(A/N: I wrote Avengers AU! Jogan because of the reasons. To quote Superman in Holy Musical Batman, "because I can/Therefore I will." Excuse me while I go to comic book hell, particularly for that last quote. Stony (hence, Jogan) is already an established couple in this.
I don't own anybody. Julian and Logan are the creations of C.P. Coulter and frankly, I'm a little worried if you don't know where the Avengers are from.
If anybody is still confused, Logan is Captain America/Steve Rogers and Julian is Iron Man/Tony Stark.)
He forces the metal mask off, gasping and shaking as he half-sits, half-collapses on one of the many workbenches scattered around the room.
"Jarvis," he wheezes. "Take a note- Let's not try that ever again."
"Noted, sir," Jarvis says as dryly as AI can.
"No, seriously. Never again," he says, fumbling with his shirt to check that the steady blue light continued to glow.
"If you say so, sir."
"Is that sarcasm I detect, Jarvis?"
"Of course not."
Julian leans his head back tiredly, a laugh bubbling up his throat. "I did way too good a job making you, huh?"
"Sir, Captain Ameri-"
Jarvis is cut off by the heavy strides of Logan Wright appearing, lips tight and eyes blazing. He's still wearing that damnable Captain America suit, all tight leather fitted to a sculpted body.
"You should be illegal," Julian mutters, turning his head away from sharp green eyes he admired as a child, before his hero worship simmered into a full-blown infatuation involving more graphic fantasies than he can even keep track of anymore. "Christ," he adds deliberately, sure that the chiseled jawline tightens even more.
"What," Logan says, voice crisp and icy, "did you think you were doing?"
"Pretty sure I was saving your life, Cap, and while I didn't expect you to fall into my arms with gratitude- oh, wait, maybe because saving you already involved flying off into the sunset with you in my arms- I did think you might be a little grateful. You know, because you're Captain America and so fucking faultless and all that." Julian winces as fingers unmercifully prod at the various injuries in his side, dancing up to flatten against the thin fabric covering his arc reactor. "Don't do that."
"What, touch this?" Logan pushes harder, until Julian can feel the shaking still there in his hands. "You obviously have no concern for it, considering that little stunt you pulled today."
"I saved your life."
"By jeopardizing yours."
"So? It's mine. I'll do what I want with it. You were falling, Logan. What was I supposed to do, let it happen?"
"You could have sent Thor."
A bright blue figure plummeting past windows, a thousand lights glittering in a backdrop, and he hears Cap through the suit, voice too calm, calling for Thor to catch him.
I can't let that happen.
I can't.
"I had to try."
"You're part of a team, Larson." Logan steps closer, hand never leaving Julian's chest and eyes never looking away, until Julian is forced to tilt his head up and meet his stormy gaze.
God, he's perfect.
"You knew technology wasn't functioning in the radius of that explosion. Did you forget that your precious suit isn't, in fact, you?" Logan says, reeling Julian's attention back in.
"Momentum dictated I could catch you and come through with an unharmed Cap-"
"And what about you?" Logan's other hand is on Julian's shoulder and it's kind of hard to breathe now, with words burning the back of this throat and a shaking climbing up through his limbs, when he wants to hit something, he wants to break something, fuck, what is Logan even saying? "This thing? It still counts as technology. You're not invincible, Jules-"
"You think I don't know that?" Julian would have shot up and shoved Logan away, maybe even indulged in a punch or two, had he the strength. As it is, with his legs still trembling beneath him, he grabs something and throws it blindly, sending it flying across his lab and smashing through the windshield of one of his beloved vintage cars- and, yeah, he's going to be pissed tomorrow, but it's impossible right now, with that damn blond-haired, green-eyed hero practically pinning him down.
"You think I don't know I'm not invincible? You think I can't feel every second of how fucking vulnerable I am, knowing that all someone would have to do to kill me would be to just yank this fucker," he says, gesturing down, "out of my chest, this goddamn thingthat's keeping my heart from tearing to shreds, keeping my blood from killing me with something I created."
Logan's saying something now, an urgency sharpening his voice more than he probably means, but Julian barrels on, not even knowing what he's saying until he's shouting over Logan, "I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT."
There's finally silence. Julian is breathing hard, unsteady under Logan's hand, refusing to look at him. The sounds of his shuddering breathing fills the hushed room until they are drowning in it. At time like these, he thinks he can hear a faint whirring from his arc reactor. In all probability, it's likely all just in his head, but somewhere deep down, he desperately needs to know that there is something to replace the beating of his heart.
When he speaks again, his voice is flat, rasping on the harder letters.
"And you can disapprovingly lecture me all you want, but you, you're just this masterpiece and you're just unreal, and the worst part is that you actually care. Me? I'm the product of money and a name I can't carry. I may be a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist powered by a pretty blue light, but when I die, people are going to remember shit about me and skip over instead to Captain America, and, God, wasn't he just everything a person ever wanted or needed?"
Julian has to stop for breath at this point, glancing up at Logan, but he immediately wishes he hadn't, because Logan is looking down at him with eyes full of heart and cradling his face so goddamn gently. He should be locked up, fuck, because it shouldn't be allowed to make Captain America look like that, like he's about to cry, with his jaw tight with something that's no longer anger, and he's shaking his head, mouthing No, no, God, no.
In spite of himself, Julian reaches up to barely touch Logan's cheekbone. "Hey." It's a whisper, but he knows Logan hears him. "Hey. No. Don't do that."
The corner of Logan's mouth curls up and he says, choked, but very, very quietly, "I'll do whatever I want."
"No. Not that. You can't do that."
Julian Larson has kissed many people in his life. He's kissed people he was wildly attracted to and he's kissed people he thought he had loved. Most of all, though, he's kissed people he forgot the next day.
Logan Wright has never been one of those people. Every touch and every kiss cuts into him, the heat fanning out below the surface, until words Logan has never shied from echo in his ears.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Only a moment ago, he would have predicted that there would be anger sex, harsh and rough, but this is different.
It's slow and it's sad, but most of all, it's incredibly sweet.
They slid down to the floor at some point during all of the kissing. Julian is straddling Logan, hands splayed on his chest for balance, and although Logan is holding him steady with one hand on his hip, the other is pressed to his, holding it his heart.
Their bodies move together, an aching dance of touch and heat reverberating through every inch they have to offer.
It should only have been a few seconds, but something is wrong. His chest feels like it's crumpling in on itself and black is fraying his vision. The sounds are coming in strange and muffled, but he can hear Logan's voice, Logan shouting at him, saying words he can't process.
But, fuck, doesn't that mean he's alive?
He's not falling.
He's alive.
Logan is alive, and he honestly almost forgets to set that star-spangled ass down.
When Julian comes, back arching and soft sounds falling from his throat, Logan does not pause, but moves for him until Julian cries out in sobs, "Logan."
Logan's lips brush his, pressing urgently against his jaw, his cheek, his mouth, and he swears that Logan is illuminating him from within, sending streaks of brilliant colour and light through him
Most of all is the bright, living green of Logan's eyes drinking him in, wide and warm. He's mouthing something, only Julian can't really tell what it is in his trembling haze.
But he can guess.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
(A/N: I don't know what the fuck I'm on, but whatever it is, it must be good. Title from the album Truth or Dare by Automatic Loveletter. Reviews would be nice.)