It didn't seem possible. How was a man so full of life reduced to this? The leaves crunched beneath him as he shifted his body to face the stone, hoping to avoid the punishing sting of the wind. The pain it caused was nothing compared to the pain he felt as he stared at the grey granite marker. CLINT BUCHANAN it read, BELOVED FATHER AND HUSBAND. It should say more, he thought. He was more than that. He was a grandfather, a great grandfather, a brother, a friend, an enemy. Shaking his head, he ran his fingers over the stone, brushing away the rebellious leaves that continued to blow over the top. Even as he sat here, it was hard to believe he was gone- Hard to believe that a man larger than life could be contained under a small slab of rock.

"They say it's supposed to be easier when you know," he muttered, shoving his hands back into his pocket, "but it's not. I had a chance to say goodbye…to say what I wanted to say, but I still need to say more. I'd still give anything to have one more chance, one more conversation."

The wind continued to howl as still more leaves seemed to float down from the trees. In the distance he watched as a couple walked down the road in front of the cemetery. They held hands and talked quietly, aware of their surroundings, and yet still happy in their own world. Resentment, that's what he felt. He didn't even know them and yet he resented them..resented their happiness, their ability to go on with their lives as if nothing had happened, nothing had changed. Didn't they know? Hadn't their lives felt emptier this morning?

"You were right, Dad. I should've listened to you, but I was too stubborn. The one thing you wanted…the one thing you asked of me and I couldn't do it. I couldn't make it happen."

His mind flashed back to his last conversation with her. She'd hugged him and smiled, though he could see the tears threatening to fall in her eyes. She'd opened her mouth then, as if she'd been tempted to say something, but she didn't. She'd reached up, touched his face and said, "You take care of yourself."

Those were the last words she'd said to him. He'd stood there and watched as she walked down the driveway. He'd watched as the car had drove way. He'd just stood there and watched without saying a word.

"God, Dad. What kind of an idiot am I?"

"You should eat something." Kevin gently slid the plate of assorted muffins towards her. "You haven't eaten all morning."

"I'm pretty sure that's my line," Kelly responded softly, smiling slightly. "The last thing you need to be worried about is taking care of me." She sat down on the edge of the bed beside him. "Are you sure there's not anything I can do for you?"

"Just eat something and get some rest. You didn't need to come here. You should've stayed in London." He shook his head as he watched her take a small bite of a muffin.

"I'm fine." She held the muffin up for him to survey, sighing as he shook his head in disapproval at the small dent she'd made in the surface. "Besides…after everything you've done for me…this is the least I could do."

"This is too much for you. You don't need this right now."

"Would you stop worrying about me? I'm worried about you right now. You just lost your father and you've barely said two words about it. Talk to me, Kevin. I want to help."

"I wish I'd been here for the funeral," he said sadly. "I feel like I let him down…like I let everyone down."

"Kevin," she said, laying her hand on his shoulder. "You can't help the plane was delayed. There's nothing you could have done to change that. Everyone knows that. No one will blame you for that."

He sighed. "I was just thinking about Joe….about how hard this must have hit him….about how difficult it must have been."

She nodded. She hadn't stopped thinking about Joey since the moment she'd heard the news…not that she didn't think about him before. Not a day had gone by since she'd left Llanview that she didn't replay the events of their last conversation….how she'd reached up, touched his face and asked him to take care of himself… She wanted to say more….but she didn't. Regrets—she had more than a few.

"Kelly," Kevin said, realizing that she was somewhere far away.

"Yeah..Sorry", she responded quickly, snapping back into reality. "I was just thinking."

"About Joey." He nodded. "You should call him. I'm sure he could use someone to talk to. I'm sure you being here would mean a lot to him. You need to talk to him anyway." He stressed the word need, raising his eyebrows to convey his meaning.

"That's not what this trip is about, Kevin. I came here to support you and your family and to say goodbye to Clint…not for that. This is not about me."

"I know, but Kel…" Kevin stopped himself, already seeing her expression reflecting stress and anxiety. "Ok…Ok..never mind. I just think you should tell him. That's all."

"Your opinion has been noted," she replied.

Kevin stood, taking a few steps towards the door. "I think I'm going to head back over to the house…spend some time with Mom and Jess. You want to come?"

Kelly shook her head. "No…Actually, I think I might take your advice and lie down for a while. I am a little beat."

"You ok?" The concern in his voice was evident. "I can stay if you need me to."

"No..No. It's fine. You go ahead. I think it's just the flight and everything else…just catching up with me. I'll be fine."

Kevin nodded and headed out the door.

Kelly sat still for a moment, listening for the ding of the elevator door. Hearing it, she picked up her coat and purse. She had someone she needed to see.

The wind still howled behind him, a sure sign of the changing of the season. Fall was becoming winter. The world was moving on…just like it always did…just like everyone else. Except him. He felt stuck.

"I'd give anything for you to tell me what to do now, Dad. I know I never really listened before, but I'd listen this time, I swear it. I would. Just tell me."

"I can't tell you what to do, but I'll listen," she softly responded, her shoes shuffling through the leaves that had crowded the path.

Joey turned, afraid for a moment that his grief had finally led him into certain madness. She was really there…standing before him. He stood up, walking closer to her, still too stunned to speak.

"I'm so sorry," she said, gesturing over to the headstone. "Kevin and I came as soon as we could. The plane was delayed. We're so sorry we missed the funeral."

He reached out, touching her arm gently. She was real. "You're here," he whispered.

Kelly nodded. "You didn't think I'd come?"

"I didn't know….after the way…after the way we left it…" Joey looked away, the pain of their ending still too raw to remember.

"That wasn't your fault." She touched his face gently, turning it back towards her. "We both decided it was better that way."

"Better," he repeated. "Easier…easier to heal."

She shrugged. "I don't know. Easier to forget. Easier to move on…something. Anyway, I don't blame you for that. What happened, happened. It wasn't anybody's fault. It wasn't meant to be."

Joey looked up at her. "Do you think it would have worked though…you know…if we didn't….if we didn't lose.." He stopped himself. It was pointless…pointless to dwell in the past. All you had was the present. That's what his father would have said.

Kelly shook her head. "I don't know. It doesn't matter now. I came to bring these." She held out a bouquet of flowers. He stood aside, allowing her to lay them on Clint's grave. She paused for a moment, kneeling down to clear the spot of leaves.

"You ok?" he asked her softly, kneeling down beside her.

"Yeah," she said, looking back at him. "It's just so hard to believe. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that." She stood up, taking both his hands in hers. "I'm just so sorry, Joey."

He pulled her closer to him, unable to resist the urge to hold her in his arms. She felt so small, so tiny as he held her. Moving his head towards her, he felt her stiffen and pull back.

"I should go." Kelly took a few steps back.

"Kelly," Joey began. She was acting strange. Sure, their relationship was strained, especially after everything they'd been through, but this was beyond a difficult breakup. She was afraid to be alone with him…almost like she was keeping something from him. "Is something wrong? Is there something you want to talk to me about?"

"No," she said quickly. "Nothing. I just came to bring the flowers. I should get going. I'm supposed to meet Kevin at your Mom's later. I guess you'll be there soon?"

"Yeah." Joey sighed. He had to accept that awkward silences now….that was their way now. Gone were the days of their ease of conversation. That was gone….along with everything else…all their hopes for the future seemed so distant now.

"See you later," she whispered, walking away quickly as the leaves crunched and crackled beneath her feet.