Author's note: Okay I really don't know what the hell is this lol. Just maybe what came to my mind while browsing through HetaOni MAD on youtube.. LIKE HNNG ALL MY FEELS IODHFIOHIFH And yeah and this is what came out of it. Really sucky but yeah please read and review thanks!
And to those who are waiting for me to update my other stories I'm really sorry OTL Currently on a major writer's block now ;A;
No matter how much I pray, this is a cruel world. What I want would never be mine. No matter how much I wished to see him again, I know I would never have the chance. No matter how much I wanted to protect everyone. It always fails. This is a very cruel world. How I wished this could just end already. How I wish everything was just a nightmare and I could just wake up already.
I have always wondered why me. Why am I the only one alive out here? Does God really despise the weak so much that he have to take away everything from me? All I want is to protect all that is precious to me. It is just so simple. I have to be stronger this time. I have to save everyone. If not, there is no worth in me. What I really want… Is for everyone to stay… Please do not leave me like he did… He promised and yet he did not return…
How many loops have passed? I stopped counting… All that is clear in my mind, I have yet failed again. I have failed to protect everyone again. Hey… Someone. Anyone… Help… I am really tired… Tired of living. No matter how much I scream and shout, nothing but silence reaches me. I miss Germany's scoldings… I miss everyone… Please…. No more…
Why am I so useless? Why can't I protect those who are so precious to me? Those who pray for my happiness… I really tried my best. To protect everyone, I'm ready to defy all of God's will. For them, my precious friends, I'm willing to do everything. Willing to destroy everything that threatens them… Even life.
It's really heavy… The weight of living… But I'll keep going on. I'll become stronger. So I can stop relying on all of my friends. I'll be the one who will protect all of you. I won't make anyone worry about me anymore. I'll end it this time. Everything.
It is just so weird. Why can't I remember anything? Why are there blank spots in my memories? The more I try to remember them, the more pain my head gets. It is as if my body itself is preventing myself from remembering the past. But somehow, somewhere in my heart, it hurts. It feels like I've sinned a lot. It feels like I've failed to do something very important.
Something… Worth more than my life.