Bring Me to Life
pairings: Harry/Severus
Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling and Warner Bros. owns the rights to Harry Potter. Evanescence owns "Bring Me to Life."
Summary: Harry's on the edge of sanity, and he sees himself doomed to live a life of loneliness, until one Severus Snape comes along and talks him out of what could have been the biggest mistake of his life. But is their newfound romance meant to be? Angsty!
~~~*~~~
No one understood him. He was fated to be used as a tool, and then discarded once he completed his job. People only cared about the stupid scar on his forehead, not the scars in his heart. 'Well, that would end soon enough.' he thought, sitting on the edge of the 500ft-high astronomy tower. Harry Potter was through with life.
He felt the hot prickling of anguish in the back of his throat, and openly let the tears flow. He cried for the first time in his life. No, the last time.
~~~*~~~
Severus Snape couldn't sleep. He patrolled the deserted hallways like a brooding phantom, checking for rebellious children who see being out after curfew an adventure. Seeing not a soul around, he headed for his usual thinking spot, the Astronomy Tower.
Opening the door always invigorated him. The chilled wind rushed through as soon as it cracked open, billowing his robes behind him, and the sweet smell of the night reached his nose. The moon's pale light beamed through the space, and the sound of the lake lapping lazily onto shore echoed right up to his ears. He stepped onto the deck, and the first thing he noticed was a figure sitting on the edge of the tower.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing out of bed?" He rushed up to the student, and then backed away, when realizing that it was Harry Potter, who had obviously been crying his heart out.
"Well, professor, I was out here to clear my head, and debated about maybe having a little thrill by jumping off of this balcony. What are you doing out here?" Harry wiped away any lingering tears on his cheeks and gazed up at his angry professor.
"Jumping off the....why, Potter, would you even think of doing that?"
Harry stared at his teacher. Didn't it seem rather obvious? "I'm not happy with the way my life is going. What is that saying, 'quit while you're ahead?'"
Severus was in shock. The pampered little golden boy was suicidal? How could he have missed something like this? Maybe he had overestimated him. He sat down three feet from Harry, except with his legs on the safe side of the banister. "Perhaps...you could tell me why?" 'If I get him to talk about it, he might not feel so hasty as to chuck himself off of the tower.'
"Sir, it's complicated, and it's really none of your business."
"Well, it surely is my business now, isn't it? I can't have you leaping off of this school and ruin our chances for winning the war. Now, start talking."
~~~*~~~
This was weird. Severus felt an uncommon connection between this boy and himself. As a student here, he too had once sat on this very spot, horrified of what he had done to his forearm, and contemplating jumping off, when Albus Dumbledore found him and pulled him back.
~*~
How can you see into my eyes, like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb
without a soul
my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home
~*~
"I think I know how you feel. Misunderstood, like no one knows the real you. Ashamed of stupid decisions made in the past. There's no other way out except down, right?
Harry was deeply surprised. Had the man read his thoughts? How else could he had known what he was thinking? He looked into the former Deatheater's eyes, and thought he saw an uncommon comprehension with his plight.
"How did you know?"
Severus was hesitant to explain. "Well....let's just say that I once sat in the same spot you are now."
Harry now saw the older man in a different light. Once, he was just the hated teacher, unwilling to listen to anything Harry had to say. Now, he was the only one who knew how Harry was feeling, alone and confused. Maybe he didn't have to jump.
"No one sees past the scar. Even Dumbledore, Ron, and Hermione. I hate my life, I don't want to go on. I only wanted a...a..."Harry couldn't say it, since he really didn't know how to put the thought into words.
"...A family? A mother, father? Maybe a spouse, even children? You've been deprived of a proper one your whole life, so I would think that it would be what you most desired. Harry?"
The Boy-Who-Lived looked up, fresh tears spilling over his eyes. When he heard Snape say "family," he saw his mom and dad in his head. When the professor mentioned a spouse and kids, a new picture painted itself on the back of his eyelids, a loving mate, kids. It was what Harry always imagined himself having. And he realized that if he jumped off of this balcony tonight, that particular dream would never come into existence. Slowly he looked up into Severus's face again, and saw true, earnest caring. Then he realized that the man had said his first name.
~*~
(wake me up)
wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
wake me up inside
(save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(save me)
save me from the nothing I've become
~*~
"You called me Harry, sir." For the first time in a while, a grin broke out on the boy's face.
"Well, I guess I did." Out of nowhere, Severus leaned down and kissed Harry on the forehead, like a loving friend. Harry was stunned at first, but wrapped his arms around the man's shoulders in a clinging embrace.
~*~
now that I know what I'm without, you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life
~*~
Severus hugged Harry back, glad for the human contact he had deprived himself of for so long. 'Why in the world did I kiss him? I hope he doesn't decide to blackmail me.'
Harry slowly pulled out of the hug, smiling up at his new confidant. He involuntarily shivered as a blast of wind stung his bare arms. He was only in a t-shirt and flannel pants, and the cold whipped right through his clothes. Severus shrugged off his dark blue cloak and wrapped it around the teen, seeing his teeth chattering.
"Thank you." whispered Harry, and the two sat in silence for a long moment, before the green-eyed young man squirmed and said, "Kiss me again."
~*~
(wake me up)
wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
wake me up inside
(save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(save me)
save me from the nothing I've become
~*~
Severus knew he didn't mean on the forehead, and did as he was asked, capturing Harry's mouth with his own. It was the sweetest, most passionate kiss he ever remembered having. Harry searched his soul with his tongue, using him as an anchor to reality. The Potions Master wrapped his left hand around his waist, and buried the other hand in the young man's wind-blown raven locks. They kissed for what seemed like eternity, just exploring each others taste and body.
"More..."Harry murmured into his mouth, turning his body to mesh it up against Severus's. The man readily complied and kissed down to the nape of his neck and ravashed it.
He gasped in delight. Harry's skin was on fire. He felt himself come to life again. He had forgotten about Voldemort, and he insecurity. He felt wanted, needed. And he loved it. He pulled Severus's chin up for another heated kiss.
~*~
bring me to life
I've been living a lie
there's nothing inside
bring me to life
frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling
only you are the life among the dead
~*~
After a minute, they slowly pulled apart, still wrapped in each other's arms.
Severus was in a surreal state, he couldn't believe that this boy, no, young man had been right in front of him for seven years, and he had never noticed how forlornly beautiful he was. Harry was having similar thoughts, he felt like he was waking up from the longest nightmare of his life, and he leaned into his companion, absentmindedly playing with the man's silken hair.
~*~
all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought, without a voice, without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life
~*~
"Let's get you off of that railing." Severus stood and offered his hand to Harry. The Gryffindor started to stand, but his foot tangled in the cloak, and he slipped off of the banister.
He shrieked as he dropped, but Severus caught his forearm just in time. Heaving, he tried to pull Harry up, but the wind chose that time to surge forward, an unstoppable gale of ungodly fury, and knock the man's balance off. Harry's hand slipped free of the older man's and he fell towards the ground.
Without thinking, Severus threw himself after him. He knew he didn't have his wand, it was in the cloak Harry was tangled in. Streamlining his body like a parachuter gaining velocity, he plunged towards his student, and leveled with him. He wrapped his body around that of the panicked young man, and hurriedly fumbled for his wand in the cloak. All the while the ground was moving steadily closer.
~*~
(wake me up)
wake me up inside
(I can't wake up)
wake me up inside
(save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
before I come undone
(save me)
save me from the nothing I've become
~*~
Finally locating it, Severus cast a slowing charm on Harry. He barely had time to grab on to his floating body when they ricocheted off of a jutting rock of the castle foundation. Severus dropped his wand, lost his grip, and fell the last 40 feet to the shore of the Lake with a sickening crunch.
Harry screamed and struggled with the charm that had slowed his descent. After he was a few feet from the ground, it gave way, and he rushed to his professor. The man was still conscious, but barely, and he was laying on his side. The Boy-Who-Lived gently turned him on his back, and stared apprehensively at the man's agony-ridden face.
"H-Harry, I think I b-b-broke my ah...back. It's fatal." The man coughed, and blood splattered his pale lips.
"No no no, you'll be fine! Just hold on, and I'll put you on a stretcher..."
"Did you hear me, Harry? I'm dying, and I don't have much time. I just want you to know that..."he coughed," I really think you are a marvelous, extraordinary young man..."sputter, more blood," and I feel blessed to have been able to see the real you tonight. I'm sorry for my severity towards you over the years. You brought me to life, you gave me what I've been without for all these years, there on the balcony. Oh, don't cry, Harry." he paused to wipe away the tear that slid alone down his young love's cheek.
"You can't leave me, I just found you! I need you! It's my fault-"
"Don't say that! This was meant to be..."more blood," I need you to go on, avenge your parents, save our world....I'm sorry...." The man's eyelids were fluttering closed, and Harry felt himself go numb.
"No! Severus, wait! I need to tell you thank you!"
Flutter."For what, love?"
"For saving me in my 1st year during the quidditch match, for never treating me like a celebrity, for my first kiss and my first love, and for saving me now. I will make it up to you, I promise."
With a last smile, the once cold, untouchable Potions teacher of Hogwarts pulled Harry down for one last kiss, and then took his last breath.
Harry cried into the man's chest, and cradled his head in his ams, weeping into the night.
~*~
bring me to life
I've been living a lie
there's nothing inside
bring me to life....
~*~
~~~*~~~
author's note: what did you think? I'm in a bit of an angst mood. I was listening to Evanescence, and I thought, "This would make a great songfic, now how am I going to do this???" So tada! Here it is, my 2nd (and 1st completed) fic. I hope you enjoyed it, PLEAS REVIEW!!!