Singing a Spanish Lullaby
I know the way I feel is wrong.
But I knew I would have these feelings ever long.
A wave of emotion is sweeping me along, getting higher and higher with every moment.
Sometimes I think the feelings I have will engulf me completely; sometimes I want them too.
I don't know what to do; I have felt like this about only a few.
I remember the day we met; he was different to the rest of them.
Mature.
Grown up.
Adult.
He was all these things and so much more; this was part of the reason why it was him I grew to love and now adore.
The wave of emotion we feel for each other is carrying us higher and higher towards the shore, towards reality, towards a crossroads.
I now realise we are in too deep; we have to make a decision, are we ready to be each others to keep?
The way he holds me in his arms and lulls me into sleep; what I see when I dare to take a little peep, when we are both 'supposedly' asleep.
I am living a fairytale; and hope each and every day that things stay that way.
That I can keep all my dreadful fears at bay and not get scared and run away; the dawning of each new day makes me surer than ever that he will stay; and that things will eventually be okay.
People will say I took advantage; used and abused; they will be more than a little confused.
I don't want to be seen as the woman who took advantage of one of my pupils.
Our relationship means so much more than that; but I know that if anyone ever found out my world will just go flat.
People won't understand; I know this is why it is banned.
Which seems absurd to me; you can't help who you fall in love with; it's like the government have bought in a law that says 'Lets Ban Love', well I have had enough.
But then I remember we are actually breaking the law.
It is technically illegal.
We are both sinning in the highest degree.
But how can falling in love be illegal?
If it was anybody else people would be so happy for me.
I now get concerned looks; it reminds me of trying to teach the kids how to read the Spanish textbooks.
Instead I have become the type of person I have always hated; it is if I am being constantly baited; I always worry a bomb might be fated.
Wrapped in a web of deceit and lies; all the while our relationship on the rise.
It would break my heart, goodbye; I am so happy at the moment it is as if I am singing a Spanish Lullaby.
I wish we could go away and fly; fly ever so high.
But trouble is nigh; simmering in the sky.
As if it is a force field that is protecting me; protecting us; because little do people know there is a need for all this fuss.
It is a reason that will, inevitably get people riled; I am now carrying his child.
It will undoubtedly get me filed; some people think it's vile; but we now need to go the extra mile.
I know all this sounds like something you would see on Jeremy Kyle; but this is our reality.
If we marry; the baby I now carry will have a great life; away from all this strife.
Now as I walk down the aisle; it feels as long as a mile.
With every step I take I am a step closer to my future; a step closer to heaven; my heaven.
I always knew the fairytale would one day be shattered,
And both of us would end up as collateral damage; scarred and bruised by our love.
This is to show the world what we feel for each is true; we have no need to feel blue.
To stop the looks and glaring stares; it will stop it being a dirty little affair.
And finally give us a chance to show each other how much we really do care.
Our deep rooted feelings will be laid bare.
And however they try to break us up; lock me up; take our baby away from us, they will learn in time there is one they can't take; the way we feel
Because that will be forever real...