A/N: This story is made purely for you guys. No, I do not condone child molestation or rape, nor do I find it funny or okay. This is FICTIONAL writing. No there won't actually be any rape or anything like that, but there will be mentions of it and allusions to it.
**For anyone who doesn't know this, Batman DOES NOT molest anyone, especially not his Robin's, but that is what Joker has sewn into his nephew and his daughter's minds so they won't ever trust Batman if they ever came across him**
Be Careful Little Ears What You Hear
Vincent Frost and Lucyfer Quinn twiddled their thumbs and constantly let out huffs and puffs as The Joker and Harley continued bickering about whether or not it's legal to turn at a stop light when the light is red, as long as no one is coming, or not.
They were headed home from a night out on the town aka - ice cream stop for Lucy.
It was 12:30 in the morning, which Joker knew good and well what that meant: The Bat was also spending a night out on the town.
He thought about just stopping at Halfwit, having a few drinks, letting Lucy help the dancers with their make up and play with their fancy diamond rings and other fine jewels he knew the owner, Ronnie, bought for them. But, he also knew Harley was in no shape to be left to baby sit the two kids, so he continued home and if he got caught by the bastard in the cape, then so be it. He'd just sick Harley on him, like he always did.
"It's legal as long as you yield and make sure no one's coming," Harley's argument pulls him back to reality and he raises his brows.
"Huh?" He asks and she looks at him like she's about to kill him.
"You weren't even listenin'!" she suddenly yells and he slams on breaks.
"Do you want to walk home?" he snaps at her and she flips him off before opening her door and getting out, slamming it shut.
"Oh, she is so dead." He curses under his breeath and gets out as well, slamming his door shut, too. "You two stay in here." He orders them through the window and Lucy and Vinny look at each other before watching him slip into the shadows of an alley way.
Several minutes passed by, and with each second it seemed like the night grew darker and darker, and the street lights would flicker creepily every now and then.
"Vinny, what of the Bat's out here?" Lucy asks with a shaky voice.
"I - I don't know, Lucy." He replies in the same tone,
That's when they see it.
Standing only a hundred feet away in the light of a street lamp, the figurine of someone, something.
Pointy ears, broad shoulders, flowing cape.
The two hug each other, their eyes wide with terror, fear shooting up their spines.
"Where's Mommy and Daddy?" Lucy asks frantically, scared to take her eyes of the thing.
"I don't know." Vinny replies, his breathing picking up immensely.
The thing starts towards them slowly and Lucy lets out a squeal, burying her face into Vinny's shoulder.
As it gets closer, they finally admit their fears.
It's the Batman.
"It's him, it's him!" Lucy shrieks. "Vinny, we gotta run!" she unbuckles and he does the same, too terrified to argue.
She opens her door and doesn't even look back to see if Vincent made it out okay. She just takes his hand in hers and takes off running.
His foot got caught in the seat belt, making him fall flat on his face in the pavement and she looks back and rushes to him.
"C'mon, Vinny, we gotta go." she tells him quietly, not wanting the predator after them to over hear her. As her mind drifts back to him, she looks to see if he's any closer. When she sees he's not even there anymore, she panics.
"Vinny!" She whisper yells.
That's when she hears it. Someone breathing.
She gasps and looks up to see the Bat looking down at them from on top of the car.
"Fuck that!" She squeals, dragging Vinny behind her as she runs as fast as she possibly can into the alley that her parents disappeared into.
But just being in the alley wasn't enough.
She swung open the door of an old warehouse at the end of the alley and she and Vinny both rushed behind a crate.
"Vinny, are you okay?" She takes a deep breaths as she whispers to him and He looks at her with wide eyes, too scared to even speak.
Meanwhile . . .
"Mistah J, I swear to God if you don't lemme go, I'm gonna cut your balls off."
"You love them too much, ya ungrateful twerp."
"Yeah, I'm the ungrateful." She hisses back.
"Can you just shut up for two seconds, Harley? I"m trying to say 'sorry' and you won't let me."
"Cause I don't need your dumb apology, ya bastard."
"Then I'm not gonna waste my time tryin' to give it to ya!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!" They both huff, turning to face away from each other, crossing their arms in frustration.
That's when they hear it. A scream.
"Was that Lucy?" Harley asks him and he furrows his brows.
Then another one.
"Was that Vincent?" He asks her and she raises his brows.
"Did you leave them in the car?" she asks him and he looks down for a moment. "You left them in fuckin' car at 12 in the mornin' in the middle of down town Gotham? Do ya want the Bat to take 'em from us?!" She cries out and he rolls his jaw.
"Maybe I wouldn't have needed to leave them in the car if you just would've been acting like and adult instead of child who hadn't gotten their way." he snaps back and she opens her mouth in shock.
"You ain't got no room to talk like that about me! You do the same shit, J!"
"Bet." He scoffs.
"On my life!" She raises her voice and another scream makes them look towards the front door of the warehouse as Lucy and Vinny rush in and duck behind a crate, not noticing the two.
Harley starts towards them worriedly but she's quickly snatched back by J.
She;s about to speak up against him until they see the Bat come in.
Joker moves them behind a tall crate and motions for Harley to be quiet.
Batman searches around for a moment, and J can feel fire boil through him when Lucy cries out.
He had found them and was currently trying to calm them down so he could take them to the GCPD.
Lucy and Vinny felt terror shoot through them the second Batsy grabbed their arms.
She and Vinny both started kicking and screaming, crying out for help.
"Get off us, ya dumb bat!" She clawed at his arm as he grabbed her around the waist.
"I'm not going to hurt you!" He assured them but Vinny wasn't buying it.
"Don't let him hurt me, Lucy!" He had tears rolling down his cheeks and Lucy felt a sudden urge of energy.
"Don't touch my cousin!" She started hitting him harder, kicking and fighting with all her might. She managed to get away from him, but that still left Vinny to fend for himself.
"Don't let him take me, Lucy! Don't let him hurt me!" Vincent pleaded with the girl.
She felt her own tears dot her eyes and she grabbed a stray crow bar from the ground and hit the back of the bat's knee with it, making him fall forward a little bit, leaving enough time for Vinny to get away.
She shoved her baby cousin behind her and narrowed her eyes, the crow bar still in her hand.
"You aren't gonna be touchin' any of my Vinny's holes, Bats!" She growls at him and Batman gets a look of utter confusion on his face.
"What the hell are you talking about?" He can't help but ask the kid.
"My Daddy told me exactly how you work. It's why you always get little boys to be Robin. You like stretchin' their holes to the size of shower drains!"
Harley hears her daughter and looks at the Joker with arched brows and a pissed off expression.
"You didn't." She mumbles to him.
He looks at her with a blank expression and she sighs.
"You did."
"What?!" Bats furrowed his brows. Is that really what Joker had thought about him recruiting children to be Robin?
Of course not. He knew he had just told the kids that to scare them, and to make him look bad.
"Don't play innocent, I know what you really do to reward your birdies for a good nights when you get back to the bat cave. Can't fool me, Batsy." she waves the crow bar around the Joker feels a shot of pride hit him.
His little girl, taunting the bat. She was all grown up.
"I don't do that, your father's lied to you about that."
"You callin/ my Daddy a liar?!" She was about to hit him with the bar again, but he holds a hand up in surrender.
"No, I never said that."
"You just said he lied to me about it. Your words not mine. Do I need to repeat exactly what was said? Cause I can do that for ya." She pipes smartly.
He just sighed and looked down at the blonde.
"What are you two doing out here alone?"
"What makes you think we're alone?"
He looks around and looks back at her, as if it weren't obvious.
"You better not hurt us, Mommy and Daddy'll make you sorry if you do."
"I'm not going to hurt you, I do need to get you two to the GCPD."
"What the hell, why?" She hisses and he looks down at her.
"It's not safe for two children to be wandering Gotham alone."
"First of all, Bats, we can fend for ourselves. Second of all, we ain't alone, and third of all, I gotta crow bar!" She grits through her teeth.
Her entire attitude reminded him of Harley. She was her mother's daughter.
When he doesn't answer, she decided to swing at him. He places his hand on her forehead and she closes her eyes and swings the crow bar, never hitting him, but tries anyway.
Joker feels more anger at the sight of Batman making his daughter look like a dumb broad.
He picks up his own crowbar on top of the crate he and Harley are behind and he walks towards the bat and his daughter.
He taps the man on the shoulder, and when he turns around, he hits him as hard as he can in the head, knocking him out.
Lucy opens her eyes, mistaking her father's work as her own, and she looks up at her parents with big blue eyes and a wide, wide smile.
"I did it!" she jumps up and down. "I saved Vinny from the Batman, Mommy did ya see that?!" she shakes her hands and laughs giddily.
Harley looks at J and crouches down to her daughter.
"I'm very proud." she brushes the hair from her face. "Vincent, you okay?" Harley asks him gently and he looks up at her.
He nods and she helps him up, hugging him to her.
"Alright, let's go." Lucy skips to the door, and Joker picks her up and sits her on his shoulders. "Did ya see me, Daddy? Batsy was shakin' in his boots!"
"How could I miss it, Kiddo? I might have to hire you to do my talking for me." He tells her and she giggles.
Hope you enjoyed, let me know what you thought of it!