No one had known. They had no clue how close the two had become those last two years of high school. Everyone had just thought he had been another jock who needed tutering, and who better than the smartest person in school? Surely that was the extent. And since the incident had happened the day of graduation, no classes meant there was no reason to miss seeing him on regular basis.
There was no one but his parents to notice how he'd holed himself in his room for weeks afterwards. How he only came out to use the bathroom. His parents couldn't get him to come out for food, so his mother resorted to bringing him plates while attempting to find the source of their only child's deep depression. But how could he explain it to her? That it was his fault? That he was the reason the person he cared for the most in the world had ran through the crowd in fear, and out into the street. How he had heard the screeching tires as he'd run to catch up. How he'd turned into a yellow belly coward when he'd heard Nazz yell for someone to call 911, telling the man he had just asked to spend the rest of his life with him that it was going to be ok and to hold on.
He'd ran away then. He hadn't even been able to break through the last few people that had shielded his eyes from the scene because he couldn't bring himself to acknowledge what had happened.
Kevin sighed, rolling over in his bed to look at the calender on his wall. Tomorrow was the day. The first anniversary. A year had gone by and still, he barely got out of the house. Still, no one knew.
He reached over and opened his nightstand. His hand carefully pulled the small, black box out, cradling it like it would shatter at any moment. He hadn't been able to open it since that day. Wasn't even sure the ring was still in it. With a deep breath to steady himself, he forced himself to lift the lid. Both to his great joy and loathing, the ring was there. It wasn't special really, just his senior ring. But it had meant everything that day. It had meant coming out and claiming his lover as his. It had meant they would no longer be a secret, that they could be a normal couple, and damn the world if they had anything to say about it.
"Knock, Knock." Kevin looked up to see Nazz standing in his doorway. Her face was scrunched up as she took in his appearance. He hadn't shaved in weeks and he couldn't remember the last time he changed clothes, let alone shower. All that plus the red, swollen eyes from crying himself to sleep the night before. He knew he looked like shit, but honestly, he couldn't bring himself to care.
Nazz tip toed through the mess on his floor to come sit on the edge of his bed. She glanced at the ring box, seeing the ring inside it. "Been a while, Kev."
"Yeah, it has." He gingerly closed the box but kept it clutched in his fist. They sat in the quiet for a few moments, Kevin staring out his window and Nazz looking at him. Finally, Kevin sighed, tired of the awkwardness. "What do you want, Nazz? Shouldn't you be away at college?"
Her blonde eyebrow arched high on her forehead. "Shouldn't you? You were given a full ride on that baseball scholarship from UCLA last year but never went. You had been so excited when you got the letter, yet, here you are, wasting away."
Kevin rolled over, giving her his back. "I changed my mind, ok? I don't wanna talk any more about it."
"Well, I do! Everyone's been worried about you. You just haven't been right for months. Everytime I call to talk to you, your mom tells me you don't want to tallk. To me or anyone. That you just sit in here day in and day out, staring at the walls. Your worrying her and your dad to death, Kev."
When he continued to give her the silent treatment, she leaned over him and ripped the ring box from his grasp. He leapt up, attempting to snatch it back. "Give me that right fucking now!"
"You think Double D would want this for you?!"
He glared at her in shock and anger, stalking towards her. "I don't know what your talking about." He had her backed against his wall, the box hidden behind her back. "Now. Give. It. Back."
"You remember how I kept trying to talk to you after his funeral? Those weeks before I left for University but you wouldn't let me in your room to talk?"
"I don't give a damn about that, just give me back my ring!"
"He told me about you two that day..."
Some of the anger in Kevin's eyes disappeared, seemingly evaporating. "What?"
Nazz's eyes softened at the hurt in her best friend's voice. "While waiting for the ambulance, I had his head in my hands, trying to keep him calm. He told me to tell you he was sorry for running. He just was so surprised by the proposal that he panicked." She pressed the ring box back into his hands. "He said he wish he'd done what he really wanted and taken the ring and screamed yes for everyone to hear. He made me promise to tell you. But you were hurt so badly, I knew you needed time so I didn't want to push before..."
Nazz stopped talking when she saw Kevin's head slump forward, shielding his face from her, which was something since he was nearly a head taller than her. She got worried when his shoulders began to shake slightly. "Kev?" She knelt down so she could look up into his face and it broke her heart. He had the box clutched to his chest with one hand while pressing the back of his other hand to his mouth. His teeth were clenched tight in a deep grimace and fat tear drops were steadily falling.
Nazz did the only thing she could do for her oldest friend. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him back to his bed. Kevin grabbed onto her like she was the only thing keeping him alive, digging his fingers into her upper arms as he cried into her shoulder.
Nazz tried to soothe him, knowing that he needed her then more than ever. Because they had all lost a friend the day Edd ran out infront of that truck, but Kevin had lost his heart.