Everywhere
(Set after the end of SamChamp.)
It's near the ashes that he finds her. The teahouse, owned by a loving old couple, has burnt to the ground, and he finds her staring at the remains. Its skeleton is there but the spirit is dead; he's reminded of human loss.
Her arms are limp and her fists are curled. She bites her lip, crying thin streams of salt that streak her face with red.
There are two types of women in the world: the type whose eyes grow red and puffy when they cry, and the type who show pain in only the most beautiful way.
Jin decides that she is one of the latter. Her hurt is like art.
It's near the ashes and the teahouse that he finds this.
-
It's near the whorehouse that he finds her. Its walls, and its cages lined in rows, make him uneasy. He stalks past for days, not knowing whether to be troubled or comforted by the fact that, there, behind the bars, her pretty face is always waiting.
Her hair hangs loosely, untamed. It's wavy and he can tell that the other women do it for her, patiently, but she takes the strings and clips out. This is one reason he admires her. Even when the ordinary is unflattering, she accepts it.
Ordinary is who she is.
It's near the whorehouse that he finds this.
-
It's near the bridge that he finds her. The planks she stands over are rotted and well trodden upon. The gleaming water just a feet below is shallow, yet its brilliant blue color gives it the image of depth. It isn't deep enough to drown in, and he takes this in without blinking.
Her eyes are squinted in self-pity and they shine only with defeat. Her arms are folded over the bridge's rope railing, and her stance is precarious because half of her body is hanging forward, past the ropes.
He tells her that suicide isn't the answer. She thanks him without looking up, and when he guides himself to the area beside her, stepping cautiously, she grants him a small, soft smile.
He thinks smiling like that must take mammoth-like effort, and he wonders what it must cost her to pretend living in a perfect world.
She is a good actress; he doesn't doubt it, and he thinks he likes it better that way.
It's near the bridge that he finds this.
-
It's everywhere that he finds her. Her first tears were like seeds, and he carries them with him wherever he goes. They are in his pocket, growing around the frames of his glasses, winding throughout his muscles and tissue, and they grow and burst and live.
It's near the ashes and the teahouse that he finds her. It's near the whorehouse that he finds her. It's near the bridge that he finds her.
(And it's near the bridge that he leaves her, too.)
The seeds exist everywhere there is pretending.
It's everywhere that he finds them.
Fin.