Apologize
Chapter 1: Javier
'I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound.'
How dare he do this to her? To him? To them? They'd trusted him without a question, trusting him to have their backs. And how did he repay them for their unwavering trust? He'd stabbed them in the back. He'd done the one thing they'd unanimously agreed on not doing, no matter what. But nope, trust and promises don't apply to Kevin Ryan, no no he's above it all.
He throws his badge and gun lightly on the desk and steps back, waiting for Kate to follow suit. Sure rushing in just the two of them hadn't been their brightest move but Ryan had no right, ratting them out to Gates like that. He had other options, for example: grab LT and Karpowski, they're trustworthy enough and enough firepower to back them up sufficiently. But no, that hadn't even crossed his mind, straight to Gates, straight to SWAT, who, for all they knew had a corrupt cop in their midst.
"Keep it. I resign," Kate's words barely register in his head before she walks out of the office towards her desk. He exchanges a look with Gates, forgetting to be mad at her for suspending them. After all she was just doing her job, Ryan on the other hand...
He stalks out behind Beckett and surprise surprise, who should be watching from his desk, waiting but Kevin Ryan.
He has to pass right by his ex-partner's desk to reach his and his coat, he's so mad he contemplates screwing his coat and leaving without it. He almost does that too, almost.
But a loud crack of thunder and the pounding of the rain on the windows wins him over, he submits himself to passing by Ryan's desk and in extension...
'Judas,' the thought enters his brain of it's own accord. Where had that come from? After a moment he finds himself nodding. Yeah, Judas. It fits after all.
Trembling with anger he stalks towards his desk, looking straight ahead, even though he feels Ryan's eyes on him.
He reaches his desk and grabs his coat but a voice makes him freeze in his tracks. "Javi, I had to."
He can't breathe. Can't respond. Can't move. He desperately fights for control of his body, overcome with rage. How dare he make excuses! How dare he use that wounded tone! How dare he do this to him! Concentrating on breathing normally he calms himself down.
Without looking back he motions for Ryan to follow him and he continues towards the elevator, he hears footsteps behind him as he steps into the waiting elevator car, purposely avoiding looking at his companion, he pushes the button that would take them to the parking garage.
The doors open with a ding and he motions for Ryan to exit before he discretely sends the elevator to every floor in the building before exiting himself. It would be a good while before anyone could reach the parking garage via the elevator. It would also be quite a few minutes before the elevator would arrive if called from the parking garage .
The concrete floor is slick with the same rain that pounds outside just a few feet away. Large puddles have long since begun to form, dotting the mostly empty garage.
He forces himself to look Ryan right in the face as he turns to look at him. It's only then he quickly takes in his appearance. His clothes and hair are mussed, eyes bloodshot and wide with unshed tears. Those damn baby blue puppy dog eyes. "Javi, I-" his voice breaks and he falters.
"I-" that's as far as he allows him to go before holding up a finger in the universal 'shut up' signal. Before he himself really knows what's happening his finger curls back into his fist and rockets towards Ryan's nose.
CRACK!
Ryan's nose breaks and sprays blood as his head jerks back and he falls away from him, crumpling to a pathetic heap in a puddle.
"You Think I Forgive You! NEVER! Kate Resigned Because Of You! She's Never Coming Back! Neither Is Castle! You Just Had To Go And Open Your Freaking Mouth, Didn't You! You Didn't Save Us, You Destroyed Us! You Betrayed Us! Nothing Better Than A No Good, Backstabbing, Snitch Of A Judas! I Hate You! If I EVER See You Again I'll Finish You Myself! You're Dead To Me! You Hear? DEAD! I'll Never Forget This! I'll Never Forgive You! NEVER!" He screams, punctuating each sentence with a harsh, well placed kick.
Aiming one last hard kick at his midsection, causing him to roll away with a scream, Javier stalks away into the rain. By this point Ryan's curled into a ball in an attempt to protect his stomach and ribs from further abuse.
He leaves Kevin Ryan behind him in a crumpled, crying, soaking, bleeding heap on the ground.
He blinks to clear the vision from his eyes, grabbing his keys he stalks away from their desks and away from an unharmed Kevin Ryan. The vision his mind had conjured up scared him, the thought of doing that to him...he refuses to look back, not trusting himself.
"Javi," he whispers from behind, voice breaking.
He can't trust himself at the moment. He hears what Ryan says but he can't make a sound in reply, nor movement, he's so furious at him, instead he closes the elevator doors safely separating them.
Part 1 of 8