A/N: This fic was inspired by a photoset (THIS ONE: katerinapierce . tumblr . (c) o m / post/27951999417/ - just remove the spaces and parentheses) made by one of the most incredible people I know: Ash. She also beta-read this for me, and really I do not know what junk you would have all ended up with if I hadn't had her to put me on the right track, so you should all be very, very grateful. She's just amazing.
I'm a very busy person so updates on this will most likely be slow; sorry about that. I'm also aware that as of episode 3x09 (again, thank you Ash, my walking TVD encyclopaedia), Elena no longer possesses the vervain necklace. Sh*t happens. I'm not changing it. =)
Please read and review, it means a lot! ~ K

A/N 2: sorry about the reupload, I didn't realise FFN removed my link. It's a bit of a jerk about things like that.

A/N 3 (17/1/14): this was initially intended to be a multichapter fic, but unfortunately I have decided to let it go. My full apology and explanation will be at the end of this story.

Throwing herself backwards onto her bed, Elena let out a loud cry of frustration. The emotional turmoil of her transition coupled with the pain she still felt as her body adjusted had taken everything out of her. All she wanted to do now was curl up in bed and sleep for days and hopefully when she woke up, it would all have been some cruel dream and she'd be Elena Gilbert, weak and entirely human.

She still remembered waking on that cold metal table, unable to remember anything, yearning to rip out the throat of her concerned brother as he embraced her in relief. Damon had seen it in her eyes and gently yet persistently led her away from him.

"You need blood, Elena. To complete the transition."

Elena had stared at him in disbelief. She couldn't believe what he was implying. The babble of her friends and only remaining family member had been indiscernible and incomprehensible to her, but now they all watched her with varying degrees of fear and fascination; it all made sense.

"I died?" Her voice had risen slightly, incredulously, sounding foreign to her own ears.

Damon had nodded grimly, shooting a dark glance toward Stefan who stood brooding in the corner. He was the only member of the party who hadn't breathed a word since Elena had awoken.

"What… how… I had vampire blood in my system?" Her mind had been starting to whir now, and the burning thirst in her throat became more recognisable.

This time it was Meredith who'd received a death glare from the blue-eyed vampire; clearly he was not in a good mood. Elena didn't know what had happened while she'd been out, but her newly heightened senses were hyperaware of him and his seething fury.

"You were in the car…" Caroline had begun shakily, but her words had quickly conceded to sobs of equal parts relief and mourning, so Jeremy had taken over.

After a lot of explaining and more hugging, Stefan had mumbled something about rabbits and taken off. Elena's mind was still hazy, so she'd decided not to follow him.

Staring at her hands while the others talked around her, Elena had never felt more confused in her life. She remembered fragments of the night, but for the life of her, she could not think of any reason for the hostility Damon showed toward her now.

"Damon, I-"

"We should go," Damon had said tightly, addressing everyone. "All of us."

Jeremy had nodded and looked expectantly at Elena, but Damon had shaken his head.

"It's probably not a good idea."

It had taken a moment before understanding dawned in Jeremy's eyes; he'd nodded and left the room with a little wave. Elena had felt hurt course through her. She couldn't go home with her own brother because of the monster she was becoming. Hell, she'd wanted to tear out his throat earlier and she would have, if it weren't for Damon.

Elena's gaze had fallen on Damon then, noticing that he looked tired, like he'd aged a few decades since she'd joined the leagues of the undead.

"You should stay the night at the boarding house," Damon had said through his teeth. He'd looked pained as he suggested it, and Elena frowned. It was so unlike him. "You can… take care of the vampire thing and I can keep an eye on you."

Elena had shaken her head, tears filling her eyes. "I'll complete the transition but I want to go home. It's been a long day. I promise I won't hurt Jeremy; Caroline can come stay, can't you?"

The blonde had nodded. "I'll be at your place in an hour?"

Elena had smiled gratefully, ignoring Damon's obvious disapproval, but he hadn't pushed the matter.

So that was how Elena had ended up in her own bedroom now, with a gutful of B positive from Damon's basement and a heart overwhelmed with the emotional trauma of the past day. While she'd fed, Damon had been unable to even look at her, and as much as Elena wanted to deny it, it had hurt. She'd left the boarding house with only a quiet word of thanks that he hadn't even acknowledged. Caroline had arrived only moments after Elena returned, but she'd accepted that Elena wanted to be left alone for a while and was curled up on the couch downstairs watching Project Runway.

Elena was grateful that her friend understood her needs so well, but for the first time in a while, something deep within Elena ached for the comfort of her mother. She longed to bury her face in her mother's shoulder and cry for no specific reason, and to have her mother whisper consoling words and stroke her back to soothe her until she drifted off to sleep.

Instead, Elena only had a photo in a silver frame and a pillow to offer any solace. Bitterly, she swallowed her pain and stood to gaze at herself in the mirror.

Studying her features carefully, she concluded that she didn't look very different. A shade paler, perhaps, but only sharp vampire eyesight would be able to differentiate between her former self and this new version of her.

Turning toward the bathroom, Elena suddenly heard distant, echoing words in her head.

'I just have to say something.'

She glanced around, unnerved, and her eyes fell on her necklace. A fallen symbol of her humanity, the thing had singed her flesh the moment she'd completed the transition. She'd left it in a little plastic bag on her dresser upon returning home, now that the gift was rendered completely useless.

The necklace triggered something in Elena's memory, it was almost as if she could feel the clouds slowly clearing from her mind. She felt the ghost of a hand across her cheek and subconsciously raised her own to meet the phantom touch, oddly disappointed to encounter only thin air.

'What I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life.'

"Damon?" Elena murmured softly. Slowly she turned back to the mirror and it was like flicking a switch; she clutched at her head as the memory overtook her.

"Cute PJs."

Elena's gaze fell on the dark figure hunched on the windowseat. He toyed with something in his fingers, but Elena was too drained and battered to care.

"I'm tired, Damon," she said defensively.

He rose to his feet and wordlessly held out the thing he'd been holding – a silver locket – her vervain necklace.

"I brought you this."

"I thought that was gone," Elena said incredulously, receiving only the trademark Damon smirk in reply. "Thank you," she breathed, reaching for it gratefully, but he drew his hand away.

Elena's stomach flipped over. Her instinct had been right; he had an ulterior motive for being there.

"Please give it back," she asked quietly, desperately withholding the anxiety from her voice.

"I just have to say something." He stepped toward her, but Elena matched him in backward paces.

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace?"

"Because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life."

Elena breathed in sharply. "Damon, don't go there."

"No, I just have to say it once," he protested. "You just need to hear it." He approached her again, and this time Elena was too stunned to step back. He stood, mere inches from her, and gazed with his beautiful blue eyes directly into hers.

"I love you, Elena."

She blinked at him; words failed her.

"And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you… why you can't know this."

Then his brutal confession made sense; he was going to wipe her memory.

"I don't deserve you."

Elena fought for something to say but she didn't yet know what, beg him to stop? Not to compel her?

"But my brother does."

He leaned in as if he wanted to kiss her and Elena's heart stopped, but the lips she anticipated pressed gently to her forehead instead. After what seemed like an eternity, he stepped back from her, and she swallowed, hard.

He stroked his hand over her cheek and tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear.

"God, I wish you didn't have to forget this."

She saw tears in his eyes now and her heart constricted; she wanted him to stop, she didn't want to forget, she wanted some time to think and process and-

"But you do."

And her mind went blissfully blank, her room empty, leaving merely an aching hollowness in her chest as the only reminder of her visitor.

Feeling sick, Elena collapsed to her knees, gasping, her eyes burning with hot tears. Damon had bared all that raw emotion and humanity to her and then, out of decency, he'd made her forget that it had ever happened. She hated that he believed he had to compel her, that she would have such an adverse reaction to it, that it would be better to cease the inevitable dominos before they fell but first he just needed to gently brush the first tile and watch it teeter back and forth. He'd told her again, later, and in all honesty she'd known for a while, but this first confession was different; it affected her more than she wanted to admit.

She felt immense guilt now for the way she'd treated him at the Mikaelsons' ball. She'd cut his feelings to ribbons and now she understood how much it affected him. For all the armour that Damon wore in front of the world, he was a hopeless romantic, and she had known that from the century and more he'd spent longing for Katherine. He'd allowed himself to love again, admitting it to himself as much as to her, but he'd been so afraid of heartbreak that he hadn't given her a chance to even speak. Now so much had happened and Elena's world was a whirl of grey rather than the clear black and white life she had desired. She didn't know what to think.

As her breathing evened out, she felt the fog clearing again, quicker this time. An earlier stolen memory pressed at her mind's eye.

"Katherine."

The name was spoken by an unfamiliar voice with a confusing mixture of reverence, desire, and accusation. Elena jumped slightly, unaware that she had not been alone.

The man before her simply radiated sex appeal from every pore. He was potentially the most dangerous looking guy she'd laid eyes on in a small town like Mystic Falls, with his tousled hair as black as night and sleek leather jacket. His bright blue eyes were brimming with hope and incredulity, a stark contrast to his mysterious aura. Elena awkwardly bit her lip.

"Uh, no… I'm Elena." Her voice came out higher than usual, and she cringed. It clearly betrayed her young age and lack of maturity which this guy exuded.

"Oh, you… you just look like…" He sighed, still piercing her with his gaze like he believed 'Katherine' would laugh and drop the charade at any moment.

"I'm sorry, you just really remind me of someone." He'd changed; his voice was stronger, more confident, and he'd lost the vulnerable expression in his eyes. "I'm Damon."

"Not to be rude or anything, Damon, but it's kind of creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere."

He smirked slightly at her. "You're one to talk; you're out here all by yourself."

"It's Mystic Falls – nothing bad ever happens here."

Damon continued to stare, and Elena shifted uncomfortably, searching for something to say.

"I… got into a fight with my boyfriend." She could have kicked herself the moment those words came out of her mouth. Intriguing, attractive strange men did not need to know anything about her personal life.

"About what? May I ask," Damon added, raising his hands as if surrendering.

Elena shook her head ruefully, searching for a suitable explanation.

"Life. The future. He's got it all mapped out."

"You don't want it?" Damon asked, perceptively.

Elena shrugged slightly. "I don't know what I want."

He smirked again; an expression that both infuriated and excited her simultaneously. "Well, that's not true. You want what everybody wants." He was teasing her, and Elena responded with a smile on her face.

"What, mysterious stranger who has all the answers?"

He laughed. "Let's just say I've been around a long time. I've learned a few things." His playful smile had her breath catching in her throat and her eyes glued to him.

"So, Damon, tell me," Elena challenged. "What is it that I want?"

He paused a moment before slowly approaching her. "You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, and adventure, and even a little danger." He continued to smirk at her and Elena lost her train of thought, swimming in the oceanic blue of his eyes. She grasped at her rationality, though little remained considering her current predicament.

"So, what do you want?"

He seemed thrown by the question, blinking in surprise, but they were interrupted by the distant sound of a car horn and Elena turned to look.

"That's my parents," she said, relieved and disappointed at the same time. She turned back to Damon and suddenly he was closer, and she could smell cologne and bourbon and the leather of his jacket and see every fleck of light in his irises.

"I want you to get everything you're looking for." His gaze held hers like a magnet; she was unable to blink or look away. "But right now, I want you to forget that this happened." He winked slightly. "Can't have people knowing I'm in town yet."

After a brief pause, he spoke again. "Goodnight, Elena."

And her mind went blissfully blank, left alone in the clearing, leaving merely an aching hollowness in her chest as the only reminder of the mysterious stranger.

Elena returned to reality, curled in a corner with her fists pressed to her mouth, trying unsuccessfully to mask the violent sobs emitting from her. For the whole time she'd known Damon, really known him, she'd told herself that she was meant to be with Stefan because they'd met first. It was clear-cut; it was her justification for rejecting Damon countless times; it was the mantra she chanted in her head whenever the traitorous butterflies ran riot in her stomach due to Damon's presence. Now that point was completely and utterly irrelevant.

That first glimpse she had of him now opened her eyes to the humanity that had always existed in Damon, before the sibling rivalry and selfish, ruthless doppelgangers had brought out his darkness. It pained her to see the way his eyes had looked when he'd thought she was Katherine – but she had seen those eyes gaze at her with the same combination of longing and hesitance in her first recollection, when he had confessed his love and then cleared it from her mind. Damon rarely let the barriers of his mind down, but when he involuntarily did, it was something both beautiful and tragic to behold.

Elena wondered why he hadn't hurt her. The Damon she'd met couldn't care less about the welfare of humans – though he didn't deliberately cause harm and terror for the sake of it – and would never have hesitated to feed on and take advantage of a gullible, beautiful girl; exhibit A: Caroline. Elena wondered what made her so different that she got a heartfelt speech instead of a neck wound and spot of vampire blood to heal it.

Overwhelmed by the onslaught of information, Elena had snatched up her car keys and was on the way to the boarding house before she was completely aware of it. Her new vampire skills and reflexes extended to driving too, as her foot pressed the pedal until she was roaring along the otherwise silent streets.

Upon her arrival, she let herself straight in and found Damon in the parlour, staring at the flickering flames in the fireplace. He didn't turn to face her; he knew the sound of her breathing, of her delicate footsteps, even as a vampire.

"What are you doing here, Elena?" His eyes lifted up to meet hers as she stepped directly into his line of vision.

"I remember," she whispered, without hesitation, and he dropped his gaze. "Everything."

Elena braced herself, leaning against the wall, but his torrent of excuses and explanations never came. Instead, he sipped at his bourbon as the prisms in the glass caught the firelight, sending colours dancing across the room. Elena followed them with her eyes before glancing down at her hands.

"Are you going to say something?"

"What would you like me to say?" His voice was cool, detached.

"Anything! This is a big deal, Damon. These are big things that you forced me to forget."

"I disagree. You are the one making a big deal out of it."

"You told me you loved me."

"Is that new information?"

Elena bit her lip and shook her head wordlessly.

"It doesn't change a thing, Elena. You still chose Stefan. It will always be Stefan. So the fact that you remember these things now is irrelevant."

She opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off.

"Listen to me for once in your life. We all thought we would die with Klaus. We believed that we only had hours left. You said your goodbyes over the phone and you turned back. To Stefan. That's pretty final, don't you think? You and me and whatever we had in Denver is over. I will not wait for you anymore. You made your decision."

Elena swallowed to suppress her tears. As much as she wanted to protest, she knew he was right, and she was being selfish to expect him to stay for her. Damon returned to his stoic vigil, ignoring her completely.

"You're wrong, you know," she said softly. He didn't meet her gaze but his brow hardened slightly so she knew he had heard her.

"And why's that?" Again, his tone was cold and distant.

She gazed at him imploringly until her met her eyes.

"You do deserve me."

Before the last word had even rolled off her tongue, he launched at her with his vampire speed, his palms flat on the wall on either side of her head, his forehead a hair's breadth away from hers. His eyes were darker, like the ocean in a tumultuous storm, and the black veins stood out around them, pulsing ever so slightly. It would only take the slightest lean forward for their lips to collide.

"Why didn't you hurt me the night we met?" Elena breathed, without tearing her gaze from his.

"You're asking me this now?" Damon growled incredulously.

"I want to know, Damon."

He stepped back from her, only an inch, but it felt like it created voids between them and the near-tactile sexual tension dissipated.

"Initially, I thought you were Katherine," Damon began with a sigh. "You were so goddamned beautiful… you took my breath away. I could never harm anybody who looked like her; I loved her, I really did. But then you spoke and I realised you weren't her, and the more you spoke, the more I saw you as an anti-Katherine. You were sweet, and innocent, and honest, and open – all the things Katherine was not. You were so… human, you had your whole life in front of you, and there was just something about you that was so endearing but I couldn't place it. And the way you spoke to me, a stranger, the way you took an interest in what I wanted in life? It threw me. You weren't Katherine, right from the beginning. I… you reminded me what it was to be human and even if I had wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to hurt you. I was truthful; I wanted you to find everything you were looking for; I still do, so even though I was curious about you, I let you go."

Elena could see the pure honesty in his face and slowly, reverently stretched out her fingers to caress his cheek. His eyelids fluttered closed at her touch.

"Elena…"

"Thank you," Elena whispered. "For being honest with me, like you always are. It's for that reason that I will always trust you, Damon. I know it's selfish of me, but I need you. As much as I don't deserve your forgiveness, I need you to help me get through this. Please, don't leave me now."

"Therein lies my biggest problem, Elena."

She glanced at him curiously as he slowly and deliberately returned to the sofa and downed the rest of his bourbon.

"I don't know how to leave you."

Elena smiled brilliantly and with another whispered word of thanks, she left a light kiss on Damon's cheek as she vanished into the night.

Apology: I'm really sorry to all the readers who wanted this story to go on. I felt like I was letting you all down by keeping it marked incomplete, as I realised a long time ago that I wouldn't be able to continue it. I had no further ideas for where the story would go, so I've decided to leave it as a oneshot and remove the second and third chapters. I hope you'll forgive me. Thank you for reading. ~ Kim