Author's Note: Another cracktacular fic inspired by nothing but my desire to get some giggles out to our severely depressing fandom during this Degrassi drought.
I don't own Degrassi.
How To Make A Sandwich
By:
The Cast
of
Degrassi: The Next Generation
Clare:
1. Make an intriguing, delicious, fascinating sandwich everyone else wants you to eat
2. Take the smallest of tantalizing bites of said sandwich
3. Put sandwich down suddenly after biting into ingredients you weren't prepared for
4. Randomly find another sandwich
5. Scream at first sandwich
6. Eat second sandwich
Eli:
1. Make an amazing sandwich that fascinates everyone
2. Shoot it with a rifle
3. Make another sandwich
4. Set it on fire
5. Make another sandwich
6. Eat it on a bike ride, finally at peace with your sandwich-making
Jake:
1. Make sandwich.
2. Eat sandwich.
3. Repeat steps 1 & 2
4. Take a bite out of your sister's sandwich. Cause there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Anya:
1. Watch everybody else make a sandwich
2. Try to copy their recipes
3. Lie to everybody about your sandwich
4. Cry over sandwich
5. Have your sandwich fall apart on a dirty bathroom floor
6. Realize that you can make a pretty damn good sandwich all on your own
7. Assemble that damn good sandwich in under 30 seconds and enjoy every last bite
Katie:
1. Make a perfectly symmetrical, very organized sandwich from a professional recipe
2. Stick those little cellophane stick-things in the center of the sandwich
3. Put it on a nice plate with garnish and make it look like it belongs in a food commercial
4. Throw sandwich away without taking a single bite when no one is looking
5. Lie and say you ate the sandwich when their backs were turned
6. Repeat steps
Fiona:
1. Order sandwich from a gourmet deli in Venice
2. Get worried the sandwich will never come and drink a bottle of champagne instead
3. Lose the sandwich because you're too drunk to accept the delivery
4. Cry over your failure and loss
5. Listen to Holly J give you a pep talk and try again
Owen:
1. Flex your muscles and act like a jerk
2. Throw some other people's sandwiches out the window
3. Sneer at other people's sandwich-making
4. Call the guy on the peanut butter jar a bunch of juvenile, sexist nicknames
5. When nobody else is looking, go into a corner and make a perfect sandwich, quietly eating every bite
Fitz:
1. Pray for a sandwich
2. Believe that God shall provide you a path to the right sandwich
3. Ask Clare to make a sandwich for you
4. End up in the Degrassi Bermuda Triangle before what could have been a very interesting sandwich is ever made
Drew:
1. Get the ingredients together
2. Get up in their faces and yell, "TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT MAKING A SANDWICH!"
4. Breathe heavily through your nose and struggle against the three people holding you back from hitting the ingredients
5. Eventually get it together enough to make a sandwich that turns out to be not half-bad and surprises everyone in the end
Adam:
1. Make a turkey sandwich
2. Ignore everybody who persists in telling you that what you really need to make is a PB&J.
3. Lose faith and make the PB&J anyway
4. Hate the PB&J and doubt your sandwich-making skills
5. Realize that you don't have to make the sandwich everyone wants you to make
6. Make an awesome sandwich, just like you were meant to all along
Bianca:
1. Take a bite out of other people's sandwiches
2. Look really sexy
3. Get into a cat fight over a sandwich
4. Apologize for biting into other people's sandwiches
5. Make an interesting, delicious sandwich that leaves people wanting more
Jenna:
1. Sneak up and steal other people's sandwiches from under their noses
2. Get food poisoning
3. Try to make your own sandwich-making skills work
4. Become overwhelmed with the difficulty of it
5. Give up your sandwich-making skills
6. Strum guitar
Alli:
1. Make a ham sandwich to appease parents
2. When their backs are turned, make a cheddar and roast beef sandwich
3. Take naked photos of yourself eating the sandwich
4. Get in huge trouble when your parents find the crumbs
5. When things start getting better for you, continuously find a way to mess everything up and ruin every attempt to make a new sandwich
6. Repeat Step 5 ad infinitum.
K.C.:
1. Start off making tasty, interesting sandwiches
2. Take a bite out of a sandwich you weren't supposed to eat
3. Suddenly become too dumb to put a sandwich together
4. Want to be a better sandwich maker, but lack the motivation to do it
5. Realize sometimes, good sandwich-making isn't enough
Marisol:
1. Make sandwiches with your friends since kindergarten
2. Backstab other friends and try to take their sandwiches
3. Smoke couch weed
4. Get the munchies and eat a ton of sandwiches
Degrassi Writers:
1. Make a ton of sandwiches
2. Throw them at everyone
3. Laugh at their pain and confusion
4. Eat some snacks & continue trolling the universe