Shizuka: Hello, everyone! Merry Christmas/Happy holidays! This is just something random that my friends and I cooked up and that I decided to write. Basically, its just weirdness and it's meant to be funny. I know I used a lot of lines from How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and I did not intend to infringe on copyright or anything at all. I don't own D. or How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and I'm not making any money for this. Yay. Anyway, I know that this is kind of an odd storyline, so just for reference, not everything we write is as weird as this… Although some of it is, haha.
How Krad Stole Christmas
Every Who
Down in Who-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...
But Krad,
Who lived just north of Who-ville
Did NOT!
Krad hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
It could be his tamer, Satoshi, had been acting with spite.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Kraddish frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
(He ignored Satoshi's wistful look
Knowing his mission could not be forsook.)
Then he growled, with his fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
For,
Tomorrow, he knew...
...All the Who boys and girls
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST!
FEAST!
FEAST!
FEAST!
They'd feast on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast
Which was something that Krad couldn't stand in the least!
He hated it more than his enemy, the annoying, perverted thief!
This view, as most would agree, was an erroneous belief!
And THEN
The Whos would do something
He liked least of all!
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing!
AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more Krad thought of this Who-Christmas-Sing,
The more Krad thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why, for four hundred years I've put up with it now!
"I MUST stop Christmas from coming!
...But HOW?"
Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
KRAD
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" Krad laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a Santy Claus coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great trick!
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..."
Krad looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop Krad...?
No! Krad simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called Satoshi. Then he took some red thread
And he tied a big antler on the top of his head.
THEN
He loaded some bags
And some old empty sacks
On a ramshackle sleigh
And he hitched up poor Satoshi.
Then Krad said, "Giddap!"
And the sleigh started down
Toward the homes where the Whos
Lay a-snooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Whos were dreaming sweet dreams without care
When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Kraddy Claus hissed
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa Claus could do it, then so could Krad.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then Krad, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimbley!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out the icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, Krad even took their last can of Who-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned Krad, "I will stuff up the tree!"
And Krad grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When he heard a small noise like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and there a Who could be seen!
Little Daisuke-Lou Who, who was not more than fourteen.
Krad had been caught by his enemy's brother
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water,
He stared at Krad and said, "Santy Claus, why,
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that Krad was so smart and so slick
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little Who," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There a light on this tree that won't light on one side.
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the boy. Then he patted his head.
And he got him a drink and he sent him to bed.
And when Daisuke-Lou Who went to bed with his cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then the last thing he took
Was the log for their fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food
That he left in the house
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then
He did the same thing
To the other Whos' houses
Leaving crumbs
Much too small
For the other Whos' mouses!
It was a quarter past dawn...
All the Whos, still a-bed,
All the Whos, still a-snooze
When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!
"Pooh-Pooh to the Whos!" he was Kradd-ish-ly humming.
"They're about to find out now that no Christmas is coming!
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
"Then the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"
Satoshi muttered, "How I wish
That you would go die in a ditch!"
"That's a noise," grinned Krad,
"That I simply must hear!"
So he paused. And Krad put his hand to his ear.
"Oh, Kraddikins, how I've missed your foolish cheer."
Krad jumped
A foot in the air
And turned to glare
At the person who stood there,
Laughing at him without a care.
"What do you want?"
He asked of Dark Mousy.
"Open your eyes,"
The thief cheerfully replied,
"And perhaps you will realize
"Your biggest surprise."
"What do you mean?" he began to question,
But he could hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started low. Then it started to grow...
And the sound wasn't sad!
Why, this sound was merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Who-ville!
Krad widened his eyes!
Then he shook!
What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And Krad, with his feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?
"It came without ribbons! It came without tags!
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
Dark rolled his eyes. "I tried."
He went to join the festivities
While Satoshi stared at his harness and sighed.
Krad puzzled for three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then Krad thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then...?
Well...in Who-ville they say
That Krad's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And Satoshi, with Daisuke-Lou Who's help, was finally released!
And Krad...
...HE HIMSELF...!
Krad carved the roast beast!
-Fin-
Starring:
Krad as the Grinch
Satoshi as the dog with the antler tied to his head
Daisuke as Cindy-Lou Who
Dark as himself. Or, rather, the Ironic Voice of Reason.
Review, please?