Journal entry 1: Pre-Christmas
The next few days will be special for Misa-Misa, because she celebrates a foreign holiday called "Christmas", which surprised me since most residents of Japan are Buddhist. Apparently, the holiday entails giving and receiving gifts from friends and family members in celebration of some sort of holy man named "Jesus". It is an odd thing to do, just randomly giving gifts to people, but everyone at the Kira Investigation Center seems to be rather familiar with it. However, I am atheist, so I assumed they would exclude me from their celebrations. I seem to have been mistaken.
According to my calculations, the probability of me receiving a present was 63%, so I haven't kept my hopes up. However, Light-kun and Misa-Misa both bought me this "journal". Misa-Misa says if I can get my creepy thoughts on paper, that maybe I will be less creepy in reality. But I have high doubts about that.
But I must say I was pleasantly surprised this evening when I came back from speaking to Watari about some personal business to find that, while I was out, the whole team pitched in to decorate the place. It was quite a change to be sure, but it wasn't a bad change. I suppose that the building could use some "Christmas cheer" to boost everyone's morale. We haven't made much progress on the Kira case as of late, so it is good that the mood has changed. On top of that, there has been a large supply of sweets around lately, which makes me enormously happy. (My brain cells require sweets to properly function.)
However, I do have one problem. No one will allow me to work on the case, whatsoever. I'm not even allowed near my phones, much less near my laptop, or anything that would allow me to try and find another lead. Of course, I have hidden computers all around the facility. But… They seem to have expected that from the beginning, so I have again been chained to Light-kun to ensure I won't be using electronics. He doesn't seem too bothered by it, even excited to be the one doing the supervising, but I am less than happy to be watched like a dangerous child who knows no better.
But in the nighttime, when Light-kun is sleeping as well as everyone else, I often use my spare key hidden in a compartment under my bed to unlock my handcuff and sneak out into the computer lab to get some work done. I can't imagine how furious Light-kun and the others would be if they found out that I worked at night when they go through so much trouble to keep me from doing just that. Which is why now, Light-kun doesn't sleep until I have fallen asleep. Because, though I hate to admit it, I was caught.
It was 2 am precisely. I reached under my bed for my secret compartment, feeling around until I found the keypad, then typed in a number code, all the while keeping my eyes on Light-kun's sleeping form on the other bed across the room. I hoped he wouldn't wake up, I violently hoped. Why? Well, because he is my f…f-friend. I didn't want him to be upset with me. It's only natural, I suppose.
The soft click of the compartment spitting out the key into my palm always made my heart jump a little, because I always feared Light-kun would wake just then and discover me. Thankfully, he never did. But even so, I always waited a few seconds before bringing my hand up over the edge of the bed to quietly unlock my single handcuff on my left wrist. I watched it fall to the bed with a small thump, the chain going slack for a moment, but I quickly locked the handcuff to the nightstand beside my bed, giving Light-kun adequate room to toss and turn in his sleep, if necessary. But usually the only times he turned in his slumber was when he had a nightmare, which, unfortunately for me, was becoming more and more often these days. And that night happened to be a nightmare-night for Light-kun.
I slowly began to climb out of my bed and onto the floor when Light-kun suddenly groaned, turning over on his side, slamming his fist onto the pillow beside him. For a heart-stopping, terrifying moment, I thought he'd seen me, so I froze where I was, watching him intensely to see if he was coming after me. After five minutes of nothing, I breathed a tiny sigh of relief. For sure I believed I had been caught red-handed, but I realized that it had only been another one of Light-kun's nightmares. For that reason, I hesitated a brief moment, suspended precariously above the floor, my legs still on the edge of the bed, my palms on the tiled ground. But I thought for a minute. If I waited much longer, Light-kun might wake up and catch me in mid-escape, but if I hurried and left, I'd at least get some more work done before I got caught. I knew deep down it would happen eventually, that someone would find out. Whether it would be Light-kun, Misa-Misa, Yagami-san, or Matsuda-kun, I couldn't foresee, but whoever it was would bring hell and havoc down on my head. I must say, I wasn't looking forward to it, but I was taking as many precautions as possible.
I finished crawling down onto the floor, keeping down in a low sprawl, and scampered silently forward until I reached the hall and continued on until I arrived in the Investigation Lab, where all the data on the Kira Investigation was kept, and climbed into my chair with my legs folded against my body underneath me. For a moment I listened to make sure no one was coming, biting the nail of my thumb, my head tilted to the side slightly. Upon hearing nothing I turned back to the computer screens, tapping into the master keyboard, unblinking in the light as each monitor flickered on one by one until the whole room was bathed in electronic light.
I opened up several windows on several monitors, comparing numbers, names, and the prices of some expensive candy through the systems, which hummed dully. Eventually I ended up meeting more dead ends within the investigation, and ordering thirty boxes of Pocky from a factory in Tokyo and ten bags of sugar cubes for my coffee from London.
Just as I was preparing to shutdown a few monitors and focus on less to see if I had missed something in the data, or perhaps overlooked a key factor, I heard the sound of something sliding across the floor down the hall. I nearly jumped out of my chair because the sound of the approaching nightstand scared me so badly.
Quickly I whipped back to the screens, shutting them all down simultaneously. All at once everything buzzed and then flashed to black, the screens seemingly being sucked through a hole in the middle of the monitors. I unfolded myself from my seat, the scraping of the nightstand coming down the hall like fire on my heels, and dove under a table, unintentionally tangling myself in the mess of cords. I could tell it was useless to try and escape now, I was as good as dead now that Light-kun was almost there. I could never have time to untangle myself and then escape back to my bed… But even if I did, how would I explain my handcuff being attached to the nightstand?
I sat under the table helplessly awaiting Light-kun's arrival. I estimated it would be about two minutes until he arrived, but it seemed that I was a little off. He arrived in 1 minute and 23.4 seconds.
"RYUZAKI, GET OVER HERE AND UNLOCK THIS!" Light-kun screamed upon entrance. Though I couldn't crane my neck to see his expression, by his posture I could tell I wasn't going to get off easily. I sighed and made no move to get out of my entanglement, pursing my lips in mild frustration.
"I'm sorry, Light-kun, but I can't." I twitched my limbs to signal where I was. "I seem to have gotten myself into a predicament."
"YOU BET YOUR CANDY-ADDICTED A** YOU HA…" Light-kun's voice trailed off as he bent down to look at me under the table, his face practically radiating anger. His eyebrows were knitted above his dark eyes, his mouth turned down in a deep scowl, which suddenly turned into a smirk. "You think I'm about to help you?"
I looked up at him, my own mouth turning up slightly. "You will if you want the key."
I watched his smug expression melt to a defeated one. For the first time in a long time, he looked worn, tired, and even a bit depressed. I could see the war in his eyes, a conflict between himself and himself. Though I am usually good at reading people, I couldn't see what he was so incredibly exhausted from. Had I been working him too hard? What if I was working everyone too hard and I hadn't realized it…? I myself am used to long work hours, and I rarely sleep. But I hadn't taken into consideration what the others were used to. Suddenly, I was more than deflated. I felt a bit depressed myself.
"Here, try to slide forwards a little. Maybe I can get that big cord from around your neck…" Light-kun said, tugging on the chain from the handcuff with a grunt. I frowned and slid forward as much as possible, leaning my head forward while he reached around with his unbound hand to take the cord, but suddenly changed direction at the last minute to grab at my pocket, where the key rested. However, he was just a little too slow.
I barely managed to kick one foot out of the mess of cords and use it to pin his hand to the ground with a sigh. "Please make this simple and untangle me first. I don't want to fight this battle with you, especially after you've had such a rough night." He snapped his head up to look me in the eyes, a guarded confusion hidden in his face.
"What do you mean?" he asked quietly, a threatening edge to his voice. I smiled sadly, hanging my head against my chest, feeling the cord pull at my throat.
"I know about your nightmares, and that shouldn't surprise you in the least," I explained softly, avoiding his gaze and staring intently at a crinkle in my pants leg. I heard him sigh and felt as he lifted my chin to free my neck of a cord, making breathing a bit easier. He then proceeded to remove what cords held my limbs captive and sat back on his heels with a small smile once he was finished.
"Alright, now unlock me so that I can strangle you," he said, his dry humor not computing in my head. I hesitated, hand hovering over my pocket, giving him a questioning look.
"You're going to…"
"No, no, Ryuzaki." He shook his head with a grin. "Just unlock me please." He held out his locked wrist, dragging the nightstand behind him forward a little. I reached over and slid the key in the lock, twisting it until the handcuff fell limp to the ground with a small clank.
I scooted back a little and watched him rub his wrist, where the handcuff had cut into it and made his skin raw and red. He sighed softly, his hands finally falling in his lap as he hung his head.
"Ryuzaki…" he started, shaking his head, his hair swishing softly. I almost wished my hair did that. Suddenly he chuckled, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling. "I expected this from the beginning, you know. I knew you couldn't stay away from the case even for your friends."
I was taken aback quite a bit. Why was he associating my co-worker's relationships with me in my crime?
"No, Light-kun, you've got it wrong…" I trailed off, at a loss for words. Strange, I had never experienced such confusion before. It was so foreign in itself that I was tongue-tied simply because I didn't know what to think of myself. I always had something to say.
"Why, then? Why'd you go behind our backs to do this?" he asked sharply, snapping his head up to look at me. I stared at him for a long moment, what seemed like a lifetime.
"Because Kira doesn't break for Christmas," I said simply. It was obvious, why hadn't he seen that? "People will die, whether it is Christmas, Hanukah, Halloween, or New Year's Eve, Light-kun. I thought you knew that."
He looked slightly shocked, leaning away from me a bit as if I had a disease and he wished to be polite and not move to the complete opposite side of the room, but still didn't want to catch it.
I stood, feeling my back round itself as it usually did, and slid my hands in my pockets. I looked at Light-kun on the floor, who ran a hand through his hair with a sigh.
"Come on, Light-kun. Let's just go back to bed and pretend this never happened," I suggested softly. He looked up at me and snorted.
"As if I'm gonna keep this under my hat."
"Do you really wish to ruin Misa-Misa and Matsuda-san's holiday with such news?" I asked, even though I knew he wouldn't have told. I could tell he'd already thought of what I'd said as he silently stood as well, simply handing me the handcuffs and picking up the nightstand to carry back to the room.
And thus concluded a rather tiresome night.
The only good thing was that I got to order some candy I'd been dying to buy. Watari hasn't been around lately, so I can't tell him what to order me. Though he probably knows what I like in general, it varies as to what I wish for every week. I could tell Light-kun to order me something off of his laptop, if Misa-Misa had let any of us have any access to technology whatsoever.
I suppose I will tell Matsuda-san to pick me up some cheap candy at the store once I run out. But I do need some strawberries and chocolate sauce, so maybe I'll ask him to pick up some at the store down the street tomorrow.
But Misa-Misa is calling for dinner, and I should go immediately to oversee the conversations in there, just to make sure Light-kun lets nothing slip.
-L