Authors Note: Thank you for reading this story, I enjoy seeing that people read it. I´d like to ask you to leave a review if you want, I like getting feedback. So enjoy the story :)
Disclaimer: None of those characters are mine, they all belong to the one and only JK Rowling, however, I do own the plot.
October 1978
Lily and James´ first kiss was certainly an occasion to remember. Not only because it was the best kiss either one of them had ever experienced - and it truly was but also because of the circumstances. But let´s start from the beginning.
James had snogged a good amount of girls before, for it seemed like girls were drawn to him and as Sirius always said, he couldn´t just ignore the opportunities simply because Lily Evans wasn't one of them, could he? He wasn't a child of sorrow, although Lilys frequent rejections did hurt, but if he was completely honest, he enjoyed those little perks. They mostly came to him after Quidditch matches. If they won, he´d celebrate with everyone in the common room. There he´d sit and happily chat to everyone and as soon as Evans got somewhat close to him he´d always suggest a kiss as reward from her. If they lost, he´d still sit in the commons room and would ask for a kiss to help him get over their loss. Either way those conversations always sounded the same and usually Lily would outsmart him.
It was the beginning of their seventh year, they had won the Quidditch match and had absolutely crushed Slytherin with 360 to 30 which explained the enthusiastic celebration in the Gryffindor common room. Sirius, Peter, Remus and James had disappeared for a little while and Sirius, Remus and James had come back with their arms full of butterbeer and sweets from Honeydukes whereas Peter had come back followed by little army of house-elves carrying lots of snacks and pumpkin juice and they had been greeted by loud cheers. Lily had actually wanted to go upstairs to her dormitory but Alice, Dorcas, Marlene and Mary had convinced her to stay so she was sitting in the of the armchairs in front of the fireplace, a butterbeer in her hand and and chatting lively to Mary. Marlene and Alice had left their little group, Alice was snuggled up with Frank on one of the couches, Marlene was standing next to the windows with Sirius and they were flirting heavily. Lilys eyes travelled over the crowd in the common room until she found Remus, who was standing close to the staircase to the dormitory and she couldn't help but smile, because even though he was in a discussion with Elaine and Patrick his eyes kept flickering to Sirius. James was sitting across the room and she felt that he was looking at her. She tried not to look at him because lately her stomach had been getting fuzzy whenever their eyes met and sometimes she even got flustered. She was used to being witty and always had a smart comeback to James' but lately she sometimes had problems to come up with one of those smart comebacks.
"Lily?, Hey Lily, are you listening?"
Mary and Dorcas were looking at her and only now did Lily realize that she stopped paying attention to what Mary had been saying, instead she´d been looking into James eyes. Now James got up and started to make his way through the room, towards her.
"Oh no, oh no,nononono, quick Alice, say something!"
But before Alice even had the chance to say something James was standing in front of them, smiling his special smile that made him look shy but so confident at the same time.
"Well Evans, did you enjoy the match?"
Lily rolled her eyes at Mary, turned back to James and tried to maintain a completely uninterested facial expression.
"If you´re asking whether I enjoyed getting completely drenched while trying to make out who was scoring because everybody was screaming so loudly that it was impossible to listen to the commentator - I´d have to say no."
Silently Lily congratulated herself for that comeback which also meant that she couldn´t suppress a little smile.
„Ohhh Evans, now that really hurt!",
James held his hand over his heart, falling onto a nearby couch right behind him, acting as if he had just been stabbed. He didn't even seem to notice that he fell on a couple of first years that had been sitting there as if they weren't sure they were welcome to join the party.
„Potter, would you mind not crushing younger years with that enormous head of yours?"
Lily's voice had turned ice-cold, she hated it when Potter and Black behaved around the common room as if they owned everything and didn't even care if someone got hurt.
„You´re head-boy for Merlin's sake, you could at least pretend to be a civilised human being."
She was busy checking on the first years and reassuring them and so she didn´t notice the look of hurt that swept over James face. Before he could open his mouth to utter a comeback he was caught in a hug by Valeria Fisher, a very blond and very dumb fifth year who was pouting at James now.
„James-Pooky, come on back over to us, we miss your jokes!"
She grabbed his shirt front and started to playfully pull him into said direction.
„Well ladies, you heard it, my presence is needed, I´ll see you tomorrow."
And off he went. Dorcas and Mary looked at Lily and she actually managed to roll her eyes and smile at them.
„I think I´m gonna go to bed, it´s been a long day and..."
They would never hear the end of that sentence because when Lily got up from her armchair, the first thing she saw was Valeria sitting on James lap, her hands around his chest, snogging him senseless. Lily felt as if something broke inside her and she could feel the tears welling up and then she was on her way out of the common room hearing Marlene and Dorcas shouting her name but she didn´t care, she just started running, just trying to get away from them. When she finally slowed down she was breathless, standing in front of the closed library and surprised to find tears running down her face. She leaned on a wall trying to figure out what was going on. She couldn´t explain to herself why it had hurt so much when James kissed Valeria. James and her were heads and they worked well together. Of course, the beginning had been quite awkward, she hadn´t been able to believe that Dumbledore had made James Potter head-boy. The number one rule-breaker, the one biggest prankster, the one that held the record for the most detention served - with Sirius of course. She thought Dumbledore was joking and the memory of the meeting every head-pair had to have with Dumbledore on the first day back at school made her groan. She had sat in front of Dumbledore´s desk with James to her left and listened to Dumbledore welcoming them as the new heads pair and that he was exceptionally pleased that they both accepted the position. He told them what was expected of them, their duties and their privileges but the entire time Lily had sat there and waited for him to notice that the wrong boy was sitting next to her. She must have looked expectantly at Dumbledore because he stopped in his speech and his blue eyes focused directly on her.
"Is something bothering you Miss Evans?"
She had blushed, "Professor", taken a deep breath and continued, "why is James Potter here?" Dumbledore had given her a look slight surprise while James had groaned out loud and muttered something like "Oh not this again" in his non-existent beard.
"Well Miss Evans, I´m sure you have noticed the badge on Mister Potters robe that says head-boy, so it´s safe to assume that he is here because he is the head-boy. I infer from your question that you do not agree with his appointment, might I ask why?"
She had held a monologue of why James Potter was not a proper choice for head-boy during which James´ face had switched between a hurtful and a nostalgic look, whenever she brought up the pranks he had been involved in, which had made her even more furious. In the end Dumbledore had to assure her that the right boy was sitting next to her and that he had certainly intended to make Potter head-boy and the he was also certain that they´d make a wonderful team. Even now she felt the embarrassment gather in her and she let out another groan.
"As much as I like to hear that sound coming out of you, I´d much rather hear it because of something I did."
Lily scrambled to get up when she heard James voice right next to her.
"Potter! You scared me! What are you doing here?"
Lily´s heart was beating rapidly and for a split second she wasn´t sure whether it was because of the shock his sudden appearance had given her - or if it was because she had felt his breath on her face and looked directly into his beautiful hazel eyes. James looked at her and once again he was struck by the sheer beauty of her, even after he had scared her she seemed to have a glow surround her.
"I saw you storm out of the common room looking rather upset. What happened?"
She just stared at him and while she was getting over the shock, he took the time to took a good look at her. She obviously seemed a bit flustered which didn´t worry him too much but he could tell that she had been crying and that definitely worried him. He grabbed her shoulder and looked at her intently.
"Lily, are you alright? What happened? Was it the Slytherins? Why are were you crying?"
Lily could hear the worry in his voice and for a moment she was touched that he had left the party to come after her, but then she remembered why she had left the common room in the first place and all of the sudden she felt anger pilling up inside her and she broke away from him.
"I´m perfectly fine and old enough to be outside by myself, it´s none of your business why I am here and don´t you dare to touch me again Potter." Her voice had turned into a hiss and James pulled his hands away as if he got burned, his face in shock.
"Lily, I … "
"Don´t you Lily me and don´t pretend you care." Her eyes had become very narrow and she was glaring at him. " You might be head-boy but I do not have to inform you of where I´m going and why. So why don´t you bugger off to your friends and see if you can get into enough trouble that the headmaster finally realizes that you´re only an arrogant git, who struts around this school thinking he owns the place, breaks rules left and right without ever thinking and bullies just for the pure fun of it."
He took a step back, his face hardened and he squared his shoulders but she wasn´t done yet. All the hurt that had been building up, all the anger and the annoyance with him started to find its way out.
"Did you ever stop and think of how the people around you feel? Did you ever stop and think that your pranks might be funny to you but that they really hurt the people that were on the receiving end of your pranks? Did you ever stop and think about how hurt all these girls are when you snog them one night and ignore them the next day? No, of course you didn´t. You are such a self-centred twat, you, you..." she couldn´t speak any more because her throat was blocked with tears she didn´t want to shed. So she just stood there and did her best to glare at him the best she could before those tears forced their way out. She could see that her words had made James angry, his jaw was clenched and his fists were shaking. She had only once seen him like this before which was during fifth year, when Severus had called her a mudblood.
"Oh that´s funny that you are telling me to start caring about peoples feelings Evans, very funny. Coming from a person who probably doesn´t even have feelings this is quite a low blow!"
He turned around and started to walk away but now Lily was livid and there was no way she´d let him have the last word in this.
"I don´t have feelings, I DON`T HAVE FEELINGS? How DARE you to say that I don´t care about other peoples feelings, you have no idea who I am or what I feel, all that you know is to strut around this school like you own it and mess things up or snog every girl that you can seem to get your hands on!" She was basically shrieking at him which seemed to fuel his anger.
"Yea right you care about other peoples feelings? Well, I can´t confirm that, seeing how you never cared about my feelings!"
"Your feelings? Feelings for what? Quidditch? Great feelings you know you..."
"Feelings for YOU Evans!", James thundered. "I don´t know if you have been paying attention but I have been asking you out since fourth year and guess what, it wasn´t exactly fun to get rejection after rejection, it´s actually quite heart breaking, especially if you love that person as much as I love you."
Lily was stunned. She had expected a lot but not this, if she wasn´t mistaken he was declaring his love for her and he sounded sincere. She couldn´t say anything, it was like all her words had suddenly disappeared, so she just stared at him, taking in what she saw. She knew James wasn't a terrible looking guy but she had never paid attention to how handsome he was. He was tall and muscular, definitely proving how athletic he really was. His black hair was as messy as always, Lily suspected he had ruffled it before he went to look for her but for the first time she didn´t care. His eyes were a gorgeous shade of hazel and his lips... were moving. He had started to speak again but she had completely zoned out while she had looked at him.
"... feel like wrapping my arms around you whenever you walk into the common room and when you smile it´s like the sun comes out. Your laughter is sweeter than Honeydukes chocolate and I want you around me all day. Whenever another guy speaks to you I just want to hex their bollocks off. I´ve tried to get over you, why do you think I´ve been other girls? I´ve done my best but it just doesn´t work because for some reason you, Lily, are the one I want. But you don´t want me and I´ve think I got it. I won´t bother you anymore, I won´t ask you out again. Wizards promise. Good night." James gave her a weak smile, turned around and started to walk off and then he was out of sight.
Lily was still stunned. She had expected a lot but definitely not this, she was shocked, her legs were shaking so she sat down. James Potter had just declared his love to her. JAMES POTTER had just declared his LOVE to her. She couldn´t believe it. And what was even worse, his words had touched her heart. She could clearly feel it beating like crazy and she had this weird fuzzy feeling in the stomach that she couldn´t explain. Well, if she was honest she could explain it, but it was absolutely absurd, impossible... "absolute madness!", she whispered to herself.
And with that she realized that she loved him. She loved James Potter, the most immature, kind, handsome git this school had to offer. She got up and started walking in the direction James had left and when she turned around the corner she started running. She passed by portraits that called after her telling her to slow down, she´d hurt someone like this but Lily just didn´t care. She ran as fast as she could, passing Filch and Mr. Norris, ignoring them as well when he tried to stop her and give her detention. She also passed Severus and a couple of his nasty friends who were clearly breaking the curfew but she just couldn´t be bothered right now, she had to find James and when she just thought she wouldn´t find him in a castle this big she saw him. He was walking down the corridor and she could tell from the distance that he was upset. For a moment she hesitated, remembering his last words about leaving her alone but then she couldn´t stop herself.
"James!", she was nearly shrieking again but the didn´t care. He turned around and she could see a flicker of hope on his face before he managed to get a hold of himself. She was still running towards him when he said something like "if you´re here to lecture me about feelings you better" but she didn´t let him finish whatever he tried to say. She flung himself at him, sending them both crashing onto the ground, him underneath her and with all the courage she could muster she kissed him. She could feel James surprise and pulled back to look at him. His face was in total shock, like he didn´t understand what was going on but Lily was lost for words. All she could manage was a little smile and another quick peck on his lips, before she got up. She waited until he stood too to say something but James beat her to it.
"What... what was... that?" he still seemed to be in shock.
"That, James, was a kiss. I thought you´d be familiar with such things" she responded, smiling at him. James brows furrowed at her words.
"I know what a kiss is but if I re-call the last minutes it seems like we had an argument where..." The memory of her words crossed through his mind and the effect could clearly be seen on his face. Lily felt horrible for being the cause of that, she couldn´t help but scoot closer to him, putting one of her hands on his arm. They were standing very close now, so close that Lily had to tilt her head up to be able to look in James eyes.
"I´m sorry. I´m so, so sorry for what I said. I never realized that you were sincere when asking me out and I only just realized that I feel the same way about you. I should have noticed it sooner but I didn´t so all I can say I hope you will forgive me because I love you and I´m so so..." She couldn´t finish what she had meant to say because James brought his lips crushing down onto hers and kissed her in such a passionate way that it quite literally took her breath away. James pulled away, smiling the brightest and biggest smile he had and gave her a very long hug. She took a deep breath and couldn´t believe what had happened. James looked at her questioningly, but she just smiled at him because she was at a loss for words. All she knew was that she wanted to kiss him again and, as if he had read her mind he cupped her face in his hands, leaned down and kissed her in a very gentle way.
It had been the most amazing kiss Lily had ever shared, she felt like she was floating on a cloud, it rallied the butterflies in her stomach and made her so happy, she had never felt this happy before. Too soon the kiss was over and left Lily craving another one. James rested his forehead against hers, her hands resting on his chest and she could´ve gladly stayed right in this spot for the rest of their lives.
"Mister Potter, Miss Evans. May I ask what has gotten into you?"
Professor McGonagalls voice cut through the peaceful silence and made both of them jump. There she was standing, wearing a red-tartan robe, her hair hanging loosely over her shoulders but glaring at them nonetheless. Next to her was Filch, smiling cheerfully, muttering things to his cat.
James puffed out his chest and cleared his throat.
"Good evening Professor. Lily and I had been on patrol and it..."
He couldn´t finish his intended sentence because Professor McGonagall interrupted him.
"Mister Potter, I´m quite aware of what you´ve been doing. Hadn´t it been for Mr. Filch here, who came running to wake me up to report some 'inappropriate behaviour" going on in the corridors I would still be happily asleep, but seeing how I´m already awake I´ll better take care of it."
She came closer to them and Lily felt nervous, she didn´t want to get into trouble, she was the head-girl, head girls didn´t get into trouble. She wanted to defend herself but before she could say something, Professor McGonagall broke out into a smile and clapped her hands together.
"I´m so glad you finally found each other, oh you won´t believe how much I had hoped it would happen. It´s a pity it took the two of you so long, Albus will furious, his bet was that it would take at least until Christmas for this to happen!"
Lily and James were gaping at her, not believing what they were hearing while Professor McGonagall was beaming at them.
"On a more serious note, please no more sneaking around the castle anymore, you have the heads quarters to be undisturbed, I´d greatly appreciate not being woken up because of you two again or I will take points. So, now chop, chop to your dorms. Good night, and again, congrats."
James grabbed Lily´s hand and pulled her around the corner and through a tapestry to a hidden tunnel. Once they were in the middle of said tunnel, James started laughing and soon Lily was sitting next to him on the ground, giggling like mad.
"And did you see Filch´s face?", she could barely breathe.
James looked at her and she felt her blush, because of the intensity and then he was right in front of her and kissed her again. And Lily was happy, because this proved itself to be the best year at Hogwarts yet and somehow she knew that this wasn´t going to end once they graduated. They were young and in love and she couldn't´t wait to see their friends faces. For now, though, she was more than content to sit here, on the floor of a hidden tunnel of Hogwarts, snogging James Potter. Her James Potter.
