Lately I found out some fanfiction dealing with Naruto being named Hokage in Danzo's place. I was trying to put one together, and while imagining a certain Manda-ispired scene, I realized that we don't actually know what kind of gift Itachi made to Naruto. So, here my take.
by lord Martiya
01: BAD LUCK
Somehow, most of his plans against Konoha failed miserably for bad luck, the best example being his master plan of almost four years earlier with three letal strikes at the very heart of the village that got completely deflected by a series of unprobable events. He had come to accept that attacking Konohagakure in any way could mean the equivalent of being hit by a meteor on the manhood, but the situation he was in was just ridicolous: he had attempted to kill the Third Hokage's agent who wanted to kill him (and in their first battle almost managed to do so), had created a master plan to have his target kill himself, and as he saw the foe sports the first signs of a brain hemorragy he found that his way out by the anticipated counter was actually his target's way to seal him away in Uzumaki Naruto's body, right near the mighty Kyubi no Kitsune.
"This sucks." he stated. Then looked around and asked his prisonmate: "Why are we in the sewer under my old house?"
"Our jailor had to use them as a safe haven." the Fox replied. "Before that, this mindscape was a freaking child's room, so I prefer this one."
"I repeat, this sucks. Tell me, what do you do when bored?"
"I listen what happens outside and remember with fondness when times Hashirama had me do his paperwork. Ah, good times..."
Struck in a Jinchuriki with a demon so sick to love paperwork. He wouldn't wish that even to Tobidara or his worst foe.
"ITACHI, DAMN YOU!!!" Orochimaru cried.
Life in Naruto's mind was more interesting than anticipated. The kid had drive, strenght and was, simply put, a genius. Yes, he often passed as an idiot, but Orochimaru had to admit he was just suffering from a childhood with little to none social interaction and an horrible schooling. If just a quarter of what the Fox told him was true, the fact he was where he was declared Uzumaki Naruto as the most talented shinobi since the legendary Rikudo Sennin. That was why he decided to call back his curse at Itachi and help Naruto: before anything else, Orochimaru was a teacher, and couldn't stand to see even half of such a talent, and Itachi knew that well.
The first help had been a prank. Not to Naruto, but to Haruno Sakura: the pink haired banshee had the bad habit of using his host as a punching bag whenever she was even mildly irritated, and Orochimaru couldn't let that continue. And thanks to Itachi not being a seal master (and thus failing to correctly applicate the Jiraya-made seal that imprisoned the Snake Summoner), he had the means. Namely, the ability to take over Naruto for 4.7 seconds every 6 hours, 23 minutes and 2 seconds. And when the banshee reacted to a joke from Naruto with a punch at his head, Orochimaru took over and used her own monster strenght to launch Sakura away, possibly in the male part of Konoha's spa. And without Naruto realizing what had happened, or even that he had a second prisoner.
"Naruto..." Kakashi said after seeing the scene. "Couldn't wait until tomorrow to react at Sakura's abuse? Now it will be Gai to win the betting pool!"
Naruto and Orochimaru later found out that Shizune had organized a betting pool on when Naruto would finally react. And that Sakura had landed exactly on the wall separating men and women in the spa and was mistook for Jiraya. Like he would attempt something like that again after that time he did it with Tsunade... Anyway, after being chased by the older kunoichi and seeing the naked bodies of the old men that bathed at that hour (Orochimaru counted on that), Sakura started to keep herself from beating Naruto.
Orochimaru then started to think about solving another problem. Namely, Naruto being unable to realize about his personal stalker. Frankly, that was even more ridicolous than the failure of his grand assault at the Chunin Exam...
"Really?" the Fox asked him. "Why you deem your failure so ridicolous?"
"The idea was to attack from in and out at the same time. The external attack was spereheaded by three Manda-sized snakes, the internal one included unleashing a psycho jinchuriki perfectly willing to let his demon take over and me sicking the dead Hokage zombified on Sarutobi, killing him and then killing everybody with all the four Zombie Hokage while Manda put on his show about human sacrifices." Orochimaru explained.
"OK, how did that failed?"
"Jiraya was in town and dealt with the snake, then the ANBU and the defenders mopped out the assault. Sarutobi managed to prevent a Zombie Summon and then killed both Zombies and my arms, so to hell with summoning Manda. And that idiot Gaara couldn't think to have Sasuke just slip on his sand and crush him later, so he got dragged out of the battlefield and Naruto defeated his demon unleashed with an headbutt. Seriously, defeating a demon with an headbutt...!"
"Uh... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I KNEW I SHOULD STAY AWAKE THAT DAY!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!"
Two hours later, when the Fox stopped laughing, Orochimaru resumed their conversation and made a proposal.
"Why should I help you and our jailor?" the Fox asked. "Give me just one reason, and I'll do it."
"First, we are struck here until Naruto dies." Orochimaru said. "I knew the Fourth Hokage, he was even more paranoid than me. If you ever managed to deprime Naruto into free you, that guy may pop out from hell and pep talk him into keeping you in. I saw him do strangest things, after all... So, given that we'll remain here forever, wouldn't be better transform this sewer in something more appreciable by having Naruto finally getting laid?"
"... Right. I'll help."
"And second, can you imagine Naruto's face when he'll start having wet dreams about her?"
"That face alone would be worth of it."
"By the way, why do you make him reject the toad?"
"Sometimes old paperwork isn't enough to keep me amused."
At that point Naruto had to return in Konoha: the messenger toad he left there had been killed, and that could only mean trouble.
When Orochimaru thought to trouble he couldn't imagine that Pein would attack Konoha. Yes, he knew the official leader of Akatsuki was so powerful that you couldn't fault the ones adoring him as a god, but that he would dare a solo attack on a major Hidden Village was just too much. Especially given that all three Sannin had the means to kick his ass, in Orochimaru's case with a sound genjutsu and some slash, in Jiraya's case with his Sage Mode (and in fact Orochimaru was wondering how Pein actually killed Jiraya and suspected that the Zombie Gang managed a lucky shot) and in Tsunade's case by just start using offensive ninjutsu (as she used them rarely, most people didn't know she could use them. Still, the only people who saw her using ninjutsu and lived to tell were the Sannin, Sarutobi and her genin team, everybody else was a foe who hadn't expected the manouver and got disintegrated by the overpowered attack). Yet, he did, survived Tsunade (probably because she was too busy healing people) and destroyed Konoha.
Then Naruto appeared, and proceeded to kick Pein's ass. Literally: while the Deva Path could defeat Gamabunta and two similar sized toads by sending them in orbit, Naruto had killed four of the other five zombies before that.
"Wow... I think he doesn't need our help." the Kyubi said as Naruto transformed the Preta Path in a toad statue.
"Wait... This guy doesn't call himself a god for nothing, and Naruto's still unexperienced." Orochimaru said. A second later, Deva Path pinned down Naruto with Chakra Disruption Blades.
"Jinxo."
"Please, shut up. When I say go, send a chakra pulse and kick out the Blades, I'll do the rest."
Orochimaru then executed a long sequence of seals, while somebody, Hyuga Hinata of all people, defended Naruto.
"GO!"
The Nine Tailed Fox sent out a chakra pulse, and Orochimaru executed his jutsu.
"Let's hope the test is successful."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH TEST, YOU MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE?!?!?!"That had been a bad day for Naruto. First, he started hearing maniacal laughs from the Fox, and whatever could make the Fox laugh wasn't good (after all, that sick demon amused himself with paperwork...). Then he found out that Kosuke was dead. After returning to Konoha he found out that Pein had destroyed the village. And now, after being pinned down by him, he got a love confession from Hinata. OK, a love confession wasn't so bad, but for some reason he felt like a stupid, and being unable to help her while she fight the last Pein wasn't a pleasant sensation. He could just hope Pein would trip or something and Hinata killed him...
"GO!" said a voice in his head. And it wasn't the Fox's one, it was different, more snake-like. Wait, snake-like?!
Before Naruto could think more about that, the Fox sent out a huge chakra pulse and forced the Chakra Disruption Blades out. Hitting somebody.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH TEST, YOU MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE?!?!?!"
"I mean I invented it after being struck here. But look, it was successful."
"WHAT IF IT WASN'T?!?!?!"
Naruto, Hinata and a wheelchair-ridden redhead with Rinnengan eyes found themselves in Naruto's mindscape, with Naruto having the Fox's cage at his back.
"You, with the redhead. You're Pein's real body, right?" Naruto asked.
"I am Nagato, yes." the redhead confirmed.
"N-Naruto-kun, where are we?" Hinata asked.
"Uh... That's my mindscape." Naruto admitted. "Hinata-chan... Please, tell me... What do I have behind me?"
"Er... A cage with a giant fox..."
"VIXEN!!!"
"A cage with a giant vixen fighting with a sort of snake-man bound to the wall with a leash."
"By the way, why do you have Orochimaru in your mindscape?" Nagato asked.
"That's Itachi-kun's idea of a gift." Orochimaru replied. "I'll explain later, but now, let's discuss about this fight like civilized people!"
BUMP!
"Naruto-kun!" Hinata cried.
"I think we broke him." Nagato said.
"Hyuuga-san, I think you should execute artificial respiration on Naruto-kun." Orochimaru suggested.
BUMP!
"Great, you broke her too." Nagato commented.
"I think so..." Orochimaru admitted. Then something clicked. "Wait, vixen?"