Girl Scout Cookies

Disclaimer: I do not own Tekken or the Girl Scout Troops of the world. I do not intend to offend anybody. No copy right infringement intended toward Namco or the Girl Scouts.

A/N: I got the idea for this story when I went to Wal-Mart and got scammed by a troop into buying six boxes of Thin Mints and those shortbread cookies. Ah, I remember those days as a Brownie and a Junior. But never again will I be conned by such cuteness! Although I can't say the same for the Tekken crew . . .

"Mom, are you sure about this?" I asked.

"Of course sweetheart. No matter how old you are or what you do, you can't resist Girl Scout cookies!" she said.

I took a deep breath. Ever since I was a Brownie, I have been on top of cookie sells. I was the top Cadet seller in Kyoto and I'd decided to try my hand in Tokyo to get more exposure. It was good timing too, since a new fighting tournament was going on. I believe my mother said it was called the King of Iron Fist – but no matter. I didn't care if they were fighters or not; no one can resist the cuteness of a Girl Scout and their cookies!

Kazuya Mishima:

I decided to hit up the big spenders first before I got to the others. I found the address of the hotel he was staying at and was able to slip my way to his floor without being caught. With my cookie bag slung over my shoulder, I closed my eyes, said my prayers, and knocked on the door.

The first thing I heard was a gruff, "Who the hell is it?"

I cleared my throat. "Yes, hello Mr. Mishima. My name is Andrea Shimizu, and I was wondering if you would like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies?" Why my mother gave me such a name, I will never know.

There was a short moment of silence before he answered. "Now why would I buy cookies? Go away before I call security and have them throw you out the window."

I huffed. I was not about to let this potential sell go if I could help it! I needed to say something to him that would make him buy all of my cookies and more. Then it came to me. Exploit his popularity in the press. Yes, that will do, I thought.

"That's a shame Mr. Mishima," I said, leaning against his door. "For if you had, that would boast your reputation in the public eye." When I didn't hear a response I continued. "'Kazuya Mishima supports the Girl Scouts of the world." Can you see the headlines Mr. Mishima? I certainly can. Not to mention all of the support and money that would be donated to G Corporation by supporters of the Girl Scouts."

I didn't even hear the door open before I fell on my back in the door way of his room. I looked up and saw a man with black hair spiked up into a duck bill fashion wearing black slacks, a purple dress shirt and a black vest. There appeared to be a scar going over his left eye, but I tried to ignore it. I quickly got up and dusted myself off, readjusted the beret on my head and my khaki sash.

He looked at me as if I was some type of annoying doo-to-door salesman . . . which was sort of true. His gazed made me uncomfortable, but I held my head high and presented him with a box of the newest cookies, Savannah Smiles. He looked at them and looked behind me and the other boxes of cookies that I had brought that lay out in the hallway.

"How much for four boxes of each?"

Ling Xiaoyu:

My next target – I mean – customer, was Ling Xiaoyu. Even though Kazuya bought enough cookies to get me my expert cookie selling badge, I still wasn't satisfied. I needed to sell enough for me to retire in a mansion in Florida, sitting on a throne made of gold and Thin Mints. Since I didn't want another nutcase, I went to see Ms. Ling and hoped she would be an easy person to sell to. I had heard she loved sweets and just simply adored Girl Scouts, so I put my best foot forward and found myself at her hotel room door.

I rang the doorbell and heard a high-pitched voice call out, "Coming!" When the door opened I saw a girl of about eighteen or nineteen with her black hair in pigtails and glowing orange bands on her wrist. She was no taller than me and had a hint of mischief in her eyes.

When she looked at me, she clapped her hands and jumped up and down. "Oh a Girl Scout! I just love Girl Scouts!"

I gave her my best smile and said my routine line. "Hello Miss. My name is Andrea Shimizu and I am a Girl Scout. Would you like to buy some cookies?"

"Of course! What do you have?"

I took out a box of Tagalongs from my bag and started explaining all of the cookies. I even though she looked like she was listening, I could tell she was out in space, not truly paying attention to me, but the boxes in my bag. When I finished, she was still with her brown eyes not leaving mine. Before things could feel awkward, I felt a sudden wind, and before I knew it, all the cookies in my bag were gone. I tried to look at Ms. Ling, but the door had closed.

"Thanks for the cookies!" she shouted through the door.

I checked in my bag again to see if there were any boxes left, but there was no such luck. I know this chick did not just steal my cookies. I was about to knock on the door and let her have it until I saw the wad of money in my hands. I looked at it and started to count the money, making sure that every penny was there.

After I was done, I slowly backed away from the door and yelled, "Thank you for supporting the Girls Scouts!" and made a mad dash for the elevator.

Steve Fox:

After that craziness Xiaoyu had given me, I made sure I got a sane customer. Seeing as a nice gentleman like him wouldn't turn me down, I decided to sell to him next. Besides, he was pretty hot.

I didn't have to go far for he was in the same hotel as Ms. Ling. I had replenished my bag of cookies and had finished taking a nap, so I was good to go. I knocked on the door and waited for him to answer it. When he did, I nearly fainted. He had his shirt off, exposing his muscles. His blonde hair was slicked back, and his blue eyes seemed to look at my soul. Thank God he had his trousers on or else I would have been rushed to the emergency room that second. He was Michelangelo's David, but in human form.

"What do you – oh, a Girl Guide*. It's that time of year again isn't?" he said, rubbing the back of his head.

I tried to say something but my tongue betrayed me. Instead I just nodded my head and tried to keep my composure.

"Well love, I'm pretty tight on money right now . . ."

I snapped out of my dilemma. "But Mr. Fox, they aren't that much!" If you don't call three hundred yen for a small box a sugar induced cookies highway robbery.

He looked like he was about to say no until I thought of the strategy that I hadn't used since I was a Daisy. It was the dirtiest trick in the book, and it was only to be used in case of emergencies . . . and really difficult customers. It could melt glaciers and move mountains. I had to use it, even if this customer was fine. I took off my beret, held it to my chest, looked at Steve, and gave him the puppy dog face.

Just the look on his face showed that he gave in. "Not that face . . . anything but that face!" He took his palm and dragged it down his face. Slowly reaching into his pocket and taking out his wallet, Steve said, "You Guides are going to be the death of me."

He counted out his money. "How much for one box of Shout Outs and two boxes of Do-si-Dos?"

Nina Williams:

I had already sold to three other fighters after Steve, (including his aunt, Anna) so I found myself walking into the Mishima Zaibatsu headquarters and knocking on Nina's office door. As I waited for her to answer, I realized that the Zaibatsu has really poor security.

After what seemed to be five minutes, the door opened and a pretty blonde woman with cold blue eyes looked down at me. She sized me up just like Kazuya had before. I tried avoiding her eyes because they made me feel like I was getting poked by several knives.

When she was done, her shoulders sagged and she let out a sigh. "Exactly what do you want?"

"Well Ms. Williams," I started. "I am selling Girl Scout cookies –" The door slammed in my face before I could finish.

"Go away. I don't want your damn cookies," she said.

I narrowed my eyes. If looks could kill, that door would have been obliterated. There was only one way I could get to Ms. Williams, and that was to throw her sister in her face.

"Oh really?" I asked, with sass in my voice. "Well your sister just happened to buy six boxes of cookies from me right before I came here."

The door swung open faster than bullet.

"I'll take twelve boxes."

Yoshimitsu:

I may have been the best Girl Scout sales woman in Kyoto, but what was I to expect from a ninja? I had found out that he – or it – did not have a hotel, but roamed around in the forest of Japan. Since he was a competitor in the tournament, I had to do my research and finally caught him in the bamboo forest of Kamakura.

I looked around the forest. Not a soul in sight. Does someone really hang out here? Should I even ask? Before I could even decide if my sanity was worth it, I asked anyway.

"Excuse me? Mr. . . . Yoshi? If you can see, I am a Girl Scout and I am selling cook-"

I didn't get to finish my sentence before I felt a gust of wind over my head. Feeling a sense of déjà vu, I looked into my bag to see if my boxes were still there. What the hell? My cookies weren't there. I checked my hands to see if the man had pulled a Xiaoyu on me, but saw no money.

"Hey! You give me back my cookies you, you emo looking alien!"

After selling all of the cookies that I had brought (without the exception of Yoshimitsu stealing those), I went back to Kyoto with at 10,426 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies sold. I earned my 8th cookie selling badge and an award that came straight from America. That year I became a Senior and vowed to never return to Tokyo to sell cookies. Instead, I decided to sell to other customers who happened to be in Osaka. They were competing in this tournament and that was sponsored by a huge company like the King of Iron Fist. When I heard, I packed my cookies and set out to not only Osaka, but around the world. Look out World Warrior, here I come!