Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.
Written for Hogwarts Assignment 9 - Religious Education, Task 8 - Somebody producing a Patronus for the first time.
Beta'd by the lovely Sam
Other Challenges listed at the bottom.
Word Count - 1348
A Memory Worthy Of A Patronus
His quill flew across the parchment, his hand aching with the amount he'd written. Sitting back in his chair, he sighed, staring at the pile of books on the desk. He'd finally finished the theory sections of his work, but the practical, this particular practical, filled him with dread.
The wireless radio played from the corner of the room, Celestina Warbeck screeching about a long lost love. How she was still so popular, Theo had no idea. Picking his wand up from the desk, he spelled the radio off. He already had the beginnings of a headache, and she really wasn't helping matters.
Twirling his wand in his hands, Theo sighed again.
"Tell me what all the sighing's about," a voice from the doorway said, making Theo jump.
When he saw Blaise smirking at him from where he stood, he rolled his eyes. "Jackass."
Blaise snorted, walking into the room properly, the light from the lamps only highlighting his handsome features. He dropped himself into his favourite armchair, eyeing Theo over clasped hands. "Go ahead. Tell me all your troubles, I'll make it all better."
"I have to learn to cast a Patronus and… well. You remember how well it went when I tried to learn at school."
"Is that it?"
"What do you mean, is that it? If I don't learn to cast this spell, I won't get my Healer's certificate. You know how much I've put into this!"
"I mean exactly what I said," Blaise replied. "I'll help you. I'm an excellent teacher."
Theo snorted.
"It's just not cool to disagree with me," Blaise murmured, indignation colouring his tone. "Especially when you have no idea just how good a teacher I am. Rude, Theo."
Holding his hands up in surrender, Theo placated, "Fine, fine, I'm sorry. Come on, show me what you got."
"Ooh, saucy," Blaise sniggered. "But this is a serious lesson, Theodore, we don't have time for those kinds of shenanigans."
"Why do I put up with you?"
"Because I'm your best friend and you love me. Now, come stand here with me."
Blaise got up, standing in the middle of the room. Theo joined him, waiting as Blaise stared at him with disbelief.
"Mate. You'll need your wand."
Theo blinked and turned to see his wand lying innocently on the desk where he'd set it down.
"Ah. Yeah. I knew that."
Blaise shook his head but waited for Theo to rejoin him. "Right, Patronus. Happy memory. Focus completely on the memory, let yourself sink into it until you're feeling the same joy you were feeling in that moment."
Theo thought for a moment, searching his mind for a happy memory. If he was honest with himself, they were few and far between. His father hadn't exactly been a man to inspire fluffy thoughts, and the war had taken up much of their time at Hogwarts.
Settling on the moment he got his Hogwarts letter, Theo nodded to Blaise that he was ready.
"Say the spell, slowly and clearly."
"Expecto Patronum," Theo intoned. A white mist shot out of his wand, lingering in the air for a moment before Theo dropped his wand. Running a hand through his hair in frustration, he shrugged his shoulders.
"That's as far as I've been able to get. To get my credentials, I need to be able to produce a real Patronus."
Blaise tilted his head. "What memory were you using?"
"Hogwarts letter," Theo replied, dropping himself onto the sofa. "I don't understand why it didn't work."
"Are you sure it was happiness you were feeling?"
Theo nodded. "Of course. The relief that I was finally getting away from home was overwhelming. I literally floated two foot in the air for about an hour. It was quite funny actually, my father couldn't overcome the accidental magic. We just had to wait it out."
Blaise's blue eyes shone with amusement, but he shook his head. "Relief isn't happiness. I mean, it's a positive emotion, but not what you need."
"I…" Theo cut himself off, not really sure what to say.
"Try a different memory," Blaise said after a brief pause. "Try again."
Theo stood up, once more searching his memory. This time it was harder, as he second guessed the emotions in his memories.
"Expecto Patronum."
White mist.
A different memory.
"Expecto Patronum."
Weaker mist.
A different memory.
"Expecto Patronum."
The strongest white mist yet, but still just mist.
Theo growled, throwing his arms up in the air. "I give up. Can I stop pretending that I'm happy now? I just… I can't do this."
"You've got to have been happy at least once in your life, mate," Blaise said, his voice low and sympathetic. "I know we didn't grow up in the most normal of situations, but we had good times in Hogwarts, right?"
Theo nodded. The problem was that he knew why he couldn't use them, he just couldn't explain his reasons to Blaise.
He thought back over their years, recognising the moments that made him smile, but knowing that every memory had an undercurrent of sadness and longing.
"What do you want me to do? Dress in drag and dance the hula? You know I'll do it," Blaise said, a grin slowly taking over his face.
A burst of surprised laughter burst out of Theo.
"I can't use memories with you in them," he admitted quietly.
Blaise frowned. "I'm your best friend. Why the hell not?"
Theo shook his head, shame making him unable to meet Blaise' eyes. "You know why not."
Blaise looked confused for a minute, before he blinked, his eyes widening. "What? No. Really?"
"It's fine, Blaise, really," Theo murmured, rubbing at his eyes. "I'll figure it out. Eventually."
"No, no, no, I'm not done with this conversation. Why did you never say anything?"
"Because that went so well the first time, right?"
"Theo, you were drunk! I thought you were talking bollocks because firewhisky is potent!"
Theo shook his head, allowing it when Blaise gripped his hand and pulled him to sit back down on the sofa.
"You can't just clam up, Theo. Please, just… that night, you meant it?"
Nodding, Theo replied, "Of course I meant it. I didn't need firewhisky to love you. Hell, I think I loved you before I knew what love was. I guess I needed firewhisky to tell you that I loved you though. And then… when you… I was so grateful that the day after, when things were normal and not awkward, then I thought it best to just not say anything. I'd always rather have you as my friend than nothing."
Blaise stared at him for a moment, before his lips tilted up in a smile. "I'm an idiot," he whispered. Leaning forward slowly, he pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss, before pulling back to look at Theo's reaction. "I'm sorry I waited so long."
Theo shook his head, lifting a cautious hand to rest against Blaise's cheek. "I'm not. That was… perfect."
"I'm sorry I rejected you," Blaise said, pressing his lips to the back of Theo's hand that he was still holding. "Think you've got that happy memory now?"
Theo stood up, determination in his eyes.
Blaise stood up to join him, leaning forward to put his chin on Theo's shoulder. "I love you."
"Expecto Patronum!"
The white mist appeared, but before Theo's heart could sink it shifted, forming an animal until a parrot was flying around the room, a silver sheen trailing slightly behind it.
"Of course you couldn't just have a bird. You gotta be exotic and have a parrot," Blaise snorted, pressing his lips to Theo's neck. "Well done."
Theo smiled, throwing his wand onto the table as he turned into Blaise's embrace, the parrot Patronus fading away.
"Thank you," he whispered.
As Blaise leant down slightly to join their lips together, Theo had the fleeting thought that he wouldn't need to search for happy memories anymore. The joy warming him up from the inside out told him he'd never have a problem casting his Patronus again.
Written for;
Character Appreciation - 8. First
Disney - Q1. "What do you want me to do, dress in drag and dance the hula?"
Shannons Showcase - Finland - Light / LGBT Representation (Slash pairing)
Book Club - The Blue Man - Exotic / Blue / Shame
Buttons - O3. Parchment / D3. "Can I stop pretending that I'm happy now?"
Lyric Alley - 24. Tell me what the sighing's about.
Ami's Audio - 1. Wireless Radio
Sophie's Shelf - 6. It's just not cool to disagree with me."
Emys Emporium - 13. A fic set within 24 hours.
Scavenger Hunt - 18. Blaise / Kiss / Longing
Cooking Corner - Chocolate Syrup: Saucy
Insane House Challenge - 87. BlaiseTheo