Author's note
Hi again, so, results day. I hope you all got the results you wanted. I am unsure about mine at the moment, they're not the highest in the world but I could probably re sit some. I just want to get back to school and sort out what I'm going to re-sit and everything now. Anyway, silly people didn't even put the overall physics grade on our results sheets! So this is just something based on a poem we did last year in literature which I quite liked. It's probably crap (such a pessimist I am!) but yeah, it probably is. It's quite dark really, you have been warned…
P.s. sorry for this rather long author's note :)
I don't own friends and it seems unlikely that this will ever change.
Salome
7pm and he had called for the 4th time today. My answer was always the same "no Richard I don't love you, I'm with Chandler now". To be honest, it was getting on my nerves. What part of "I don't love you" didn't he understand?
"Problem my darling?" Chandler asked
"Richard again" I said "I wish he'd leave us alone"
"I could go talk to him again"
"It didn't work once, it won't work twice" I sighed. "Seriously, the only way he'll leave us alone is if he dies." I raised my eyebrows.
"Well that should be soon considering he is about 100" Chandler joked. True, but It had given me a great albeit dark idea. But did I have it in me to do it? Yes. I had to. It was the only way to get peace and live with Chandler happily.
"Ah, I have an idea" I said, smiling.
"Ok, what does it involve?"
"Basically, I pretend to want sex, and then I kill him"
Chandler laughed.
"I'm serious" I insisted "it's the only way we can get any peace". He just looked at me.
"Well. Just do whatever. Just tell me when it's done" wimp. I thought.
"Hello Richard" I said, opening the door.
"Hey Monica, I'm glad you changed your mind"
"I wanted it all along, I was only teasing" the lying was getting easier. Good.
I led him inside, he followed. Like a lamb to the slaughter. Then he sat on the couch, completely oblivious to what I had planned for him.
We started out with some wine and a rice dish I had made earlier. We ate it whilst watching a film with Gregory Peck in it. The Gunfighter I think. I wasn't paying much attention, I was planning.
"This is nice" he said "I miss this"
"Me to" I replied
"So, how have you been?"
"Alright" I said "Work's good"
"Yeah, same here" he seemed more interested in the film. Eejit.
We stayed there for a while, talking about this and that. Boring grown up topics mainly, the economy, his own dental practice he'd opened, politics. I longed for Chandler but he was staying with Joey tonight.
"So" I asked after a while, bored of his conversations, "shall we take this to the bedroom?"
"Sure" he said, picking me up and carrying me to the bedroom. I noticed we'd left our bowls out. Never mind, I thought, I'll clean them in the morning.
He put me down on the bed. This was the part I was dreading. He kissed me gently and it wasn't long before we were under the covers, all the time I was planning. I had an axe hidden under my bed and a gun in the cupboard. I was ready.
"God Mon you're so pretty" he said stroking my hair
"Thanks, you ain't so bad yourself" I smiled at him
"I really missed this" he said "especially the sex, that was always great"
"Yeah, the best I ever had", I reached slowly under the bed.
In the morning, I woke up with a huge headache and sticky hands. I needed some
water.
'I flung back the sticky red sheets, and there like I said, and ain't life a bitch? Was his head on a platter.'
Footnote
Yes I know it's a bit sinister but I'm only partly sorry. Ha. I doubt Monica would do anything like this but yeah, I think the original story of Salome is pretty cool. Thanks for reading x