The Dead Ale Wives-Summoner Geeks
Disclaimer:I dont own the Dead Ale Wives, sux 4 me
Summoner Geeks
Announcer:Dungeons and Dragons. Satans game. Your children, like
it or no, or attracted in their weaker years to the occult, and
a game like D&D fuels their imagination and makes them feel
special, while drawing them deeper and deeper into the bowels
of El Diablo. This afternoon, the Dead Ale Wives watchtower
invites you to sit in on an actual gaming session. Observe
the previously un-observable as a hidden camera takes you
into the inner sanctum of Dungeons and Dragons.
DM:Golstaff, you have entered the door to the north. You
are now by yourself, standing in a dark room. The pungent
scent of mildew eminates from the wet dungeon walls.
Guy in Kitchen(Nightblade but this is easier to type):Where are the Cheetos?
DM:They're right next to you.
Golstaff:I cast a spell.
G.I.K.:Wheres the Mountain Dew?
DM:In the fridge duh!
Golstaff:I wanna cast a spell.
G.I.K.:Can i have a Mountain Dew?
DM:Yes you can have a Mountain Dew, just go get it.
Golstaff:I can cast any of these right, on the list?
DM:Yes, any of the first level ones.
G.I.K.:Im gonna get a soda, does anybody want one. Hey
Graham, im not in the room right?
DM:What room?
Golstaff:I wanna cast Magic Missile.
G.I.K.:The room where he's casting all these spells from.
DM:He hasn't cast anything yet.
Golstaff:I am though if you's listen, Im casting Magic Missile.
DM:Why are youcasting Magic Missile, there's nothing to attack here.
Golstaff:uh...I...Im attacking the darkness!
all laugh
Dm:UH...allright, you attack the darkness. There is an elf in front
of you.
Elf:WHOA WHOA WHOA, thats me right?
DM:Hes uh...whearing a brown tunic, and has grey hair and blue eyes.
Elf:No i dont, i have grey eyes.
DM:Let me see that sheet
Elf(while handing him sheet):Well its says i have blue eyes, but
i decided i wanted grey eyes.
DM:Whatever. Okay, you guys can talk to eachother now if you want.
Golstaff:Hello
Elf:Hello
Golstaff:I am Golstaff, Sorceror of Life.
Elf:Then how come you had to cast Magic Missile?
all laugh
DM:y-y-y-you guys are being attacked.
G.I.K.:Do i see that happening?
DM:NO, you're outside by the tavern.
G.I.K.:Cool, i get drunk.
DM:There are 7 ogres surrounding you.
Elf:How could they surround us, i had MordiCydin's magical watchdog
cast!
DM:No you didn't.
G.I.K.:Im getting drunk, are there any girls there?
Elf:I totally did, you asked before the adventure if we wanted
any equipment and i said no, but i needed material components for
my spells, so i cast MordiCydin's faithful watchdog.
DM:But you never actually cast it.
G.I.K.:Roll the dice to see if im getting drunk!
DM:*sigh* *rolls dice* Yeah, you are.
G.I.K.:Are there any girls there?
DM:Yeah
Elf:I did though, i completely said when you asked me-
DM:No you didn't, you didn't actually say you were casting the spell
so now there's ogres okay.
G.I.K.:Ogres? Man i got an ogre slaying knife, its got a +9 against
ogres.
DM:You're not there, you're getting drunk.
G.I.K.:Okay but if theres any girls there, i wanna DO them!
Announcer:There you have it, a frightening look into America's most
frightening past time. Remember, its not your children's fault that
they're being drawn into a Satanic world of nightmare. Its their gym
teacher's fault for making them feel outcast, when they couldn't do
one single pull up.
End
Disclaimer:I dont own the Dead Ale Wives, sux 4 me
Summoner Geeks
Announcer:Dungeons and Dragons. Satans game. Your children, like
it or no, or attracted in their weaker years to the occult, and
a game like D&D fuels their imagination and makes them feel
special, while drawing them deeper and deeper into the bowels
of El Diablo. This afternoon, the Dead Ale Wives watchtower
invites you to sit in on an actual gaming session. Observe
the previously un-observable as a hidden camera takes you
into the inner sanctum of Dungeons and Dragons.
DM:Golstaff, you have entered the door to the north. You
are now by yourself, standing in a dark room. The pungent
scent of mildew eminates from the wet dungeon walls.
Guy in Kitchen(Nightblade but this is easier to type):Where are the Cheetos?
DM:They're right next to you.
Golstaff:I cast a spell.
G.I.K.:Wheres the Mountain Dew?
DM:In the fridge duh!
Golstaff:I wanna cast a spell.
G.I.K.:Can i have a Mountain Dew?
DM:Yes you can have a Mountain Dew, just go get it.
Golstaff:I can cast any of these right, on the list?
DM:Yes, any of the first level ones.
G.I.K.:Im gonna get a soda, does anybody want one. Hey
Graham, im not in the room right?
DM:What room?
Golstaff:I wanna cast Magic Missile.
G.I.K.:The room where he's casting all these spells from.
DM:He hasn't cast anything yet.
Golstaff:I am though if you's listen, Im casting Magic Missile.
DM:Why are youcasting Magic Missile, there's nothing to attack here.
Golstaff:uh...I...Im attacking the darkness!
all laugh
Dm:UH...allright, you attack the darkness. There is an elf in front
of you.
Elf:WHOA WHOA WHOA, thats me right?
DM:Hes uh...whearing a brown tunic, and has grey hair and blue eyes.
Elf:No i dont, i have grey eyes.
DM:Let me see that sheet
Elf(while handing him sheet):Well its says i have blue eyes, but
i decided i wanted grey eyes.
DM:Whatever. Okay, you guys can talk to eachother now if you want.
Golstaff:Hello
Elf:Hello
Golstaff:I am Golstaff, Sorceror of Life.
Elf:Then how come you had to cast Magic Missile?
all laugh
DM:y-y-y-you guys are being attacked.
G.I.K.:Do i see that happening?
DM:NO, you're outside by the tavern.
G.I.K.:Cool, i get drunk.
DM:There are 7 ogres surrounding you.
Elf:How could they surround us, i had MordiCydin's magical watchdog
cast!
DM:No you didn't.
G.I.K.:Im getting drunk, are there any girls there?
Elf:I totally did, you asked before the adventure if we wanted
any equipment and i said no, but i needed material components for
my spells, so i cast MordiCydin's faithful watchdog.
DM:But you never actually cast it.
G.I.K.:Roll the dice to see if im getting drunk!
DM:*sigh* *rolls dice* Yeah, you are.
G.I.K.:Are there any girls there?
DM:Yeah
Elf:I did though, i completely said when you asked me-
DM:No you didn't, you didn't actually say you were casting the spell
so now there's ogres okay.
G.I.K.:Ogres? Man i got an ogre slaying knife, its got a +9 against
ogres.
DM:You're not there, you're getting drunk.
G.I.K.:Okay but if theres any girls there, i wanna DO them!
Announcer:There you have it, a frightening look into America's most
frightening past time. Remember, its not your children's fault that
they're being drawn into a Satanic world of nightmare. Its their gym
teacher's fault for making them feel outcast, when they couldn't do
one single pull up.
End