A/N: I kinda wrote this one out of whim (when I'm supposed to be studying/doing homework), after watching some Gakuen Alice funny moments on Youtube, and also reading some crackfics XD So here's a random on of my own, and this is a one-shot where Koko writes an essay! It isn't all that great, but since I wrote it already, why not post it? (:

Warning: It is very nonsensical, as suggested by the title.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.

Holy Nonsensicality

Written by Rock-n-Round

"She's holy."

"And to think that I actually gave her my last gummy bear."

HEADLINES: Actor Koko writes an essay about his views on Gakuen Alice

It's nonsensical.

And when I, the magnificent Koko, think something is nonsensical – we must all be on guard, with a sword in our hands, ready lash out at the nonsensicality of the situation.

So firstly, there's the weird friendship and scenes that Mikan and Hotaru share. I've always thought that they were odd, but after watching the scene whereby Hotaru leaves for Alice Academy on my new iPhone… It just proves that I was right.

.

Mikan cries, running after Hotaru, dramatically screaming her name.

"Hotaru!"

She closes her eyes, tears pouring out.

"Hotaru!"

When Mikan's a jump away from Hotaru, her eyes gleam murderously and she hurls insults and random names at Hotaru.

.

Like, how is that even possible? Mikan's crying and screaming her best friend's name in such a sad and distraught manner. Then the next second she becomes evil and insulting. I mean, no one who is mentally sound is capable of doing that right? Well, it happened, so it only proves one thing.

That Mikan is actually a bipolar and diabolical person in disguise.

And to think that I actually gave her my last gummy bear.

Anyway, there's more.

.

Hotaru's seemingly calm and cool about the whole thing, arms at her side one moment – and at the next she pulls out a giant fly swatter to slap Mikan square across the face which probably sends her a good what? Fifty metres up in the air, I suppose?

Then Mikan comes flying back down, falling face first into the ground. And the best part is that she's almost unhurt, except for the fact that there's a bump the size of her fist and two band-aids sticking on it.

.

So, how did the giant fly swatter fit inside Hotaru's pocket? And who can actually survive being throw fifty metres up into the air and down again?

Normal people would die, you know – with their blood oozing out, bones smashed and intestines thrown out.

But there Mikan is, alive with only a massive bump on her head with two band-aids that magically appears out of nowhere. Hm, right. Nobody told me medical help was free and is something that appears as quick as a snap. All these years, I've been struggling to save up enough rabbits to see a doctor about my attention deficiency disorders, when it could be solved so easily by just getting my head bumped by a giant fly swatter? Good job, Koko.

Well, let me tell you this: My view of Mikan has definitely changed, alright. She's no longer the dense, innocent girl everyone knows. She's far more than that.

She's holy. Let me say this one more time.

HOLY.

.

Okay now, back to my story. There's was also that time when Natsume saw Mikan's underwear, right? After that incident, Mikan had cried waterfalls on a wooden table, with a will next to her.

So the point is that the tears should have been absorbed by the wooden table, but it didn't. And she had literally cried waterfalls – her tears were sprouting everywhere in large amounts. Mikan could be a water-hose. Aside from all that, she also wrote a will. A freaking will. An eleven year old child probably wouldn't know what a will is, let alone a supposedly dense one at that.

I know, nonsensical right?

Right.

And I'm Koko, right?

Right.

And that is why now, I shall attempt to recreate what a nonsensical story should look like.

Please cheer me on. Okay, wait. I order you to cheer me on, because I'm the magnificent Koko. So do it, or die.

.

It all starts in the elementary classroom of 2B. Mikan comes barging in after a hell of a long run from the dorms to the classroom, still happy and excited even though she's almost late. Then, the next thing she does is to put down her bag and go running into Hotaru's arms, even when the stoic inventor clearly does not want that to happen. But Mikan did so anyway, because she's so dense and innocent and what not.

That's why three seconds later she gets thrown to the wall by the impact of Hotaru's Baka Gun, version 1000 – because fans love to upgrade her Baka Gun that much. Mikan then picks herself up, not even angry at Hotaru for attempting to murder her, but instead only calling her a "meanie" and then she carries on with her life.

And that will then be the happy ending of the story.

.

So did I do any good? Of course I did. After all, I am the magnificent Koko.

Anyway, the moral of my holy story is that nonsensicality is actually a great way to attract viewers.

Well, for Gakuen Alice's case anyway.

Because holy nonsensicality rocks.

Holy Nonsensicality

A/N: HAHA I'm sorry if I just fried your brain from the retarded-ness of thing fic, so yeah :D Right, anyway, thanks for reading this story, and I hope you'll review to tell me what you think! ^^

(Last edit: Thursday, 16 August, 11.27PM - Singapore time) I read through it after Ariisha-chan reviewed and realised a couple of minor mistakes ^^