Finding you...

Totally new to writing so excuse some mistakes please

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING , all belongs to the wonderful SM

Bpov

It was 6 months, 4 days and 19 hours since the day my life fell apart, since my second family left, since he left... leaving me with nothing but memories to remember him by. I was a mess, I barely ate, only talked when questions were asked, only went out for school or food shopping and made no plans to see other people. The first few weeks were the worst, after they found me in the woods I was thought crazy, I just kept muttering the same the same four words that still haunt me, 'The Cullen's are gone'

I was like a zombie, but when Charlie threatened to sent me to Jacksonville I realised how much my actions were tearing him apart and tried to seem more human. I hate that word, it just reminds me of why he left. I can't say his name, it hurts too much, like a hole in my chest. A hole where my heart should be, but I gave my heart to him ages ago, I'm just an empty shell, I function for the sake of my parents and for Jake, my best friend.

When I'm with Jake, the hole in my chest is smaller, less painful, less apparent. He is my rock. He is my distraction and for that I am sorry, I know he likes me in a different way than I like him and its killing me bit by bit. When I'm with him the nightmares are less frequent and they don't have that same killer sting to them. But lately he has been sick, too sick to come to the phone to talk to me. Without Jake the hole gets bigger and painful again. I couldn't bear it.

I took the trashed radio from my truck and threw it on the floor of my room, more like dropped it because it was too heavy to carry any further. Glad that I had moved it out my truck I tried picking it up to throw it out the window but as I picked it up I realised it had gone through the floorboards.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

I decided the best idea would be to measure the floorboards and get replacements but as I bent down to take the measurements I noticed something reflecting the light and looked down to investigate. I was shocked at what I found. A smooth old red velvet box which held the most beautiful late 1800's diamond, which I found I recognised as Elizabeth Masons ring, resting with all my Edward related possessions. I didn't understand, he said he didn't love me, that it would be a clean break, nothing to remember him by. If that was the case then why did he leave all of my belongings behind.

I decided that the best resting place for Elizabeth Masons ring would be in the Cullen's forks residence. I knew for a fact that one day the Cullen's would come back to live in forks, after all, it was one of the Cullen's main houses. I waited for the perfect time, Charlie was on a 2 day fishing trip with Billy and Jake was, yet again too sick to come to see me. I braced myself for emotional pain and for the ever evident hole to be ripped further apart, again. My trusty truck got me to the Cullen's house without breaking down, although I did have trouble finding the drive as it was so overgrown with plants and trees. The house looked almost scary with shutters over every window and the garage boarded, nevertheless it was still 'home' to me and I got out the key I had left at Renee's house, luckily she sent it after in a package with some other things I had forgotten. I let myself in and typed in the code for the alarm before setting off to my favourite room in the house, his room.I uncovered the furniture and let myself cry for a while before looking for a place where I could leave the beautiful ring.

I found an old box with a unique twisting and twirling pattern on it and put the gorgeous ring inside. It looked like Alice had picked the box as the design screamed her name, it was like it was made for her. Thinking of my best friend made me realise that it wasn't just him that I missed, it was all of them...

I walked into my former best friends room and sat on what used to be the 'Bella-Barbie studio'. While I was looking in the room, savouring every last detail, I found a note. Signed 'to Bella'...

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O