Replacement

This is my first CM story. Actually, I never even wanted to write one but after the latest episode and the news that Paget is leaving, I felt like I simply had to. Emily is my favourite and I am really pissed that she is going to leave, but ok. But a thing that is definitely not ok is that JJ seems to replace her as Dereks friend and partner. Their conversation at the end of the last episode was so much like the conversations Derek and Emily used to have… In my opinion, the writers should at least give us a little more of Emily (and Derek!) since we have to cope with not seeing her again on CM after this season.

I hope you like this fanfiction (keep in mind, I am not a native speaker so I guess, mistakes are normal :D)!

You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough – Frank Crane

'Look, JJ, all I am saying is I am never making you angry again! I mean, who knew the Pennsylvania petite could be such an ass-woman!' Derek Morgan and JJ Jareau entered the bullpen together after getting back from a case.

' Well, I am just glad my hand-to-hand coach could work his schedule around my state-department duties' the small blonde answered, leaning against a desk. She had a black eye and some cuts and bruises in her face, which she got from a fight with an UnSub.

'It's my pleasure. I am just really grateful that it all payed off… you were great out there. I… am proud of you' Derek Morgan said looking into her big blue eyes.

'Why don't you get back home, I bet Will is waiting for you.'

'Yeah, ehm.. we had dinner reservations but I guess I don't exactly look appropriate right now' they both laughed.

'Thanks Derek' JJ said and gave him a smile. The tall man just responded with a small 'yeah..' and returned the smile.

Derek patted her shoulder, turned around and went up to Hotch's office. JJ grabbed her bags and left the building. Both of them didn't notice Emily standing a few feet away from them, listening to what they were talking about. Hearing what they were saying she got a little sad. It used to be her joking around with Derek. She used to be his partner. Since she had gotten back, their relationship hadn't been the same as before. JJ was his partner now, so she just saw Derek when the rest of the team was also there. Even though she had asked him a while ago if everything was ok and he said that he wasn't mad anymore, she had the feeling that there was something unresolved between them.

She kept standing around for another minute, trying to figure out whether she should go and confront him or just go home. She decided that it was best if she just asked him. Not knowing whether they were ok or not, was simple torture.

Derek was still talking to Hotch, so she figured she should simply go to his office and wait for him, since he would go there to get the rest of his things anyways.

…..

Emily was sitting in Dereks office, biting her fingernail. She couldn't deny that she was nervous. After another five minutes the door opened and Derek Morgan entered. He was quite surprised to see her there.

'Emily, I thought you had already left. Is something wrong?' he said with a little concerned yet neutral sound in his voice.

'I…I just want to talk to you about..something.' she said and got up. She hesitated.
'Are we Ok? I mean, we used to be kind of best friends and you already told me that everything' fine but for some reason, I don't really believe you..'

'Emily, there is nothing wrong, just like I said. I just have to get used to you being back. You understand that right? He answered, stepping behind his desk.' Nothing to be worried about..' he looked down and pretended to be arranging the things lying on his desk.

'You know that I am a profiler, right? I can see when something is bugging you. Please, just tell me. Whatever it is. I can handle it.'

'Like I said, there is nothing wrong. Just accept it!' Derek raised his voice only a little bit but Emily still flinched.

'So why are you getting mad at me then? I know that I have broken your trust by pretending to be dead. But I already told you that I didn't have another choice. You understand that, right?' now Emily seemed almost desperate.

'Of course I understand, you explained it various times.. it's just..' Derek looked down again. He just couldn't stand the look in her eyes right now.

'It's just what? Crap, Derek, I am trying the best I can, ok? I tried to talk to you, I tried to leave you alone, I tried to simply forget it. Nothing helped, nothing changed! Instead, you started spending time with JJ, she is your new partner now. The new me. You replaced me and I am desperately trying to get my best friend back!' she couldn't hold her tears back. They were rolling down her cheeks and she could feel them but didn't do anything against it. She was tired of fighting against her emotions.

Derek looked up, not knowing what to say or do. He had never imagined she would feel like that.

'Emily… I am so sorry. I didn't mean to… I.. I didn't replace you. There is no way I could ever do that.' He stepped around his desk, now standing just some steps away from her.

'But why does it feel like you did? I miss you so much, I miss the time we used to spend together. I know it sounds silly, but why can't we just go back to what we were a year ago?' Emily couldn't even say a whole sentence without sobs escaping her throat.

Derek raised his hand and touched her cheek. He slowly wiped away some of her tears.

'You know that's not possible, right? I can't promise you that we will ever be the same again. But I can promise you that I will try my best to never make you feel like I am replacing you in any way again.' He said with his incredibly soft voice.

' I guess I am really lucky to have found someone like you.' She tried to smile and blink away the tears but did not really succeed.

'And I am also very,very lucky to have found someone like you. ' Derek smiled at her and pulled her into a hug.

She held on to him as hard as she could, crying into his strong shoulders and slowly feeling more and more relieved. He would never leave or disappoint her. And above everything else, he would never try to replace her.