I'd die tonight,
If only you were here,
I'd tell you I'm sorry,
I'd fucking disappear
Kevin was lying on the hotel bed in the fetal position and crying. He felt so weak, so pathetic, so useless. "Why did he call? What did he want? He has already broken me, what else did he want?" – Kevin was repeating it like a mantra, trying to kick the thought that Mike may really love him out of his head.
Suddenly, his phone squealed. It was a text.
"I love you. I'm sorry"
From: Mikey.
For a couple of seconds Kevin was looking at the phone screen without any thoughts, but in a moment he started crying even harder and stopped denying the idea of Miz being in love with him, like if everything had changed, like if this text made sense. And of course he didn't look at the dispatch date.
Kevin got up, and not even bothering to put something on, right in his athletic shorts and an old t-shirt, crossed the room reaching the door. He wanted to see Mike. Right now.
As soon as Kiley opened the door and was ready to run out, he froze in surprise. The good-looking brunette was standing right in front of his door, with his hand raised, obviously ready to knock. A pained grimace was all over his handsome face, but it didn't spoil his appearance a tiniest bit.
For a moment Kiley couldn't move at all. Suddenly, all his feelings were undead. He realized, that it was the same Mike, Mikey, his sweet, beloved Mikey-boy standing in front of him, but still Kevin didn't know what to do with it, until the smaller man literally attacked him with the embrace, snuggled him and buried his face in his lover's chest. The blonde finally thawed and pressed Mike closer, nuzzling his hair, inhaling his aroma, kissing the temple of his head, as the other man was crying and sobbing desperately in his embrace, like a little baby, pressing closer to Kevin, grasping the back of his lover's t-shirt with his trembling fingers, whispering something and being interrupted by the sobs every time.
- Don't cry, Mikey, - Kevin whispered, - I love you too.
Your eyes,
They flow
From all the pain I caused.
I lost my cause,
I only broke your heart.
Alone I cry,
I tried so hard to break you,
I love you,
I hate you,
Why won't you let me go? ©