a/n: So I made a really crappy fanfiction earlier, despite the fact my reviewers liked it I still feel like something's off with it. So I decided to try this instead, my first ever Glee fanfiction. Actually, no. This isn't my first PQ fanfiction, I've written many and posted them on this site, but chickened out the next second because no one was reviewing and took it all down.
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it's killing me, so stop it.
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He holds her hand and squeezes her arm, just a little bit, with just a little force.
Her eyes mold into his and she grimaces, a terrible feeling overcoming her as she becomes paralyze with fear. She doesn't say anything, she's too scared for words, and he just stares at her, unsure of what to say, unsure of how to put it all together.
She pauses, gulping and eyeballing him regretfully, and the two words come out strangled, regretful and tired.
"I'm sorry."
He walks away without another word, every stomp breaks her like a shard of glass, the door slam crumbles her into pieces. He's breaking her, slowly and subconsciously. She wants to apologize, but at the same time doesn't. She's selfish, he's selfish, she's stubborn and so is he.
Nothing's gonna change that. And so, she gets up, trying to mend the broken pieces of her heart together and leaves the room, tears pricking in her eyes and rolling down her pale cheeks. She didn't expect anything else.
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She doesn't change her mind, she stays reluctant and stubborn, he's not surprised.
She keeps rejecting him, pushing him away reluctantly and keeps running away. That's what she's good for, turning on her heel, looking for the nearest and easiest exit and just running away from the situation.
He keeps coming back though, and tries to support the decisions she makes, but sometimes he just can't take the emotional pain he constantly suffers.
"It was a mistake."
He's tired of hearing the same line over and over again, and he's tired of all of the crap he puts up with for her, not like she cares. He sees her holding hands with his best friend, a smile on her lips, and strut in her walk, and her head up high. That Cheerio uniform of hers covering her baby bump and he's tired of her pretending.
The four words, thirteen letters ring in his head repeatedly, and crush him mercilessly.
/
She feels terrible when she takes off her Cheerio uniform and picks something out of her closet before school.
Finn holds her hand and tells her she looks beautiful and she smiles in gratitude, her heart plunging as she realizes she's betraying him, lying to him and refusing to tell him the truth he deserves.
He holds her close to him as they walk, ignoring the looks from their fellow schoolmates and Finn gets protective of her, glaring down anyone who stares at her. She sucks in her breath and notices Puck's eyes lingering on her with an unreadable emotion.
More guilt begins to flow through her as she passes by him, feeling as if she's about to cry. Being kicked off the Cheerios makes her want to scream, yell, and then break down uncontrollably, she did that once and she could do it again.
She walks past him and holds her breath, a heavy feeling in her chest.
She throws up that night, stroking her pregnant belly as she wipes the tears in her hazel eyes, lowering her tone to ensure her parents aren't woken up. A mental image of Puck fills her mind and she begins to sob quietly into her hands, her life tearing apart and the pain growing increasingly unbearable.
She wakes up the next day in her bed, her entire body feeling numb and tired, and she groans slightly.
She feels the need to run away, it all hurts too much.
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"Is it true?" The words fly out of Finn's mouth and she gulps, sobbing slightly.
She feels Rachel's sympathetic and regretful eyes on her as she gulps, taking a few steps toward the enraged teenage boy in front of her. She nods weakly, another tear rolling down her pale cheek. She admits it, refusing to pretend anymore because it's impossible, she lost the round, the game and the war.
He walks out on them, done with her and Glee.
She walks away, heartbroken and tearful, and breaks down. Berry apologizes, looking as if she might cry as well, and she accepts, not affording to fight things off with her, feeling dead inside.
Puck walks up to her next, sits down and tells her he still wants her. She's shocked, but broken still and not ready to be hurt again. She reluctantly refuses, pushing him aside yet again, and leaves, hoping he'll give up on her.
She's just too emotional, and he surprisingly understands.
/
He doesn't give up on her. His eyes still linger at her as she sits down, an image of her still gets stuck in his heads. It's one of the many things he hates about being in love with Quinn Fabray.
She walks down the hall and he stops her and pulls her away, into the janitor's closet, an unlikely but perfect place to settle this. Her reluctance and stubbornness finally gets to him and he can't take it anymore.
He goes into a rage, telling her that he's tired of putting up with all the crap she's given him, telling her that he put up with her dating his best friend fully aware of his feelings for her, and tired of her pretending that their baby doesn't exist.
He tells her he hated her hiding their kid under a superficial cheerleading uniform and hated her lack of gratitude and she stays silent throughout the entire rant, her gaze fixed on him.
"Well?" Is all that comes out after talking, he's breathless and waiting for a response.
Without warning, she kisses him, her eyes closed and relaxed, but slightly off. He responds to the kiss quick enough, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her roughly, greedily and enthusiastically. She throws her hands around his neck, the dim lighting and slight lack of oxygen makes her slightly dizzy.
She likes to pretend she didn't smile underneath the kiss, she likes to pretend her heartbeats weren't racing, and she likes to pretend she didn't lose herself somewhere along the way. He pulls away, a smug smile on his face.
"Are we...?" he asks, gasping for air.
"Yeah..." She finishes, breathless and fighting the grin that eventually steals her face.
/
Here are the things Quinn wants:
She wants to forget Puck =, completely and utterly, push him out of her system, fall out of love with him and move on with her life, along with permanently forgetting the name Beth and the way her soft skin felt against hers.
She wants to erase last summer from her memory, from her heart, from her dreams and from her thoughts, she wants to run away and never come back. She wants to do a lot of things, but is too much of a coward to do even one of them.
She trails down the path in front of her house, her black boots stepping on the cold pavement with slight anger. She crosses her arms and looks at the clouds, desperately trying to find a distraction at the moment.
She digs her boots into the grass and gulps, the view from the top building is too scary for her liking, and they bring back too many memories that constantly haunt her in her sleep.
/
He walks into school the next day, depressed and Quinn-less.
She's a cheerleader again, head cheerleader to be specific, and returned to her previous, bitchy self. She slushies people again, throws them into dumpsters, but remains nice and sweet to the Glee kids, because they're like her family. She finds herself a new boyfriend, the new kid, Sam Evans, who's on the football team.
She ignores him again, leaves him shattered behind and breaks him, slowly and easily, into nothing. He's not surprised, he kind of expects it from her. She breaks him, ruins him and tears him unintentionally whenever she leaves him, and yet it just makes him love her more.
Images of her are stuck in his head and he's broken, and she's broken.
She tells him again, "It was a mistake."
The four words hit him like a slap in the face, and he feels as if nothing changed and/or happened between them.
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And so, they end without a happy ending.
He loves her and she loves him, it's an obvious fact, common knowledge and everyone but Sam and Santana can sense it. He watches her kiss Sam, their lips connecting, their eyes locking, and their arms brushing against each other. She watches him kiss Santana, their lips connecting, their fingers linking and her head on his shoulder.
It tears both of them apart, and both of them are aware of it. But that they just can't be together; they're too broken, in too much pain, too stubborn and too tired of breaking each other. It's sad, though, they both love each other, but that doesn't mean they'll end up together. Fairytales don't always happen.
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a/n: I kind of hated that, but kind of liked it... I don't know! I'll probably take it down tomorrow, or the day after. Just review, okay? :)