Hey! I am writing a in new fandom. If you read my other story well… Blaine was hired to kill it. I just didn't have the time or inspiration. That story is also the time I decided to only write oneshots so here is my first one. It's a little crack sooo beware! By the way this is NOT SLASH! I think Harvey/Mike is like the worst paring ever. Besides, well... Louis/Mike. I'll leave you to scar your brain with that one.
DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned this, but sadly I don't. Hell, I don't even own the story concept, (Kiki Cabou had the idea for that and she wrote in the White Collar Fandom. You should check her out for being cool enough to come up with this prompt about well... two years ago.) (Oh look! I abuse my disclaimer almost as much as my author's note!)
Harvey seemed angry, no, Mike took that back. He was angry but mostly annoyed. Oh, look, yay. He was coming over here with a folder, isn't that just lovely, Mike thought.
"Mike. Yes you. Get over here." Harvey calls, seeming more and more annoyed by the second. Once Mike made his way over there, Harvey dumped the folder into his arms. Mike drops it. "While you are busy dropping files, I might as well tell you the wonderful task you are being assigned today.
Mike finally finishes picking up all of the paper and looks at the first page of the file. "Twenty in Twenty? What? What does this even mean?"
"It means that we will suffer twenty genres of horror." Harvey said cheerfully, very cheerfully. "No kidding. According to Jessica we are required to do a favor for a terrible fanfiction author by the name of Struckbyanewplace. We have to go through all twenty categories of fanfiction in one day. She will be sending a "magical email" to tell us what category we have to suffer next." Harvey glanced over at his associate, for some odd reason, he looked, well, happy. "What is it kid?"
"This sounds fun! What do we start with?" Mike says this all very gleefully. Weird kid, Harvey thinks.
"Apparently we are starting with Romance..." Harvey sighs, "O God kid, you better hurry up with this one."
"I've got it!" Mike runs off into the hallway, only to come back with an annoyed looking Donna.
"What could you possibly want now kid? Coffee? That is your job." Donna seemed even more annoyed than Harvey, but Harvey secretly thought it was just an act, but wait... What was Mike trying to do now?
"Kid, be a good puppy and let Donna go back to her desk. Please."
"No!" Mike says this just before he pushes Donna into Harvey, rather forcefully, hoping that something exciting would happen. And it did.
Harvey was trying to get out of the way and stop Donna from hitting someone or something. He knew what the kid was trying to do and it wouldn't happen. But as he was trying to get out of the way he bumped into Louis, and Donna coincidentally bumped into Kyle. Ok, maybe Donna knew exactly what Mike was trying to do but...
Louis and Kyle were then, coincidentally bumped into each other and then, well an awkward hug thing took place. Mike will later claim that he saw some more action, but he just kept it to himself here.
"Yes! I did it! Mission one accomplished! What next?" Mike was gleeful, Harvey was trying to smother a smile, Donna was full on laughing, and for Kyle and Louis, they weren't seen for a couple of hours after.
And then, after Donna stopped laughing there came the sound that Harvey was beginning to hate. The sound of an email flying into someone's inbox. And everyone knew what the email was to contain.
"Mike, what does the goddamn email say? And don't even try to say that you didn't get it." Harvey smirked, the kid was getting more and more predictable day by day.
"Actually...", started Mike, but luckily for him he was cut off by Donna.
Staring intently at her phone, Donna begins to speak, "Well, it says here that the next category is adventure. Also, this strange author is stopping in today."
"Well this is just great, another person I have to charm." Harvey says dryly. And then, well he glances over and sees Mike, on top of Kyle's desk. "Mike! What the hell are you doing?"
"You'll see Harvey, you'll see." And then, Mike jumped across the associates desks, and disappeared.
"Well, now what?"
*Ding*
"In the meantime, I am changing your genre to mystery! Now go and figure out what Mike is doing!" Donna read this off her phone and smiled, this was an easy one. "To my computer!"
"My day just seems to be getting worse and worse..."
Meanwhile...
"Hey Rachel!"
"Mike, ummm hi? What are you doing here. I thought you would be buried under paperwork. That's usually what Harvey does when he is in a pissy mood."
"I actually don't think he is allowed. It has been a weird day."
"That seems to be a given. And do you know why I have a note from Jessica that I have to theme my life general?"
"Yes, but I don't think I could quite explain this one. Just do it okay? I didn't have any ideas for that one." Mike then leapt onto her desk and disappeared. Again.
"Ah ha! I've got it!" said Donna triumphantly. "I know what Mike is doing!"
"What could that possibly be?"
"He is being a spy."
"And that helps me get rid of this goddamn assignment how?"
"Spy movies are usually adventure."
"What is he spying on?"
"You."
"..."
"Oh, and that creepy client with the science lab."
"That kid is going to get himself in so much trouble. I will go get him."
*Ding*
This time Harvey looks down at his phone, "Mystery genre complete! Now you are going to Sci Fi!"
"Let me guess, sigh, groan, etc."
"No. There are many good Sci Fi movies. And anyway, I don't like no-win situations."
Mike looks around. This client was creepier than he remembered. It was scaring him. The area around him looked like an exact replica of every mad scientist's lab he had ever seen in a movie. Ever.
"Hello?" Mike called quietly.
"Yes?" Mike jumped at the response.
"Harvey?" Mike looks around in confusion, "What are you doing here?"
"Saving your sorry little ass, of course." Harvey strode over with his usual stick-up-his-ass lawyer walk.
"I so did not need saving!"
"You did. I will prove it in three... two... one... zero..." And on queue, Mike knocked into some glass jar. The glass jar then proceeded to fall onto the floor and burst into flames at Mike's feet.
*Ding*
(Queue suspense!)
Back at Pearson Hardman...
"I still don't know what the hell general is supposed to mean."
"I know. But of course you will have to ask nicely to get it." Rachel nearly jumped to find Gregory at her side. Of course.
"Not a chance."
*Ding*
"Gregory, was that your phone? You should probably go text your mother back." Rachel walked off, but before she was out of earshot she heard.
"What? No. This can't be! "Dear Gregory, I don't like you very much so I am assigning you the theme of western. Get on it or be fired. Love Struckbyanewplace." Damn this email."
*Ding*
"What? Another? "I mean it. Also, I had the courtesy to deliver a cowboy hat to your desk. Enjoy!" Shit."
Rachel giggles, and Gregory glares at the space that she was seconds before.
*Ding*
(Queue Tragedy!)
"Mike!" Harvey yells just as he sees the area around Mike burst into flames.
Donna gasps, "What happened? What if..." Her voice falters. Donna was on the edge of tears. Real tears.
"No... it couldn't be..."
For the next few moments, Harvey and Donna were the least put together people anyone knew.
*Ding*
(Queue Hurt/comfort)
"It is all my fault. I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have doubted him!" Harvey, collapsed onto the floor. "What have I done?"
"You haven't done anything.", Donna choked on her sobs. "It was only and accident."
*Much more somber Ding*
"I am not going to justify that by laying an eye on it!" Harvey yells.
*This is an automated message: Queue supernatural/spiritual*
"What the hell?"
Then, there was a sound. A cold breeze filled the room and Harvey and Donna froze. "What is happening?" yells Donna. "Is there actually a God?"
"No.", says a quiet voice that sounded exactly like Mike. "Well, yes but not here. He is like somewhere else. But I am a ghost. Which is like supernatural and Sci Fi all at the same time. Pretty cool right. And like did you know that there are pink ghosts? I didn't. But I'm white. Pink is so not my color. I could see it on you though Harvey. Yes, I could definitely see that."
"What the hell is wrong with you! You nearly scared Donna to death! I should fire you for what you have done!" Harvey yells.
Donna laughs. "You so care."
Harvey automatically seems calmer. But it could be just a mask. "I might still fire you. You know that right?" He gets up and storms out of the room. But not before: *Ding*
*Hey Harvey, we just covered like Drama too. Good job! You rock! And anyhow, in a few seconds Mike is going to stop being a ghost. Be prepared. You will know the category then. Love, Struckbyanewplace.*
*Poof* And there, on the ground is a... Wait for it... Toddler Mike! "Daddy?"
"Oh, God. Not this. Not family!" Harvey sighs. "Fine. I will talk to you. Just get the baby Mike over with."
"Harvey! I want ice cream!" Donna nods enthusiastically and picks up Mike.
"Come on! Let's go!"
"Fine, what is your dream? What kind of ice cream?" Harvey asks.
"What are you talking like that, I've never seen you say something so much like that." Donna says laughing. But here glee quickly turns into shock. "No! It can't be! Not Poetry!"
*Ding*
"Oh yes it can, it says right here, man." Harvey looked like he would kill someone.
"I want... cheese. Please?" Asks Mike.
"What the hell, Mike? I didn't even have to rhyme that time! Oh wait..."
"Then I will take it!" Mike takes money from the pocket of the man next to him, who just happens to be Louis. Louis glanced over, and didn't even bother to look twice. He knew he would never hear the end of today, so he left. Quickly.
"Mike Don't steal! That isn't the right way to earn a meal!" Harvey continues to glare. But his eyes were laughing at just what Mike had decided to do.
*Ding*
*I'm happy. You can stop now. Queue end of family, crime, and poetry genre now. You only have four genres left! And they are Humor, Fantasy, Friendship and Parody.*
"Ow.", complained a now full-grown Mike. "Harvey, there was no need to drop me." He scowled.
"Only four more categories of torture!" Sings Donna happily. Then, the three head back to the office.
"Hey Harvey!"
"What is it now Mike?" Harvey was getting a headache. What could the kid possibly want now?
"Knock. Knock."
"No."
"Please?"
"Not a chance."
"Please?"
"No."
"Donna then?"
Harvey sighs, "She is not afraid to kill you." But it was too late.
"Hey Donna! Knock. Knock."
"Who's there?", Donna replies.
Harvey sighs. Again. What has this world come to?
"Apple!"
"Apple who?"
"Apple your hair if you don't let me in!"
"Kid, if you dare you will never be able to drink coffee without being afraid ever again."
"Donna! Please no! It was only a joke! Look! We filled up the humor genre!"
*Ding*
"See!"
"Fine kid. Consider yourself lucky."
"Donna! Harvey! Look!", Mike shouted. "It's a unicorn!"
"That's nice kid. Just point out the normal." Said Harvey nonchalantly.
"What? What the hell are you talking about?"
"The unicorn kid. Don't tell me that someone with an eidetic memory can't remember Jessica's unicorn of all things."
"What? I am so confused."
*Ding*
*Fantasy complete!*
"Oh, by the way, mysterious author. Parody is totally done. Right there. Ha!" Said Mike triumphantly.
"Fine, skip that one. See if I care." The three turn only to find the mysterious author standing in front of them. "What are you guys doing? I told you I would come in." She paused and then spoke again. "Fine. I will be back in a minute. Get yourselves together. I see my friend John Hardman over there. I will go talk to him."
"Friendship complete! Mission twenty genres done!" Yells Mike.
The End!
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