Title: Eulogy for a Warrior Princess – Eve
Summary: -
Author: KMCE
Date Started: 28 Aug. 09
Date Completed: 30 Aug. 09
Disclaimer: -
When Mama told me that Mother died, I burst into tears, all previous thoughts of searching for my redemption forgotten. My first reaction was to grab Mama's sais, and throw them at the nearest thing, which was, in that case, a poor tree. But I was too distraught to care. My pain was too much; all I could think of in those few moments was how much I missed out on. First with the 25 years I spent in a Roman household, raised to be the best warrior in all of Rome, with Mother and Mama encased in ice. Then came the time where I parted ways with them, off to spread the word of Eli to the masses after being enlightened. But through all that, I have missed out of so much time that I could have spent with them. Even so, the memories that I had of them were enough to bring me to tears.
Mama had come to me one evening, worried about Mother. Mother had been so quiet throughout the day as we passed through Cirra. Mama had mentioned that terrible things had happened in this town, but even so, I was nervous about approaching Mother.
I found her at the edge of the lake, where she was staring out into the wild, remorse filling her eyes. Quietly, I had seated myself beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist, leaning on her shoulder.
"Mother, do you want to talk about it?" I had asked quietly, trying to ignore the oppressive silence that surrounded us.
"What is there to talk about?" she asked bitterly in the end, after a long moment of silence. "Thousands died in this town because of me, because of my army… I can never make up for it, no matter what I do…" her voice had trailed off, leaving us staring quietly into the blue depths of the lake. Then, I should have suspected that she would try her best to repent for that, even by her own death.
But then, I did not know better, thus settling for a quiet "the blood never does wash off, does it, mother?"
I watched in sadness as a pained expression flitted across her face.
"It never does, Eve; it never does."
That night, we sat there, side by side, till Mama came out to look for us. One look at the expressions we bore, Mama came and hugged us both, settling herself beside me.
We spent the night awake, just staring out into the darkness of the forest, too many emotions running through us.
And there was yet another time where Mother had woken up in an oddly playful mood. We had spent the entire morning in the room at the inn, not bothering to get breakfast as we tried to avoid Mother's agile fingers as they tickled us. Those memories were few, and far in-between the fighting and conflicts that seem to surround us. But even so, I treasured them, for they represented the various sides of Mother that no one seems to see. All they saw was the fearsome ex-warlord, who might turn evil on them any moment. What they did not see was a caring mother, who would sacrifice everything for her child. They did not see nor understand the playful side of her, nor the over protective side of her, who refused to let Mama or me get into any trouble.
It saddens me to think that of all the people that would have mourned her passing, only a few saw and understood her complexity and reasons to the things she did. Most just saw the warrior, but us, perhaps it was only then that she let down her guard.
But whatever it was, I am thankful to the Gods, and at times, angry. For they have reintroduced my mothers to me, but they have taken away the one thing that I and Mama treasured; her.
fin