Those darned littluns!
All the biguns were fighting. Again. It was actually the fifth fight they had that day. And, of course, the littluns don't know what they're fighting about, so they became bored really fast. One of them, let's call him Arnold, decided that they should do something. "DO SOMETHING? WHAT IS THERE TO DO? WE'RE STUCK ON AN ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!" one cried. From now on he will be called Johnny.
"We could kill a pig!" one suggested. "Yeah, but that red haired kid will get mad at us if we hunt without him!" another said. "Yeah, but he doesn't have to know!" "What the hell are you talking about, Arnold?" Of course he'll find out!" "EVERYONE QUIET! I have an idea." A kid named Brandon said with a certain smirk.
"Whatcha got in mind?" some kid named George asked. "Golding is big meanie! We should a bigger part in the story, right?" "YEAH!" all the littluns shouted. "So if we kill all the pigs on the island, we would have to get a bigger part!" "Yeah, the part where we all get killed by Jack!" Johnny retorted. You can tell by now he's very pessimistic, can't you?
"Not if we run very, very fast!" Arnold said, proud of his brilliant plan. "HELLO! THIS IS AN ISLAND! HE'LL CORNER US FOR SURE!" Johnny screamed. You can tell Johnny also likes yelling. If I were Golding, this would mean something. But I'm not, so he's just a twit. "Hey author lady! Get on with the story! We have pigs to kill!" Brandon yelled. "But we're not going to kill the pigs! That's the hunters' job!" George said. "Then I declare us hunters!" Brandon said with a dramatic pose. All the littluns did a battlecry and charged into the jungle.
---------------------------
Meanwhile, the biguns were having another argument. That is, until they heard a bunch of shouting from the other side of the island. "What are those darned littluns doing now?" Ralph said, annoyed the power struggle was interrupted the one time Ralph was winning. But humans are evil, so he will never win. : P "I knew we shouldn't have left them alone." Piggy said. "Shut up, Fatty!" Jack snapped at the same time Ralph said, "Sucks to your ass-mar!"
"Hey, where's Roger?" Maurice asked. As if on cue, a rolling sound was heard and yep, you guessed it, Piggy was flattened. Where the boulder seemed to come from, stood Roger, who looked very proud that he had gotten rid of the, what he thought was, blubbering idiot.
---------------------------
"We can't kill them all! Golding planned ahead, the pigs keep magically appearing!" one littlun said. "Well keep trying! Author powers only work for so long!" Brandon said as they charged into the jungle for the second time.
TBC
A/N Yes I know I changed the plot. I like it better for this story. I'm trying a new attempt at humor since it was requested I write more LOTF fics. So I hope you enjoyed it and review! Oh yeah, for those who don't know, William Golding is the author of Lord of the Flies.