You lost again, didn't you, Logan? Nasty, nasty boy, who can't even keep what's most important to him. Nasty, nasty boy. You will tell yourself that life's about losing, and that you're very, very good at life. You lost your father, even before you were born, you lost your mother, first to the pills that miraculously took her pain away and then to the cold waters of the river, you lost your childhood to these two people who were supposed to be your caretakers, you lost your innocence to the world, who was happy to oblige and make you feel like the spoiled rich white boy who got everything he wanted, the one you knew you weren't, but turned into, just for the sake of it. You lost your sister to her continuous whims and caprices, you lost your teenage years to booze and drugs. And you lost me, the girl you thought was the love of your life (Oh, how mistaken you were, stupid, stupid Logan!) , you lost me at the hands of dearest daddy, who was there, once again, making your life hell.
And when you thought you had nothing else to lose (because you didn't have anything else, at all) she came and made your life worthwhile again. She lit up not only your days, but your nights, with that sarcastic smile of hers. With her retorted comments and her petite body around you, you felt safe again, you felt whole. Slowly those smiles that weren't sarcastic or cynical returned to you face and you found yourself grinning lopsidedly more than you'd care to admit. Life wasn't about losing, you understood. It was about learning to overcome the losses. It was about growing and finding that true little thing that made all the loss worth it.
But then you lost her as well. What did you do, Logan? What did you do to make her run away from you, yet again? I don't think she's coming back, not this time. You broke her walls, every obstacle she put around herself after I left her alone to prevent herself from getting hurt again, and when she was at her weakest, stroke her with all your force. Oh, sonny-boy, don't cry, I know you didn't want to. I know it's difficult. But you should have known better. You really should have.
What are you gonna do now? Cry more, let life pass by life Duncan used to do? Weren't you the one mocking him for his passiveness? Now you're gonna let the love of your life (Oh, yes, we both now it - don't try to lie to yourself, and don't even try to lie to me) walk away on you because you cannot find it in you to try and get her back. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's difficult, it hurts. You hurt. But you've got the strength, you've got it, I can see it.
Underneath all that, there's still the young and fresh Logan I got to know, once. The boy who was full of dreams and ideals, who had the world at this feet (who had yet to be beaten into oblivion by his father) who had the strength to face everything and everyone for what he believed in. Get that boy back, move the thrash and get him back. Yeah, boy, that's an order. I know you used to get off on that. No wonder you're so into Veronica, she couldn't be more butch if she tried to.
Yeah, that's my- oups, not mine anymore, I guess- Logan! Go for it, stud! Yeah, yeah, I know that - I'm amazing.